An insecure, insensitive T would say those things. But a compassionate, experienced T will say that what you are experiencing is normal and understandable in your situation. She will set some boundaries on how you can express your transference, but she shouldn't shame or reject your feelings.

And I know it feels like you will die to admit these things or talk about the boundaries, but (fortunately and unfortunately) you won't.

Sky, This is really important for you and your healing. It's "part of the process". I was having a major breakdown in the office about this and T inched up to me, very close, as I was coming apart and said, in a super-compassionate tone "I can't be your father, there will be some dissapointments in therapy". It crushed me because it is the "wish" and it is also the truth. Hang in there and try to work with it. The problem is, therapy is a very slow process, but that is also what makes us experience authentic change deep inside. Keep talking about it with T. You may be amazed at how you can actually work through this and feel better.

I think my T said thank you (for talking about it), talked about how sweet me and my little girl are, talked a little if my history and comforted me.

I think Ts know and are used to being transference facilitators. That doesn't make being vulnerable easier though.

"transference facilitator" is a good word. and "they loooove" transference" is a good word, too. Maybe it feeds their vanity.
I was at another forum where someone said that the T shouldn't say the cold fact that they can never be the father or mother, as it could cause a breakdown and panic episode. But instead the T should say they will support and help the patient with their inner child feelings. I felt this was a better way because my adult self knows I can't be my T's child, but it's my own inner child who has such longing and fear.
Of course, I haven't even gotten to first base yet, but trying to anticipate every possibility, of course. That's me...analyze everything to death in advance so nothing can take me by surprise (whew).