Maybe ask her if she's feeling welcome to the family and how is adjusting going, etc? Since you don't know how she's taking it, or if it's even something she'd want to talk about it might help to open the door first... then if she walks in let her know

Maybe? I dunno. You're a thoughtful future sister-in-law.

I'm asking myself what it is I want to do here-- protect her, protect them, my brother, my mom? I feel like she could understandably be taking a dislike to the whole group, and I think that could be stressful for everyone in the long run, so I have this itch to do something to mitigate that, to smooth things over.

I don't know why I'm taking things so hard. I'm sitting here biting my nails and with my stomach all churned up. I just got off the phone with my brother and he sounded so exhausted and overwhelmed.

Why do people have to get married?

Oops, sorry Cat, we cross posted. I like your thoughts there. Glad you think I'm thoughtful and not just meddlesome! I'm feeling unsure myself.

I agree with Cat - check in and see how she's doing before emailing. On that same note, I'd try to make it a conversation rather than email? Either face to face if she's local and you're comfortable, or on the phone. That way, nothing can be misconstrued the way email tends to do!

Hi R2G,

Thanks for chiming in. Yeah, you are probably right about face to face being better. Although, I think I have decided to leave it be entirely, unless a convenient opportunity presents itself the next time I see her and it feels right to raise the topic.

You see, after writing here I spent some time composing an email. . . not so much with the intention of sending it as fleshing out what I might want to say. After I read it over a few times for personal clarity I thought to myself, "Why am I doing this? Why am I trying to "make" her like my aunts?"

I don't even like my aunts! I mean, I "love" them in the sense of affection + good will and I like them so far as it goes, but I see their shortcomings clearly enough and I don't choose to be close with them or spend a lot of time in their company.

But as far as future SIL goes-- everyone has the right to dislike their inlaws, and why should I wish to take that from her?

I'm done. I bought a present, I'm gonna go to the shower, I'll smile at everyone and eat some food, then I will come home and stay here. At least until the wedding when I will repeat the routine.

I wish them all well, I really do, I just. . . miss my T. Maybe I'm a little sad about my brother getting married. I don't know. . .

Thanks for reading. I guess I'm kind of done wit the thread now since I answered my own question, but if anyone wants to say anything they still can. . .

Sorry about all the ellipticals. I am bad with ending sentences. I don't like the feeling of finality a period brings.

Ellipsis. Not ellipticals. :P