I'm sorry she didn't realize how long it had been. I'm not sure I would pissed off, but I probably would be hurt a little. I know for me that I often underestimate how long I've been doing something so perhaps it is just that. I doubt that it is a reflection on your relationship as much as just not thinking it through.

Darock,

That is totally the type of thing I would be hurt about. I tend to be very precise in my memory and sometimes have a hard time understanding that other's don't have as good ability to recall information such as dates, etc. I cannot tell you how many arguments I've had with my mother that stem from her inability to tell a story from the past and get the details correct; specifically the dates. I am astonished at her inaccuracy and even moreso by her insistence that she is correct in her errors.

anyway, I think it is safe to say that your T is not one of those people who is good with dates and even worse, she falls into the category of people who insists that their version of events is the correct version without taking time to check the facts. So, yeah, I would be pissed. But I think its important to realize that her inaccuracy stems from a flaw within herself and not a flaw in your relationship with her. I know its easier said than done, but try not to take this personally.

Hi Da Rock,

Just wanted to say hi. That would probably hurt me too but it would probably hurt me more if she thought I'd been seeing her for 10 years instead of 6, as if the time had really been dragging. It sounds like the time has flown in her mind because you are so delightful!!! Just my opinion!!!

((((HUGS))))

Liese

Hi again Da Rock,

Sorry I didn't mean to make light or minimize your feelings in my last post so I hope no offense taken. I'm wondering if you question her caring? As in, does she really genuinely care about you?

thanks everyone. i think i am hurt and angry because there are other issues in the therapy causing me to become upset.

I can understand your feelings, DR. I've had a couple of recent situations with my T that have me wondering about her. One was that she took a week off and never told me she was going to be taking that week off. I went for my regularly scheduled appointment only to find her office locked up tight. I waited a few minutes and then called her and left a message. I then began to worry about her - that something must have happened to her. I was left a message the next day, telling me that she out for the week and I could see her on my next scheduled appt. When I went to that appointment, I reiterated a conversation we had had at our last visit and told her that she never told me she was going to be closed the following week. She matter-of-factly told me that she had told me she was taking the week off...and that was that. No room for the possibility that perhaps she could have been mistataken, no apology. Trust me, if she had told me she was taking the week off, I certainly would have remembered that. I'm still torqued over that.

Then, it was my turn to be away. I told her I was not going to be in on my next scheduled visit and we talked about where I was going, why I was going and how I was going (even to the point of me talking about my fear of flying). You can only guess what happened. I rec'd a call while away on my usual appointment day, wondering where I was. I couldn't get back to her due to some technical issues but hoped she would realize at some point that I was not going to be there. After all, she had even made a note in my chart the minute I told her I was going to be away for that appointment. On the following appointment, I asked her if she did not remember that I told her I'd be away or the conversation we had surrounding my travels or even the fact that she had stopped and made a notation in my chart? Made me wonder exactly how much impact I even have. I've lived a lifetime of feeling like I blend into the wallpaper and this sort of stuff doesn't help me much.

da rock. my two cents. sometimes it is the little things that alert us to the bigger picture.

the detail of the confusion is less key than the 'i'm right, you're wrong' attitude of the t...one could at least say, hmmm, i'll have to look...

once i finally said to a t 'oh, i get it, you are right and i am wrong, story of my life, wonder why it took me so long to clue in here'...

i hate that attitude from a professional, let alone a t.

i understand what you say, that this just underlines other issues. may be a blessing.

my two cents. and, i DO understand your irritation.

unfortunately, t's don't get much slack...and really, they shouldn't for this type thing. i think.

jill