Has any of your therapists ever told you that it will get worse before it gets better when you first started therapy?
Has this been true to your experience? Can you have true, successful therapy any other way?
T.
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My T didn't say that at the beginning, but a bunch of people on here and my H said that all the time. T did say it maybe once or twice several months in. I'd say, yeah, it got worse for a long time before it started getting better. Then, there are periods when it started getting worse again. But, in the case of having dissociated so much and never really touched the pain and grief and fear that was there, there was no way to actually address those things without letting myself feel them...which certainly felt much worse than being dissociated/numb, yet highly functional.
Yakusoku:
I still opt for being disassociated/numb rather than feeling. Last week I even asked the therapist if there was any way that I could get through this without feeling and he plainly said, "No."
Thank you for your reply
and I hope you are in the 'better' stretch of your journey.
T.
I still opt for being disassociated/numb rather than feeling. Last week I even asked the therapist if there was any way that I could get through this without feeling and he plainly said, "No."
Thank you for your reply
and I hope you are in the 'better' stretch of your journey.T.
My T told me the first day 
(and reminded me often)
and well, when I saw my T there wasn't much lower I could go. But emotionally... that's what the 'lower' is about. Feeling more (being less dissociated or cut off or whatever), being more aware, etc is what makes it worse.
(and reminded me often)and well, when I saw my T there wasn't much lower I could go. But emotionally... that's what the 'lower' is about. Feeling more (being less dissociated or cut off or whatever), being more aware, etc is what makes it worse.
TAS,
I've lost track of how many times my T has said it gets worse before it gets better.
Here's the thing, you go into therapy and usually start to let out things and feel things that you have long denied or surpressed. The reason we do that is because we don't have the capacity or resources to deal with the things we've pushed away. So we start to pull apart those defenses and become conscious of what we've denied, but have not yet had a chance to learn healthier ways to deal with what is coming up. There's a reason we stayed away from this stuff, it was really painful. So of course, when we start to let it in, it hurts.
All that said, you should at least be getting some relief from sessions, even if it doesn't last long. If actually seeing your therapist never helps you might want to consider that you don't have a good match.
AG
I've lost track of how many times my T has said it gets worse before it gets better.
Here's the thing, you go into therapy and usually start to let out things and feel things that you have long denied or surpressed. The reason we do that is because we don't have the capacity or resources to deal with the things we've pushed away. So we start to pull apart those defenses and become conscious of what we've denied, but have not yet had a chance to learn healthier ways to deal with what is coming up. There's a reason we stayed away from this stuff, it was really painful. So of course, when we start to let it in, it hurts.
All that said, you should at least be getting some relief from sessions, even if it doesn't last long. If actually seeing your therapist never helps you might want to consider that you don't have a good match.
AG
Yup. Definitely gets worse before it gets better. In addition to that, T also often reminds me that the only way out is through.... at least T is going through it with me, otherwise I think I'd have given up this journey long ago!
R2G,
Reminds me of one of my favorite Winston Churchhill quotes (there are SO many, that man was eminently quotable!):
Good to see you about the place again!
AG
Reminds me of one of my favorite Winston Churchhill quotes (there are SO many, that man was eminently quotable!):
quote:If you're going through hell, keep going.
Good to see you about the place again!
AG
Love that Churchill quote!
And it's good to be back, it's hard to stay away from here for too long!
And it's good to be back, it's hard to stay away from here for too long!
quote:its always ok to not respond
good advise, xoxo. not just that, but your entire post.
for me, it did get worse before it got better, in large part because of transference. it's gotten better, but in all honesty i expect it to get worse again. i think it's like a roller-coaster ride. you're trying to change life-long habits ... it's not going to be easy and it's not going to be over-night. TAS, be gentle with yourself.
XOXO,
When I was referencing does it get better before it gets worse...I was speaking of having to wade through past trauma, memories, feelings that can be so gut wrenching that you feel like you really would like to disappear. I think those things are put aside for a reason, until they come back and slap you in the face.
The therapist did say that it would get worse before it got better...with that said, it seems to be the case. Not because it was planned that way but I seem to have so many high expectations of myself and seem to be failing.
If my therapist would have told me up front how difficult this would be, I would have said, "I ain't doin' this"
Thanks for all your kind words. I really appreciate it.
T.
When I was referencing does it get better before it gets worse...I was speaking of having to wade through past trauma, memories, feelings that can be so gut wrenching that you feel like you really would like to disappear. I think those things are put aside for a reason, until they come back and slap you in the face.
The therapist did say that it would get worse before it got better...with that said, it seems to be the case. Not because it was planned that way but I seem to have so many high expectations of myself and seem to be failing.
If my therapist would have told me up front how difficult this would be, I would have said, "I ain't doin' this"
Thanks for all your kind words. I really appreciate it.
T.
TAS, hang in there. i think they ARE put aside for a reason, and i think it has alot to do with the internal family systems stuff discussed in a previous stream. and they DO come back and slap you in the face.
i don't think you're failing. i think therapy is hard work, and it sounds like you're in it. it IS scary, but i believe it's good work. good luck on your journey!
i don't think you're failing. i think therapy is hard work, and it sounds like you're in it. it IS scary, but i believe it's good work. good luck on your journey!
YES ~ and I didn't believe her....then didn't want to believe her....then believed her and asked how long....now trying to accept it takes a while....