So you have that perfect situation to assert your rights and needs. You carefully evaluate the most tactful way to do so (or at least you think you do!) and you remind yourself that you are no longer a powerless child- it's "OK" to say no now. It's healthy to refuse to be a doormat, right? You get all anxious and feel like you're just going to throw up but realize how much worse you'll feel letting someone run you over. You know if you don't make your wishes known, it will fester under the surface until you hate them. So you take that brave step to say, "excuse me, your behavior isn't working for me." and what happens?
It goes exactly as you feared it would. It becomes a repeat of the lashing you always received as a child for any act of self protection. Then what? THEN WHAT???!!! You did the healthy thing, the hard thing, the scary thing, and you got the reaction you hoped and prayed NOT to get. That's how it feels anyway. Maybe you guys can tell me if I'm just having a major over reaction, which is entirely possible, and as I type the sentence, most likely what this is
But it doesn't stop how much it hurts 
Let me explain/ vent what happened. I agreed to watch a friend's 2 dogs this weekend. She originally told me she would drop them off this evening around 4 or 5. I said ok, and everything was fine. Then she texts me earlier today and says "it will be later than I thought." and I said ok. So 6pm rolls around, and I'm starting to feel a little annoyed. I keep thinking "what does later mean? Can't I have a vague estimate of time? am I supposed to just sit around until bedtime, and my entire evening is shot... waiting? That doesn't feel very respectful of my time. I'm pretty much trapped in my house, waiting for a mysterious time between 5 and ??? during which I can't leave to get dinner or do some errands I wanted to do without wondering when I have to rush back to the house to meet her. I feel really frustrated to not have my schedule given any more respect than that."
SO I thought, what can I do about it? I sent her a text and said exactly this. "do you have an estimate of what time you might be by? I'm supposed to go out this evening so I want to be able to plan around it."
Her response: "10ish??? I'll just tie them to the front porch."
Now I realize I'm extra sensitive right now, so I don't want to make a mountain of a molehill. And I realize text is VERY easily misunderstood. But that answer really hurt me. It felt like the guilt ridden messages and back handed jabs I know all too well from childhood. Usually when she's joking about something there's a 'LOL' or smiley face or whatever. Not with this one, and that really didn't help my feeling punished for asserting my need to the common courtesy of a head's up so I'm not waiting around all night. I know logically I should try to talk it out with her, but I feel hurt and I don't trust that things will get any better by trying to go against my instincts to withdraw again
Would anyone else be hurt by that? Am I being dramatic?
