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I already mailed my mom a card. It was quite hard to find a generic one that wasn't full of gushy sentiments about how wonderful she is. I'll probably call her briefly also.
I've been telling myself for a while that I would do something for ME this mother's day to celebrate my good efforts at self-parenting. Since I'm still recovering from being sick, maybe I'll just get myself some flowers or something. Hmm.
I've been telling myself for a while that I would do something for ME this mother's day to celebrate my good efforts at self-parenting. Since I'm still recovering from being sick, maybe I'll just get myself some flowers or something. Hmm.
We went out for breakfast today to beat the crowds. I hope this doesn't sound awful of me but I don't think I've given my own mother a card or call ever since I myself became a mother. My husband said he would clean the carpet for me tomorrow as a present. (I've been cleaning up after his incontinent elderly dog for months so this actually is a GREAT gift, LOL.) I really don't like having a fuss over me because all the other days of the year my kids and husband are critical of me, so it makes me sad reading how I'm such a wonderful mother. (CTL, maybe that's why your mother acts like that too - she thinks she doesn't deserve it? Just a thought maybe.)
~D.
~D.
Well, H let me sleep in this morning and knowing that he's not a think ahead guy, I told him I was considering that my mother's day present, because he hasn't been able to do let me do that in a while due to a medical issue of his own and I REALLY needed it. 
He might also cook me something tomorrow, dunno. Usually, it is just a nice day of me not having to do absolutely anything. If I wanted something organized or particular, yeah, I'd have to basically plan it myself, but I don't. I just want to be given the space to relax a little, a little more help with Boo for the day. That is plenty.
We are going to one of H's little sisters' homes for dinner tonight to see his mom.
Usually, since my adulthood, I would go see my mom play one of her gigs, but the closest one is 45 minutes each way. H doesn't want to go that far and considering seeing her has made my driving unsafe in the recent past, I'm not inclined to take Boo and go on my own. I feel bad, though. Despite being a major factor in why I am how I am, she's still my mom, gave birth to me, tried to raise me (though, yeah, I mostly did it myself) and she's working all day, not seeing her family, like every other holiday. I would usually go see her play, bring her some flowers, a card, balloons (she likes demonstrative stuff). I don't feel connected, really, but she always seems to enjoy the effort, introducing her kids to her "groupies," and I do actually like seeing her play, as she is an amazing musician and singer. I just wish I didn't get coopted into her "look at me" moments when there. Boo has been asking to see her too since a family birthday party and I see no reason to damage my daughter's chance at a relationship, just because that ship has sailed for me...ugh, that was a really complicated answer and kind of a downer, sorry. I hate Mother's Day. Probably kind of why I prefer to celebrate by just relaxing with my family than make a big fuss.
He might also cook me something tomorrow, dunno. Usually, it is just a nice day of me not having to do absolutely anything. If I wanted something organized or particular, yeah, I'd have to basically plan it myself, but I don't. I just want to be given the space to relax a little, a little more help with Boo for the day. That is plenty.We are going to one of H's little sisters' homes for dinner tonight to see his mom.
Usually, since my adulthood, I would go see my mom play one of her gigs, but the closest one is 45 minutes each way. H doesn't want to go that far and considering seeing her has made my driving unsafe in the recent past, I'm not inclined to take Boo and go on my own. I feel bad, though. Despite being a major factor in why I am how I am, she's still my mom, gave birth to me, tried to raise me (though, yeah, I mostly did it myself) and she's working all day, not seeing her family, like every other holiday. I would usually go see her play, bring her some flowers, a card, balloons (she likes demonstrative stuff). I don't feel connected, really, but she always seems to enjoy the effort, introducing her kids to her "groupies," and I do actually like seeing her play, as she is an amazing musician and singer. I just wish I didn't get coopted into her "look at me" moments when there. Boo has been asking to see her too since a family birthday party and I see no reason to damage my daughter's chance at a relationship, just because that ship has sailed for me...ugh, that was a really complicated answer and kind of a downer, sorry. I hate Mother's Day. Probably kind of why I prefer to celebrate by just relaxing with my family than make a big fuss.
H told me and I quote, "I was thinking of getting you a new laptop for mother's day, but unfortunately that idea got cancelled because of the storm and the roof repairs."
And I said, "Oh, that's okay. It was a sweet thought."
LOL. I might call my mom and tell her happy mother's day if I remember. To tell you the truth I don't put a lot of stock in this holiday. It's too much about commercially fed obligation and ill fitting cliches, so normally I mostly ignore it. I think Hallmark and florists are the main beneficiaries. (Although maybe you guys think I am saying this because I have sour grapes about the lap top. . . I don't really think that's it.)
That said, Happy Mother's Day to all parents, pet parents, and self parents on the board!
And I said, "Oh, that's okay. It was a sweet thought."
LOL. I might call my mom and tell her happy mother's day if I remember. To tell you the truth I don't put a lot of stock in this holiday. It's too much about commercially fed obligation and ill fitting cliches, so normally I mostly ignore it. I think Hallmark and florists are the main beneficiaries. (Although maybe you guys think I am saying this because I have sour grapes about the lap top. . . I don't really think that's it.)
That said, Happy Mother's Day to all parents, pet parents, and self parents on the board!
((BG)) I'm so glad you have something planned for yourself... a movie... and you're right Moms do usually plan their own stuff at least the good ones I know!
I sent my Mom a card, and will try to call early hoping she has not been drinking too much by then. I feel so much guilt... I wish I had had more time this week to talk about this stuff because I feel immense guilt that she will be alone... that she won't be celebrated the way I wish I could celebrate her... that I couldn't send her a mushy card.... that we will never have the relationship where I can take care of her the way I want and she cannot take care of me the way I wish she could or had.
