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I know I have major anger issues. In college my anger mixed w/ alcohol lead to several run ins w/ the authorities. I've learned to keep a very tight lid on this emotion bec once it's out I usually can't get it back in.
My anger thru the yrs has gotten worse & when I allow myself to let go it turns into rage. Sometimes a blind rage & don't remember stuff, things get broken & words are said I don't recall saying. To stop them I'd usually just let it exhaust myself, but in a controlled setting like a hospital it means drugs are issued...then zombie land.
I've let my rage out a couple of times while I've been here & it's led to physical problems, damage & isolation. I now have a reputation about going off the deep end.
Today I received some extremely bad news & I noticed my name on the nursing staff wall was already changed to isolation setting; they were expecting the worst I guess. After a meeting I was led there & didn't throw a fit or temper tantrum. I couldn't. I didn't have the energy. So I'm out of there right now but on 5 min watches making sure that I don't get worked up. If I do I know where I'm going.
I can usually feel when it's coming. It's like starting a fire. There's a spark & then the wind blows on it & it catches flames licking the air for oxygen. My rage starts like that. Something small can escalate so quickly & when it catches...well I'd stand back bec it doesn't come back down.
Tonite my anger has surfaced but not been an issue. I know I've been living on 4-6 hrs of sleep & that makes me cranky. I do take a good supply of nite meds. I can foresee tonight going south if my meds don't work & I get grouchy. I've talked to the med nurse & their trying to order something stronger for me. I really don't want anymore problems; I've alreadyade a mess of things & having a meltdown would be the icing on the "bad day" cake.
So does anyone else have issues w/ anger or rage? How do you handle it? I do a lot of grounding & different techniques to calm myself but sometimes I feel like the anger is growing to big for me & I let go. What happens when you get angry & how do you control it?
See just posting this is making me irritated.
Thanks for your help.
Original Post
Mudd

Anger is a very, very difficult feeling to manage. Same with rage.

I actually have been struggling with this the past few days and here's how I handle it. I have come to see that anger and rage are usually underpinned by hurt relating to feelings of grief, guilt, shame and powerlessness. So when I start to notice how angry or rageful I seem to be feeling I immediately search deeper for the real reason. Anger can be legitimate but it can also be a very effective defence that ends up keeping us Suffering and alone.

I do tend to write things down and sometimes I end up in bed crying while other times I can only deal with it for a short while and then try and distract myself with a book, DVD, going outdoors or hanging out with family. And I always talk to my T about it. But they can be very hard days. I don't tend to take it out on my family anymore unless they've angered me and then we discuss it.

It's taken me a long time to get to this place. There are nights I've laid in bed seething with rage unable to sleep. Days I've wanted to smash mirrors, fight and hurt people. I never have but I can see how some people would struggle. Ultimately we are adults and have the ability and responsibility to control our behaviour and be accountable for our actions.

At the end of the day, feelings need to be put into words rather than acting them out to be resolved and managed effectively. Same goes for anger and rage.

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