BG that was a beautiful post and it touched me. I think it hits home with me because I am very much now as you describe that you were. When my T gives me compliments I think, yeah you are just trying to win me over or I pay you to say this or whatever... and yes, roll my eyes. My T, bless him, does not stop with them even though he knows I struggle to take it in. He once said to me "I think you find it difficult to believe that you are lovable". I said to him that I'm not even close to being that and he just does not know me well enough yet. And other times when he says something nice to me and I gloss over it he makes me come back to it and asks me if I can hear him and if I can take that in and acknowledge it. He does not allow me to get away with much LOL.

Very much on the theme of what your T said, he also once told me that when he tells me how he feels about me and I brush it off or refuse it then it's like refusing a gift that he is trying to give me. He asked me how I would feel when I gave him those 2 gifts I have given him (over the past year) if he had acted the same way and refused them or just brushed them off? He really made me think about that and I'm working towards being more mindful of these things... but it's still hard to take in the nice things and the care he offers.

It could be that I've learned to avoid any compliments because my mother would always say something fairly nice followed by something critical or disparaging. Things like, your hair looks nice BUT... you should curl it, straighten it, cut it... blah blah ...

Anyway BG, I'm so glad your health is better and nothing serious and how wonderful that your dh stepped up and that you allowed the care to flow into you. You have come a long way and I'm so pleased that you were able to talk about this with your (male) T and that he was so supportive and understanding. He's a gem.

Thank you for sharing.

Hugs
TN

((((BG)))) Thank you so much for sharing. I'm glad you have your DH and your T by your side and are learning to receive and really take in what they have to offer you, what you have always been most deserving of.

BG,

thank you for sharing the story of this session. It gives me a lot of hope that you are able to take in the care of your T. How long have you been seeing your T again. I've been seeing mine for over three years but only recently have I been arguing with him that he doesn't care for me or like me. I think at the beginning I assumed and accepted that he didn't care as normal so why talk about it. I've been really struggling with whether to stay in therapy and keep having the conversation/argument about care so it is inspiring to me to hear that you have made progress and can accept something you couldn't accept before.

This is such an interesting topic, BG. Thank you for writing about it. One thing I just realized my T does is that she tricks me into accepting compliments by slipping them in while she is making some kind of larger point. I don't tend to notice it was a compliment until later!

I remember when I was dating my DH, I had to deliberately make a decision that is was OK for me to accept his care, even though it was unfamiliar and pretty hard to do sometimes. I guess that made it faster and easier to accept it from my T, but it still took a couple months.

That IS inspiring to hear BG, thank you for sharing.

starfishy