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7 replies

Wow, He hugged me!

M masimoMember
I must say if I hadn't joined this forum recently and started reading about transference,
physical relationships with T and such that I would have been shocked yesterday. After my session, my T were basically saying goodbye as he is leaving for a 5 week trek in the Himalayas. He knew I was experiencing some fear about his leaving. Anyway, on my way out the door, he said, "Could I take the liberty of asking for a hug?" I said sure, gave him a hug and whispered, "stay safe". then I left.
Im not sure if the hug was for my sake, I actually think it was for both of us. But he asked me!! I was floored. And it felt so comforting, like I was hugging a familiar friend. Boundaries crossed? I will feel is hug the whole time he is gone. Probably the intent on his part.
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mtfmtfMember
(((((lizzygirl)))))

That hug was for both of you. My T gives me a hug after every session, and I'm realizing that it's for both of us, and while it feels weird and at first I was where you are at today, I can remember her hug when I am especially lonely and it helps me know she's 'there', even if only in spirit. Hang in there. You really are going to be alright. Smiler Keep posting here, as we're here to support you. The next five weeks won't be easy for you, but we'll do our best to support you how we can! ((((HUGS))))

MTF
mtfmtfMember
quote:
Originally posted by monte:
'Ppfft'...the sound echoing across the vastness of the Pacific Ocean as Monte spits her dummy cos some people get hugs from their Ts while she doesn't.


Frowner Sorry, Monte. Not that it will help, but here's a hug from me. ((((((MONTE)))))). I know that you will get to where you need to go with your T, and that one day you will get that hug and that it will feel so good for you both to get there. Don't get discouraged!! Keep working toward your goal! Smiler

MTF
Attachment GirlAttachment GirlAdmin
Hi Monte,
Sorry I know how you feel as my T has a no-hug ever across the board policy and I know it can be hard hearing about other people getting them.

Lizzygirl,
I am glad you got the hug though and you felt free to talk about it here. I think it was very sensitive of your T to know you would need something extra to hang onto through that long a break. I can hear how scared you are about how hard the break will be to get through and it's important that you use whatever resources you can to get through it. Please keep coming here and talk about how you're feeling; we understand and although being heard won't make it all go away, it will help you bear up under the pain and stress.

AG
amazonamazonMember
Monte, oh yes, the code of ethics contract... I suppose he has to oblige to some insurance policy and therefore has not much choice... but I hope with the right reason, right situation he would offer physical comfort.

I know that my T was reading I. Yalom who advises to touch patients/clients. He refused to hug me recently, and I felt devasted. However he said it doesn't mean that he will never ever hug me again. I think he has his own agenda, that I don't understand. It's quite painfull at times, but we'll see...

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