You don't sound like a baby at all, Debbye. Why does your former teacher want to bring his wife to a session with you? Your T won't let them gang up on you. And it should all be on your terms. If you don't have any problem with his wife, can you insist that just he come to the session? That way you won't have the added worry of them piling everything on you. I also think that it sounds like he could have handled his reply email a little better. Will you have another session with your T by yourself? Maybe that will help you think about what you want to do - you can also talk to your T about your fears of being ganged up on.

Well, they're a team and she teaches too, so I guess he wants her there even though I only wrote to him. My T doesn't know he wrote back yet since I don't see him till Wednesday. You're right, I guess I could talk to him (my T) about what would happen if my Sunday school teacher did come. I just feel like it's a bad idea because I don't want my T to hate me, he's the only one I have on my side right now.

I even know where my fear comes from but that knowledge isn't helping!! My parents were the type who would send me to my room as punishment for HOURS and then when I was finally allowed out, they would still act hostile and unloving and I suffered till they stopped. So I feel like if my teachers go in and talk with me and my T, and things turn out horrible and everyone ends up hating me, it's going to feel like forever till they like me again (and I will worry that they won't ever like me again). My sister was affected by my parents too, except while I'm desperate to reconnect with someone after they're angry with me, my sister will sever all communication with someone after a fight and she doesn't even care.

Hi, dragonfly, thanks for the reminder to update about this. I told my T about my teacher's email yesterday and my T seemed angry with him because we've been working in therapy on taking risks and I did take a risk writing that guy and it turned out bad! My T had told me a while back that I felt safer assuming people think the worst of me rather than taking a risk to find out if that's truly what they think, so I bet he feels bad that my teacher couldn't at least have said yes of course I still care about you. I mean, if someone I cared about didn't think I cared about them, it would really concern me and I'd make sure they knew I really did care!

Last night I emailed my T and told him if he wanted to talk to my teacher without me there, I could sign a waiver but that it would just torment me having my teacher ruin my safe place (T's office) if I had to be there, so I don't know if he will write me back or just wait till my session next week to talk about it some more. For now I don't think I have to worry that my T won't be on my side because he did sound angry with my teacher and he never gave an opinion if he thought they should go to a session with me, so I think he's looking out for me still.

Debbye,

I'm glad that your T seems to be on your side with this. I completely agree with what he said. Personally, I wouldn't sign a waiver to let them talk. It sounds like your teacher is the one with the problem.

I'm sorry this has been so upsetting for you.