Possibly ****triggering**** for parental (especially educational) neglect.
Sorry to be posting so many topics. A lot of BS coming up in my life. Got a call from my 20-year-old sister (the next one in line after me, my first "daughter," crying and saying my little brother skipped school today to "study for a test." He has apparently been skipping regularly, lying about homework and such, and he might fail 8th grade. He's a sweet kid, capable of As and Bs if he has someone keeping him engaged. My mom is basically never home (something she did any time she got a new boyfriend throughout my childhood). His dad, who isn't "with" my mom anymore, also lives there, but checks out with alcohol and pain medications for a serious, chronic back injury. Neither parent will do anything about it. When my sister tried to tell my mom she needs to do anything, my mom refused to talk about it. She will ignore it until my brother actually fails and then berate him for not taking care of business...it is her M.O.. Usually, this is when we'd make our home available for some stability and discipline. However, 1) my oldest sister and my nephew are already staying here; 2) my home is no longer considered a "safe" place by my sisters, because of H's condition; and 3) I'm supposedly supposed to be resisting my codependent urges, but I'm not sure that counts when you're trying to save an innocent kid from having his life effed up from neglect. I feel so helpless and angry (I know H can't help his condition, but if it weren't for that issue, my family would be coming to me for more help). I am going to try to get involved in my little brother's homework situation a bit, but it will involve the expense of commuting an hour a day if I have to go and sit with him and make sure he is doing his homework.
He starts high school next year (if he graduates middle school) and if these habits continue, he is crippling his opportunities for further education. I am so angry that he has no emotional support, such educational and emotional neglect...yet I cannot be angry about the "worse" things that happened to me. I considered being ignored the way he is to be "lucky." Now, I see how disgusting it is. I was so upset, I texted T out of instinct to ground myself and now I'm paranoid that he will inform someone, even though it's not "technically" abusive. I want to save him! I want to save them all! How the F--- do you give birth to children and then forget they exist or otherwise make them invisible. I'm literally sick right now. And so triggered. I don't understand WTF these people are thinking!!!
Original Post
How can she not care? I really do not understand this woman. Did she assume that the way she did things "works" just because I always succeeded in school? I'm feeling like it was my fault that I didn't show or tell her how damaging it was to be raised this way. The best I was able to contribute is she has never kicked any of my younger siblings out since I stood up to her. I guess I can't take it on. Obviously, it makes no difference to her. She is just wound up in her own stuff and can't "see" her children at all. Ugh.