TAS,
Don't be offended...I just had to laugh! I stare at the books and the way they're arranged. I gave her a book and as she was making room for it on the book shelf I wanted to grab it and do it but I restrained...but she noticed and did look at me strangely. I look at the ceiling tiles and count and wonder if the half or cut ones match up to the other ones that are shorter to make a whole one. I look at the imperfections on the wall. And I speed up my talking and avoid to get away from something that is bringing up the slightest feelings.

I never intend to do these things but it is hard to keep my eyes on T constantly...although it is better when I can manage to do it for the most part which is pretty rare.

I haven't hummed yet...might try it though.

Too funny!

Hopeful

I stare at the carpet and try and make shapes from the pattern, the next week I try to find the same ones again.

Hopeful I am not offended at all. Therapy is a very serious enterprise...so, a laugh is needed every once in a while.

I forgot to mention that if there is stuff on the floor...little pieces of thread or whatever from the carpet...I will start picking them up...I will straighten up the rugs...I will make sure the cushions and pillows are straight on the couch...

He just lets me do it...

Scars09: Thanks for sharing! I wish the carpet where I go had designs...but it's just one solid color.

It's interesting how our defences kick in...

I hope you are well T.

*defenses (oops) (Now that is funny...I wrote de FENCES...in other words...keeping feelings out) the unconscious speaks

lol @ the speaking unconscious, TAS. I like your humor.

When I am avoiding feelings in therapy I will sometimes just prattle on about a "safe" subject. Poor T has gotten to hear about the plots of so many books I've read, amongst other things.

This is too funny...I always sit in the same spot on the couch (well used to before I relived some trauma sitting in that spot)
and on the arm of the couch there is an area where someone acidentally drug there blue ink pen across the fabric. I used to sit and pick each little tiny fuzz that had ink on it out when I didn't want to feel (or listen to what T was saying)
But now that I can't go back to my spot, I sit on the floor and I intertwine the pieces of fabric from my scarf that I bring with me in between my fingers. I still stare at the pen spot...its almost all gone thank you to my hard work and dedication and it just about drives me mad that I don't think I will ever be able to sit there and pluck at the couch again!
Funny, I just realized T has never said anything about me basically pulling her couch apart thread by thread.

I look at the lines on my hand like I'm a fortune teller. If the feelings are still too much to handle, I change the subject, and my T usually exclaims, "What just happened?!"

D.

Kmay...I understand exactly what you are speaking of when you said you could not sit in the place that you used to due to reliving some trauma...

I had sat in the same place for about 6 months of seeing Therapist until that very thing happened and I came in the next session and changed my seat...I have never sat there since...I hope it doesn't happen again...because I will be running out of places to sit

It's funny what we do to distract ourselves, isn't it?

Debbye:

When your therapist asks, "What just happened..." you can tell her that you are looking at your hands to find the answer...lol. (like a fortune teller does

Thanks for sharing.

T.

TAS - My T only has the patient couch, her couch and the floor. I was thinking the same thing about running out of places to sit

I stare at the door. Next to the door is the hook where she hangs here coat. At the end of the session I know exactly what kind of coat she wore to work in the morning, but have no idea what clothes she is wearing!



Starlight

Some of these made me smile... The things we do.... I stare at the carpet and I used to make patterns out of things and then challenge myself the next week to find them or remember them - but I don't do that now. I stare at curtains. Intently. For ages..... I stare at the cushion in front of me. A lot. I stare at the vacant chair (T and I sit on a long sofa), I stare at a cupboard, at some fake flowers. I find the cracks in the ceiling too.

I know what I DON'T look at - My T's face...

To deflect conversation my usual method is to just not talk. Usually a dissociated thing takes over and I stare off into space, sometimes thinking, sometimes zoning out. Sometimes I change the subject or answer an entirely different question, except 9 times out of 10 T is onto that and remembers her original qu.

It is never deliberate. If I don't want to answer I will tell her so and she will then either push me or back off depending on my distress and whether T thinks I need pushing.

Usually me just turning up turns OFF feelings. I get there and cannot remember why I am in therapy - i have a barrier around me before I even start talking.
Somedays

Kmay I know

Starlight...yes, that is funny about not knowing what she has worn...I, for some reason, notice his shoes...but that is it!

Three Fruits
Somedays:
I know exactly what you mean when you say you are not looking at the Therapists face...ugh. Like you said...it's not planned but it happense...last week I hid my face behind a pillow and the Therapist said gently, "Face me."
I said, "I can't." He gently said, "You need to."

I hope you are doing well Thank you for sharing!

To Better Days,
T.

what do i do to ovoid feeling... well silence gives me the creeps so when i hit the skids with T i start muttering nonsence and going... and ammm, and ammmm, and ammmmm, and ammmmmmmmm and so on. All while looking at T's feet or when I am feeling sly at her legs.
funny as it may sound but i am sure she knowes i do look at her from time to time and not always at the floor or out the window.

I used to try and count leaves on a beautiful tree outside, give myself one inch of window pane to work on at a time....impossible but effective

Similar to Starfish - I look out a huge window with many panes in it, and look for symmetry in the branches, analyze which window pane capture the best image, and so forth. The window is just to the right of T, so I feel like I'm almost looking at him, just...not!
I also intently study the Persian rug on the floor or the arrangement of items on the table in front of me, and check floorboards and ceiling trim for spiders. More than once I've alerted him to a new web in a corner, occasionally with a resident, and he's always gotten up immediately to get rid of it for me.

Also, he often sits with his legs stretched out in front of him, in which case I'll study the bottoms of his shoes and how his socks have slouched down, and wonder if they don't bother him.

Starry

Looks like we are all pretty much doing the same thing......

shoes, carpet, floor, windows, curtains, blinds, our fingers and hands, cracks, paint BUT NO EYE CONTACT!

IMPORTANT NOTE TO ALL T's WHO MAY BE READING: You need never wear mascara or any make-up because none of your patients will ever notice. You don't even need to brush your hair, but do remember to make sure that your shoes are clean, your toe nails are well kept if wearing sandles, and the general state of your room is immaculate....because we will notice those things!

B2W

quote:

IMPORTANT NOTE TO ALL T's WHO MAY BE READING: You need never wear mascara or any make-up because none of your patients will ever notice. You don't even need to brush your hair, but do remember to make sure that your shoes are clean, your toe nails are well kept if wearing sandles, and the general state of your room is immaculate....because we will notice those things!

B2W

LOL, you nailed it B2W. So very true!

I generally stare at my scarf which I am holding to keep my hands occupied. Also the power outlets on the wall, T's shoes or any pieces of lint or dirt lying on the carpet. Everything that's going on above knee level I won't notice.

I usually try humor first and then change the subject. Sometimes she brings me back and sometimes not. It depends usually. If it's bad, I got quiet and then kind of space out until she asks me where I am.