I've been angry at my parents for a long time. They were in many ways abusive throughout my childhood as well as being emotionally neglectful, self-absorbed, critical and punishing. Before they went away last summer I had honest conversations with them telling them I wanted them to stop treating me disrespectfully and telling them I was angry at them for what they did when I was a child including doing nothing after I told them I was abused (CSA).

They left for the summer and since they came back they have said nothing to me about our conversation. They have withdrawn, they don't call, they don't ask me how I am doing, they avoid talking to me one on one etc. I've been hurt and angry about it even though they are complying with my request that they stop criticizing me in the present (weight, appearance, what I do etc). It hurts that they would rather not talk to me than attempt to address my complaints. During the conversations they each separately told me how difficult it was to hear me when I was a teenager tell them I was abused and how they didn't know what to do so they did and said nothing. I told them it wasn't really fair that they left me alone as a child and teenager to deal with something they couldn't handle as adults but they didn't even say sorry instead they just explained how it was for them.

For most of sept and oct I was angry and frustrated with them and trying not to react that way and I talked about it with T. For the last couple of weeks in therapy I've been talking about my relationship with my husband. yesterday in the last 15 minutes T asked me how it was to see my mother this weekend and I said fine. He asked me whether I was angry and I said no I stayed superficial but I started crying because what he said reminded me of my husband as well as my parents. I said that and he kept going back to my mother. Why didn't I want to bring up what we talked about in June? why didn't I think it was important anymore? I told him my parents wouldn't change so i wasn't going to talk to them anymore but even though he agreed they wouldn't change he seemed to think it was important to keep talking about it (though he couldn't explain why).

By the time the hour was up I was holding my breath to avoid sobbing and wailing and he was still talking at me. Then he got up mid-sentence because time was up and said something like we will need to talk about this further. I think even though I've given up the fantasy that my parents will be different and care about the real me it doesn't stop hurting. I could cry for hours about what my parents wouldn't or couldn't give me and it doesn't change anything. Isn't there a point where I can stop grieving? Isn't it okay that I could see mother without feeling all the anger and pain? Maybe it isn't denial.

I'm so angry at T because I think he isn't happy unless I leave therapy feeling broken and hopeless. He completely ignored some of the stuff I told him about handling things better with my daughter and my in laws and focused on my mother and how angry I was at her. Do you think it is crazy or stupid that I am not angry and miserable ever time I see my parents?