What powerful words! They can mean so much.

My therapist told me repeatedly that I really have an engaging voice and a great sense of humor. I had never heard something so positive about my personality and really used that to push myself to form connections in my life. I hear those words every day.

"I'm proud of you"

I think T was the first person who ever said that to me.

Just this week I was complaining to T that he never tells me what to talk about or how to do therapy for the millionth time and he said "all you experience matters". It struck at the moment and now as an amazing thing that he believes that.

"How long are you going to keep banging your head against the same brick wall?"

She had a point. That actually kind of jump started me into approaching relationships differently. i.e.-- don't look for validation from people who can't or won't give it.

My T has told me a couple of times that "nothing is written in stone." This has helped me try things, even just voicing ideas, without feeling tied to it, if in the long run it doesn't fit for me. This has helped me move past a number of situations.

"I'm here"
So little and yet so new to us then when we started with T. Reminds me that sometimes just having another being in the room can make such a difference.

"I'm not leaving you"
"I'm here"
"I love you"
"You must have been so scared"
"If I was there, I would have protected you"
"Would you like a hug"

"I can handle your needs."
when I said I feel so needy, she said, "so what?"
"I'm in this with you, I'm not going anywhere."

I have HUGE insecurities about my needs and being too needy. I don't know where the balance is, so I just shut off my needs in relationships. Therapy has been eye opening. My T has been so consistent and steady in accepting me and my needs (which I'm showing a little more). It feels so vulnerable..the most vulnerable I've ever been. But her saying she can handle my needs and her reassurance has been so helpful...even if I need her to be a broken record and repeat that ALL THE TIME.

"I love you"
"I'm so proud of you"
"I ain't going anywhere"
"You can do it"

I swear she probably tells me she's proud of me almost every time I meet with her and each time it creates this new and special meaning. My T is the best.

“Can you trust that I am truly OK with you not being able to talk?”
“I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
“It would devastate me if you killed yourself.”
“If I had been around back then, I would have protected you.”
“I was looking at my cat the other day, and she made me think of you.”

<3 Draggers.

Yes, "it's not your fault"
"At some point, it becomes a choice" (listening to negative messages)
"This is real, it's very real" (feelings I am experiencing in relation to a 'hidden' situation)
"We will figure it out together."

"you've come so far"
I'm pretty certain this applies to many of us and it's so validating, heart warming and gut busting at the same time!
s bxxx

aww Daggers. You are so lovely and this post was so lovely too. It made me remember other things that my T has said that have been sweet or supportive or loving. Thanks for this reminder.

Draggers, I wanted to echo Erica and thank you for this thread. Great idea as it is a good reminder for us. It also is a really good way to keep members on the forum connected. I liked it. Thanks.

Draggers! That was so sweet of you to say all those nice things. Thank you for your support and encouragement.

"There is hope"

....when she says nothing but just looks at me and I know she knows and accepts me.

(Drags)

You made me shed a tear! Your words mean so much. I just have a very happy feeling inside...wow just yeah thank you!

- Just looks at me with respect and acceptance.. his silence somehow says more than words ever could..
"youre really brave"
"Nothing is black and white, there are a million shades of grey.."
"I'm proud of you."
"Can you believe that I care about you?"
"Are you able to talk about it?"
"You go where few people are willing to go"
"I will endeavor to never abandon you.."

but we have started termination, I only have another few months left with him..

Welcome Joanna. I'm sorry you are having to terminate with a T that sounds wonderful. Do you feel like sharing the circumstances?

My T says lots of wonderful things like:

You are not alone
We can handle anything together
I like and enjoy you
I care about you
You can come as long as you want to
And that LOOK which says so much

and lots of other things that help me to trust him.

TN

Hi, True North (and everyone else...)

I've been with my therapist for almost 4 years now. I do not suffer from any long term condition such as depression, I've just had difficult life circumstances. I started therapy in a last-ditch effort to save my marriage. My husband is an addict which caused us a lot of grief and was undiagnosed at the time. I also grew up in an emotionally abusive home and was also sexually abused as a teenager. Throw it all in and my life was on the verge of falling apart..

I hated my therapist in the beginning (You could say I hated all men...) and for the first six months I just went through the motions. Then transference hit me out of the blue - suddenly - and caught me by surprise. The next three years were excruciatingly difficult and beautiful. He dealt with my feelings for him wonderfully - so understanding and accepting yet keeping firm boundaries.

My therapist brought up termination about 2 months ago from something I threw in. He very gently suggested it, saying that whilst I might never want to end therapy, my subconscious mind would. I was, understandably, devastated. But logically I knew that he would have to be the one to end; I never could, I'm too bound to him. And termination has been beautiful in its own right - We have "tied up some loose ends", sorted out all the guilt feelings I have associated with wanting him, and dealt with the crushing abandonment and its associated feelings termination brought up.

So yes, it had to happen. And I still have another 6 months to wind down. It's giving me an extra push to really say things and go places I probably wouldn't if I wouldn't be ending with him.

On the plus side, my marriage is doing better than I have ever thought possible. We are both in a twelve step support group to help us with the addiction and I have wonderful friends over there as well. So yes, every cloud definitely has a silver lining..

Thanks
Joanna

My T2 once said, "If it weren't for your trauma, we would have never met." That really made me think...I wouldn't have traded knowing him for anything in the world.

"Why do you get so hung up on being normal? According to the dictionary, 'normal' is just a statistical mean."

"I won't touch you physically, but I do hope to touch you emotionally." (Boy, did he ever.)

"I honor you. Not just respect and appreciate you, but honor you."

"You're going to have a fantastic life."

It's good to be here.

some of this is painful cos they are things I so wanted T1 to say ...maybe I should compile a list and send her it! ie here's what you should have done. lol

Thanks Draggers...I think we have alot in common! It's so good to find this forum and read that you're not alone. That's one thing about the way trauma--it can make you feel like you're alone. Luckily, with this wonderful forum of people and your T, you don't feel that way anymore.

LJB

An NHS therapist I worked with used to suddenly say

'god, you are bright' it still comes to mind sometimes. He once said he thought I must be reading psych books, but realised I was just figuring it out for myself!!! lol. I do read psych books now as I'm studying for a psychology degree!

My current T, a few weeks back, during the sitting on the floor holding me time said:

'I want to go back in time, wrap little 'SB' up and run off with her and keep her safe' It was the first time anyone had ever said they wished they could rescue me, it was really moving and gentle. I wish she could have really done that - but at least someone in the universe wants to.

sb

((( LBJ))) That is so cool what your T said: "If it weren't for your Trauma" both of you would have never met. That's really heartwarming, and a very caring thing to say.
(((AFFINITY)))Your T sounds really wonderfully emotionally strong toward you saying "I honor you", and "I won't physically touch you, but I do hope to emotionally touch you". Those things sound so genuine and very healing. All very powerful indeed.

thanks for the hug draggers

Thanks, eme. It helps to be reminded sometimes that my T really does care. Especially on days like today when I don't want to trust him.

Other good things he's said: "You have an absolute right to your own body" and "There is a big difference between being wanted and being taken."