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Closed10 replies

What happened to Sadly

S shamefulMember
I came here to say that what happened to Sadly was shameful. She spoke about her own difficulties in therapy and some of you here were rude to her on the forum and also rude to her in personal messages. her last post about her therapist running over time because they got into deep stuff elicited many replies and many of them were attempting to highlight a perceived problem in the therapeutic relationship. she handled this well and then left for India and travelled for three days. When she got there she was triggered and reached out to Psyche Forum for support only to find her account had been terminated.

Is this how you treat people?

I am shocked. I am a close friend and colleague of Sadly and had noted that this forum had a policy of being unkind to those who do not toe the party line on issues in therapy. And believe me, you have many party lines going on here at the moment and you are indeed a clique. You dislike newcomers with different views and you are abusive to people who question some of the much liked theories. I have seen this happen a number of times here.

Several people reached out to Sadly and remarked that they do not dare post on this site as it it obviously a small clique and that alternative views (not agreed with by the moderator) are not welcome. You actually gang up against people, as you did with Sadly three times. And you consider this okay.

I feel you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Not one of you thought to ask where Sadly had gone and when she pm-d a few of you to say what had happened only one replied. Which presumes that the rest of you are happy to stay in your clique with your own little theories that support each others view and to hell with hurting a very genuine and kind and gentle person who posted here and helped many of you.

Truly, think about this. Who asked her to be terminated\? If it was the moderator, the great and not to be challenged AG, then shame on you. If it was someone else, shame on you too. Look at what you did. Is this right? Is it fair? It is sensitive?

I am shocked and many of my colleagues are shocked at how this site it run.
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muffmuffMember
Mm, must be something wrong with me. I joined up here about 4 mths ago, and have found every one in here very welcoming, warm, forgiving, and highly intelligent. Thats our nature I guess.
I have been impressed with the compassion and empathy displayed by all members, and have learnt a lot about the different therapies out there.

As for Mrs AG, I found her to be a very special, talented and caring person, dead set on helping all she can by sharing her experiences with others going through what she did. I may not agree with all her advise, but I know am not obligated to take it either. I respect her, as she does us.

We are or have been patients, not professionals trying to support each other in here, and as I said, doing a good job of trying to care for each other.

I wished this forum had been available to me whilst I was going through my therapy, it would have helped me knowing others were feeling the same as me. I wouldnt have felt so isolated with my pain. It would have given me the hope I needed in believing there were genuine people out there, capable of caring about others, including me.

I hope you find out what has happened with Sadly, and why she was deleted. Perhaps she can answer that question for you.

I find it very hard to accept anyone in here would intentially want to upset any member.
closeddoorscloseddoorsMember
Shameful, i had every intention to ask about Sadly's whereabouts, but you beat me to the punch. i followed and participated in many of her threads. she was very insightful and generous. i'm with muff in that i don't think anybody intended to be rude ... rather i think people were truly concerned about her and wanted to make sure she did not get hurt again. surely you would agree that the type of relationship she had with her T was what for most people was pushing boundaries in a huge way, and that is why people were getting concerned. CONCERNED. none of us were in the therapy room with her and her T, and after reading further into the thread i began to understand that maybe this was okay after all and i even said so. she handled responses from others in that particular thread extremely well! she never seemed defensive, even when it would be understandable if she did. i just think you're being a little harsh on all of us. i truly don't think this is a "clique". i've only been posting for about a month, so i'm a new-comer and quite frankly i don't feel unwelcome here. quite the contrary. you are understandably angry, but i don't think it's fair of you to make such wide-spread accusations. i am sorry for what happened with Sadly and will (and have already) miss her. you are a good friend to be venting in her honor. i really hope the best for Sadly.
S shamefulMember
I have been very busy but read these few posts and would like to say that Sadly did nothing untoward here, had no private conversations that were rude and was still terminated.

This sucks.

she was in crisis in India when it occured and was trying to log on to the site when she found she was denied access.

I am horrified by this. I know her well. She is a kind insightful generous but fragile survivor and terminating her from this forum was despicable.
forgetmenotforgetmenotMember
Yeah I hope she is okay. I didn't see much issues but then I haven't been on here as much as some of you. I noticed that she is extremely fragile and perhaps at times feels misperceived. (I don't think thats even a word but hey there we go, I just made it into one! Lol). I think there was a thread where she talked about hugs in therapy or touch or something and there was some controversy. I didn't see, however, the controversy in what she was saying, the post seemed to be read in different ways by different people which sparked some conflict between her and other members. It became communicably intricate because I think some people perceived what she was saying differently. I could see in the thread that she wasn't meaning to be one sided, she was expressing a strong view. I've had those intense crossovers of misleading dialogue, especially online, its hard to sometimes recognize the feeling behind the opinion because its put out in a way that might suggest otherwise if skimmed over or whatnot. Anyway, I'm rambling about one situation. I don't know her but she seemed okay to me. Of course there are other sides to things so I reserve judgement.

I think what is difficult about a group of survivors/fragile people coming together on supportive forums like this is indeed the fragility of some. It can clash so much. If there were elements of emotional manipulation, then the clash will be very difficult to overcome. I'm not saying Sadly did manipulate but if people felt that way about her or situations that came across that way, it would always require honest talk and compromise.

Anyway, I hope she is okay...I don't really know what else to say, I'm sorry..x
S shamefulMember
Sadly HAS NEVER fought back at ANY of you on this site but boy, I can. Just stop being so nasty and small minded and like school kids ganging up on the weaker one in the play ground.

She earned her place here by being considerate and being insightful but oh, no, she had different views at times and as Babs so clearly pointed out, DIFFERENT views are NOT allowed, especially if they are about touch or hugs. You all really liked laying into her about that.

You should be ashamed of yourselves. Just because she gets upset about different topics in therapy than you does NOT mean you can call her names, post abusive messages to her and gang up on her and then chuck her out when SHE was not doing any of those things back.


You ought to be ashamed of yourselves for how you treated Sadly. There was NO stuff behind the scenes but it sure suits your conscience that there must have been, otherwise you woudl have to live with the fact that Sadly did nothing but post what she posted to public view and was terminated. It could happen to you. If you do not toe the party line ....if Ag takes a dislike to you, if enough people decided to start bearing grudges against your different perspective.

It makes you all look really bad. Like a bunch of bullies in the school playground picking on the more vulnerable one because they don't wear the same fashion as you.

I still think you need to look at what you did and begin to feel ashamed of your behaviour. But of course, you all feel that you were not part of the problem, the problem was Sadly. How convenient for you. I suspect you do that with that rest of your life as well.
Attachment GirlAttachment GirlAdmin
Shameful,

I have been forbearing, knowing that you were upset over your friend being barred from the forum, but this is enough. You are not trying to discuss anything, you are using a forum you insist you detest, to attack and defame the people on it. If what you are saying is your idea of kindness and sensitivity, I am glad to know you do not perceive those qualities in anyone here. I am closing this thread. If you start another thread with more abusive posting, that will be closed and your membership suspended.

And yes, I am fully aware that you will claim that I am doing this because you singled me out for special mention. If it was only myself you were attacking, I could ignore that, I know the truth of what happened and who I am. But you are also attacking the members here without a basis other than your own opinion and I would be remiss in my responsibilities if I ignored you because I was worried you would see me as only protecting myself.

If you take exception to this, please feel free to email or PM Shrinklady and complain to her about my behavior.

AG, Moderator
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