Hals,

That is great!! Such a clear picture and perfectly describes where I'm at as well.

(((hugs)))

Hals,

DITTO!

Have you thought of adding columns for I will.......?

deeplyrooted

Good suggestion....I am just in a really aweful place tonight. I feel fortunate though I guess (I'm talkin myself into it) that I can recognize that it is likely just a place I am passing through and as much as I'd like to find a damn detour, I can't seem to. I am figuring that I am having to face this and pass through it in order to get to the other side...not a new concept, however, a very scary one right this moment. I've been in therapy almost 2 years and have made tremendous progress...but have been on a fast track to this "spot" for a number of months I suppose and now I must just sit in the spot for a bit until I am able to catch my breath enough to move on. That's what they tell me anyway So here I sit...alone, ready to put in a good chick flick, tear jerker, cause I think I just need to open the flood gates and let it out! So.....

I will cry
I will allow myself to feel this, whatever this may be
I will get up in the morning and do it all over again
I will make mistakes
I will give it a good effort
I will do it for ME
I will thank God for all the good in my life
I will offer up to Him all the not so good in my life
I will trust myself
I will be nice to myself
I will love myself if even for a minute today

Hals,

I'm sorry things are so rough right now. I wish I could be there with you physically so that you would know you are not alone, but since that isn't possible, keep in mind that I am sitting with you in spirit. I love chick flicks, but I likely will cry as well. As my T always says, "tears are healing". It's ok to let it out even if you don't know what "it" is.

((((Hals))))

Hi Hals, I don't think we've crossed paths before, so it's nice to meet you. I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now, but I just want to say that I think your list of "I wills" is really great and inspiring. Those are such essential things for us to do as humans, but it's so hard for so many of us. You're brave for letting yourself sit on that spot, Hals, and feel what you're feeling...it's a very tough thing to do.

Big hugs,
Kashley

STRM...you have no idea how badly I needed to hear that I am not alone and knowing that you are with me in spirit is good, cause honestly, sometimes even when I have the physical reassurance that I'm not alone, I still feel incredibly alone! So, having a sister in spirit of sorts tonight is fine by me........I haven't even started the movie and I'm crying...Thank You and Kashley...nice to meet you to and thank you for the hugs

Hi Hals, I am moved by what you have written adn I get a sesnse of how strong you are and that you have deep awareness of what is going on and I want to send you a hug - and thank you for sharing what you shared.
I am not in a brilliant place at the moment but I just wanted to say that.Safe hugs.

quote:

that it is likely just a place I am passing through

quote:

I must just sit in the spot for a bit

Hals,

I hope you are in a better place today but if not, know that you are still not alone.(((hals)))

I agree with Kashley. You are very brave to choose to sit in that spot. I am glad you know that it is not a place in which you will stay but one in which you will pass through. I can remember this is true when I sit intentionally in them but when they catch me off guard I find it much harder to remember. It is in those time that I tend to think I have entered into reality and that there is no exit. Thankfully, emotions change whether I anticipate them or not, and I am no longer wallowing in that place.

quote:

will love myself if even for a minute today

Each time you move through a spot you will make a little more room for the love you want to feel. Your list is an inspiration. Really! The fact that you will visit some painful places and plan intentionally to be kind to yourself is a HUGE endevor to me. I think I need to follow my own suggestion and write one for myself. Thanks for sharing, Hals!

deeplyrooted

thanks for all the support and kind words...I'm feeling a bit better today, but I'm trying not to get caught off gaurd. I am suprised that anyone would think what I wrote is inspirational. My T tells me all the time that I'm stronger than I give myself credit for, I still have a hard time believeing it. When I wrote this, I wasn't feeling very "inspirational", but I guess as I reread what I wrote, it is a far cry probably from what I would have wrote a few years ago! A few years ago, it probably would have sounded something like this....

Get me the hell outta here

hals

I'm glad you are feeling stronger,that's good to hear. Sending hugs and thoughts your way to help keep that feeling a little longer.

starfish