hi lb ... i really don't have much to say, but that i really dont' believe that you are wasting your t's time. people relapse in all types of addictions. that does not mean that they are a "waste" of their t's time. it's an uphill stuggle and t's realize that. there will be slips but it's okay. it's part of the learning experience. be gentle with yourself, and please keep going to T. it's better than any alternative. btw, it's nice to see you and welcome to the cafe.

(((lb)))

No words of wisdom. Just wanted to reach out to you. I've often felt like that when I've regressed, that I'm wasting my T's time but it's going to happen. We take two steps forward and one step back. Our T's expect it to happen.

((LB)) relapse is the most important time to go back! and... they are expected (relapses) so I hope you can give yourself less of a hard time. I remember the first time I felt fully recovered for a long span of time then relapsed, it's heartbreaking I'm sorry that is happening. Your T may be able to help you figure out why... and re-regulate. Depending on which behaviors and when your T can really help, esp if ED is her specialty (I see two Ts, one who specifically for my ED). I'd hope your T is not responding to or seeing you gain weight and commenting that it's "good". That's like guaranteed to trigger someone. Anyway, when my ED has taken over control the most I'm overwhelmed with shame and don't want to see anyone. I really am pulling for you that you'll still go and see your T. I'm in pretty dire conditions with my ED right now too, but I can't see it or understand it. I know the feeling all too well of what it's like on the body after b/p - I used to do it for days before I got in to treatment. At the worst it was probably all day every day for weeks. It makes everything so much harder, and so hard to think, and so exhausting. Please consider calling your T back in to your healing.

LB, you have to see your T.

I am struggling with my ED at the moment as well. I don't see my nurse specialist until mid April. Have to struggle with it until then.

Now is not the time to leave therapy, it is the time to re engage.

LB setbacks are difficult to accept but they're normal and ok. I underrstand you want to run but it won't make the pain go away. But sticking with therapy and asking about was happening will help the pain go little by little. Hang in there

Thank you all for your input. I know it's not good for me to not go back to t. however, I can't afford it anymore. I don't know how to post updates so I did it under my first post. any additional input would be greatly appreciated. thanks!