Hi TAS -

Gosh, there are many times that I could have written your post myself. There have been times when I have emailed every therapist friend that I have (why DO I have so many!) and said - This is horrible! This is unbearable! Why would anyone do this work?

But it is true that it gets worse. My therapist friend told me that attachment/trauma/PTSD (I have all three) work is exactly the kind of work that feels worse while it is getting better. So, she told me - "If it feels like you are in hell, keep going."
I remember that, but pancakes! it's hard to do.

I just keep reminding myself that this isn't the new reality. This is not forever. I am dredging up this stuff, I am suffering this way, because this is what I need to do to heal these pieces and let them dissipate. My T calls it a big knot. It's a big knot of stuff. It seems terrible, painful, counter-productive to really look at it, to start unraveling it, to have to experience it all in it's full truth. But the only way to let this stuff go is to process it. So we have to feel worse as we get better.

Hang in there - I'm cheering for you. Keep going!

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I appreciate them.