Hello! New here!

I posted this as a comment on Dr. Lacombe's video, but it's awaiting moderation and I thought I'd lob it to the group as a discussion topic.

Have you ever had a therapist's own issues get in the way?

I’m a survivor of multiple childhood traumas. I went to therapy for one year, steadily at first and then, upon the therapist’s suggestion, only when something cropped up.

About one year into the therapy (maybe 15 sessions total), I finally felt comfortable and trusting enough to dig deeper on a particular issue. It was an issue I didn’t even touch for a year because it was something that often left me numb. Finally, I was starting to feel the depth and weight of this issue and its impact on my life, and I wanted to process it.

I let the therapist know this by e-mail and requested a session, and the therapist did not respond for about 20 days. Then, we set up the appointment and she cancelled last minute and never wrote back to reschedule. I later learned that the therapist’s personal life was getting in the way of her therapy practice. She had to go silent on everyone for about three months.

In this time, I had several unanswered emails to her, a last-minute cancellation and a promise to reschedule that went unanswered. I thought I'd done somethign to cause it.

When she returned, I tried to see her but I had to stop going because even the sight of her made me feel very afraid.

She apologized a lot, and said it had something to do with something in her own life being "off." I did some Internet searching and learned she had family members who died and she got a divorce.

Even knowing the reason why, I couldn't speak to her, I wanted to throw up. I felt crazy and silly and way too needy and shocked at my own reaction.

I guess I’m curious about what your thoughts are. I was devastated by the whole thing.

After five months, I was still crying about this so I found a new therapist. I’m scared of this person though she seems like a sweetheart. I’m starting to wonder if therapy is just madness — going to a therapist to talk about what happened with my last therapist? I think I’m now worse than ever and regretting ever opening up my heart and stability to this much risk in the first place. I had no idea that therapy carried so much personal risk if your therapist just drops you. I feel bad for my therapist but I also feel bad for myself.

Thank you for your thoughts!