So, the insurance thing has been a nightmare. I've had several people, including my T, say this is the worst they've ever witnessed someone being treated by a health insurance company (I'm sure some of you guys have worse experiences though).

I'm at the point where, having exhausted my appeals, having gone to the state (and them looking into it with the caveat that they can't actually do anything), H's company having gone to their insurance broker and having both his work and the broker fight to get them to change it and fail...I just want to be done. It is so triggering to treated the way they treat me and I don't want to fight anymore.

...but H wants to keep going, even if it means lawyers and arbitration. I would rather quit T than do that. Every time I make progress at all, someone in management tells whoever I am talking to that they are not to answer my questions anymore. Their arguments make no sense and I can't predict my costs going forward, because the tools they told me to use give me wrong numbers. I ask for clarification on how their system works and then, "I'm sorry, you exhausted your appeal, so I won't answer questions about how we make these decisions."

Should I really have to keep fighting when I am obviously going to lose? Does it really matter if they are wrong? My parents taught me that it's pointless to fight back when someone has all the power. Why does H insist on putting me back in the position of feeling neglected and invalidated and abused when it's almost certain nothing good can come of it?

He says he'll do all the work for it himself, but he has a full-time job and I know all of the details intimately. Anything he does will require several times as long for him to research as just have me give him the information. Realistically, knowing that it is still out there, in the open, is too much for me. I don't feel like I'm worth the fight, and H insists on it.

Say this was a medical, and not a mental health, expense, and the time and energy put into getting reimbursed at the rate you were estimated and formally quoted, was causing your physical health to deteriorate...and there was none of this "mind baggage" I have from my childhood experiences. Wouldn't a lot of people in that position still want to quit? H makes it seems like it is given to stand up for yourself, even if the cause is hopeless. I don't understand it.