When You Don't Feel Your Therapist Believes You

tasMember

For those of you who have been to different Therapists during your healing journey, have you encountered the same issues even though the Therapist is different?

For example, if you saw one Therapist and left them because you didn't feel they believed your story, did you have the same problem with the next Therapist?

Do some issues carry over no matter the Therapist?

Even if something is transference based, what do you do if you can't get past a certain feeling?

For me and my siblings, we tried to tell many times, even people who visited saw what was happening and they would eventually go away because when they did speak up they were dismissed from our lives. Several times they were reported and Social Workers would come and even though they were told, nothing was done. So, when we did speak up, no one believed us and nothing changed.

I am going through a difficult period right now and I have told him I feel as if he doesn't believe me (what happened to me when I was younger). He told me he did believe me. I said I can't FEEL you truly do believe me. He said, "I do."

I sent him a letter this week and told him if he doesn't believe me and if he really isn't 'with me' in the room, I just need him to tell me. But don't tell me you do believe me and don't tell me you are really present if you truly aren't.

This is so hard. So hard.

T.

Feeling he doesn't believe me is such a huge stumbling block for me right now. I am so confused and I am not able to tell what is real in the here and now and what is from my past. It feels immensely complex and I just want to give up.

4/28/142:46 PM

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lieseMember

((((TAS))))

Maybe it would just be too hard to believe that your T believes you because then you would have to believe you? It's been a long, hard journey coming to terms with the reality of the way I was treated but also incredibly affirming in a lot of ways. Hang in there.

4/28/148:04 PM

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fuzzball1933Member

I have troubles believing my T when he says he cares. He says he does and he's concerned etc but for some reason I just can't feel it? He says it's like I back him in the corner he tells me yet I don't believe him. He gives me reassurance yet his words mean nothing...He likes cbt, so he always tells me to write out my feelings and then the facts to support them or why I shouldn't. Good luck it is a struggle when you can't feel something. I hope your T can help with this with you.

4/28/149:26 PM

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jonesMember

Hi TAS -

I haven't had your particular issue about feeling believed, but I have had lots of experience of finding that something that's a struggle with one therapist is much easier with another (or sometimes vice versa!). Sometimes someone different just as a different way of speaking/approaching and it feels completely... different.

4/29/145:18 AM

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ljbMember

Hi there--

I've had three different therapists over the years. I never really felt they didn't believe me. If anything, they always thought I was witholding information about the past, which I was.

My current T seems to be more connected with me, more than my previous two T's. He always senses something, and he is usually right. I don't know how this happens or how he has the ability to "see" this, but it occurs quite often.

I, like others, do believe that it probably isn't the fact that your T doesn't believe you. It may have more to do with your acceptance of what happened. I think this can be more of a defense mechanism more than anything. Could that be possible?

I don't know. Just a thought. Hope you find some answers in the future. Don't know if this helped or not. Good luck to you on your theraputic journey.

LJB

4/29/148:00 AM

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tasMember

Thank you so much for your replies. I am definitely thinking about what each of you has written. I am so nervous and have been so confused since my last session, I am having trouble thinking. My anxiety has been so high and I am having trouble bringing myself down from it.

Thank you to each of you,
T.

Liese: It is incredibly hard facing reality when denial has been so commonplace.

Fuzzball: I struggle incredibly with reassurance. It's as if anything he says is never enough. I am stripping away all the good he offers and only mining the negative.

Jones: I am waiting to see how tomorrow goes. I am petrified to face him. I don't know what I am not able to 'feel' what he is saying. So disheartening. Thank you for your insight.

LJB: I feel the same as far as the Therapist being honed in on certain things and he just knows. This is what keeps me going back.

It could be possible it is a defense mechanism but I don't know why I would be employing this as such.

All the best!
Thank you,
T.

4/29/145:57 PM

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