Hi Tas without knowing muc about you is it hard for you to take positive feedback in board in general?

I would not have heard it as compliment probably. I would have assumed it was a lie - I have not believed it when the one I see has said I was brave about whatever.

(((TAS)))

I'm sure he meant it as a compliment too. To be the most courageous of all his clients? How awesome is that! Maybe a lot of people quit when things are ambiguous because we all know the therapy relationship is a different kind of duck and often hard to read but you went back after your most recent bout of doubt and insecurity about the relationship. You hung in there.

But, I would also have mixed feelings about it like you do. If my T said that to me - and he has made similar statements - I would think (because I'm me) that it was the only positive thing about me, the only thing he could come up with. I don't think that's how your T meant it - but just that I haven't necessarily been able to take in the positive things my T has told me about me.

Why not ask him why he thinks you are so courageous? That could lead to an interesting discussion.

hi TAS. sorry for the shortness of this, but when i read what you wrote i couldn't help but wonder if that is just a hard-fast defense mechanism you have, to deflect a compliment like that. he threw a grand compliment your way and your armor wouldn't let it in. if you take in a nice compliment like that, maybe some of your defenses will begin to lower and over time he'll get closer to you than you are comfortable with and that can be scary for some of us. maybe it's not that having courage is what is bothering you, maybe what's bothering you is that he said something meaningful to you and it touched something deep in you and you don't know how to deal with that so you deflect the nice words and keep the therapist at bay. i think i'm talking in circles so i'm going to do lights out. just my initial thoughts. it's always good to see you post, TAS. i hope things are progressing for you the way you wish, as well. please, talk with your T about all this, and do take care.

I agree with CD, it is the sort of thing I do. Anything nice comes my way, deflect.