((BG)) I hope you do have a relaxing mother's day. Did you mention what movie you are going to see?? Which one?
I sent my Mom a card, and will try to call early hoping she has not been drinking too much by then. I feel so much guilt... I wish I had had more time this week to talk about this stuff because I feel immense guilt that she will be alone... that she won't be celebrated the way I wish I could celebrate her... that I couldn't send her a mushy card.... that we will never have the relationship where I can take care of her the way I want and she cannot take care of me the way I wish she could or had.
((BG)) I hope you do have a relaxing mother's day. Did you mention what movie you are going to see?? Which one?
This is the first year in a long time that this week hasn't been horrible. I haven't made any plans yet, but likely we will get takeout and just hang out at home. I might plant some flowers. I don't have a relationship with my mother at all and that usually causes me a good deal of pain on Mother's Day, but this year feels different for some reason.
I hope all of you have a good mother's day and can spend it in a way that feels right to you!
I hope all of you have a good mother's day and can spend it in a way that feels right to you!
BG,
Thanks for starting this thread, it is a complicated holiday. BLT, I have seriously thought of starting a card company which makes cards for dysfunctional families. Every year I have to embark on a strenuous card that says things I would actually say which pretty much consists of "I love you" and "I hope you have a nice day." I will probably call as I didn't on her birthday (we speak very infrequently these days).
As for what I am doing I'll be making the five hour drive back home from my daughter's college after driving out today and picking up her stuff today (alone because my DH is still on OT and had to work today. He said this is the first Saturday he hasn't minded so much. ). Strangely enough, it's kind of perfect. I was reflecting on the drive out (bliss five hours alone in the car with MY music cranked and singly loudly with no one to hear and therefore not complain 
) that after my first semester at college I was left to fend for myself to get my stuff and myself back and forth to school (and I had to move out of the dorm at the end of every semester 
). At the time I didn't think much of it, I was used to coping on my own, but it hit e that no way would I leave y girls' to handle this alone. So I a going to enjoy the ride home reflecting on the fact that I was blessed with the resources and healing that allowed me to be a better mom.
And lest I sound like a saint, we're doing a makeup mother's day on vacation at Disney World in two weeks!
Happy Mother's Day to all!
AG
Thanks for starting this thread, it is a complicated holiday. BLT, I have seriously thought of starting a card company which makes cards for dysfunctional families. Every year I have to embark on a strenuous card that says things I would actually say which pretty much consists of "I love you" and "I hope you have a nice day." I will probably call as I didn't on her birthday (we speak very infrequently these days).
As for what I am doing
I'll be making the five hour drive back home from my daughter's college after driving out today and picking up her stuff today (alone because my DH is still on OT and had to work today. He said this is the first Saturday he hasn't minded so much. ). Strangely enough, it's kind of perfect. I was reflecting on the drive out (bliss five hours alone in the car with MY music cranked and singly loudly with no one to hear and therefore not complain ) that after my first semester at college I was left to fend for myself to get my stuff and myself back and forth to school (and I had to move out of the dorm at the end of every semester ). At the time I didn't think much of it, I was used to coping on my own, but it hit e that no way would I leave y girls' to handle this alone. So I a going to enjoy the ride home reflecting on the fact that I was blessed with the resources and healing that allowed me to be a better mom.And lest I sound like a saint, we're doing a makeup mother's day on vacation at Disney World in two weeks!
Happy Mother's Day to all!
AG
Monte, I'll be thinking of you.
My mom is deceased. The last mother's day with her consisted of us stuck in traffic for 3 hours and when we finally made it to the assisted living where she was waiting for us, she was pretty mad at us. I was so stressed out I was banging my fist on the dashboard before we got there and then I had to hear complaints. I tell myself she was not in good shape then (alzheimers). We did have a nice dinner out with my sister and her family as well. The kids were younger and cute and made the day special.
Tomorrow...I will just pamper myself. Going to get my hair done and then off to do some shopping. My dh and son will make me both breakfast and dinner. My dh is a fabulous cook so I know it will be good. If it's nice we will eat outside and enjoy the weather. A nice relaxing day before going back to work on Monday.
I wish all of you who are mom's a very happy day and know how special you all are because you are working so hard to be the kind of mom you never had and that your own children deserve.
Hugs
TN
My mom is deceased. The last mother's day with her consisted of us stuck in traffic for 3 hours and when we finally made it to the assisted living where she was waiting for us, she was pretty mad at us. I was so stressed out I was banging my fist on the dashboard before we got there and then I had to hear complaints. I tell myself she was not in good shape then (alzheimers). We did have a nice dinner out with my sister and her family as well. The kids were younger and cute and made the day special.
Tomorrow...I will just pamper myself. Going to get my hair done and then off to do some shopping. My dh and son will make me both breakfast and dinner. My dh is a fabulous cook so I know it will be good. If it's nice we will eat outside and enjoy the weather. A nice relaxing day before going back to work on Monday.
I wish all of you who are mom's a very happy day and know how special you all are because you are working so hard to be the kind of mom you never had and that your own children deserve.
Hugs
TN
Great thread. I thought I posted on it last night but see my post isn't here. I really like the acknowledgment of what is hard about the day but still a determination to enjoy it at least a little. I'm having a little quiet time right now which is what I wanted. My heart goes out to everyone struggling with loss today.
Liese
Liese
quote:Already, big hugs from my boys, homemade cards and flowers and a special breakfast. All wonderful.
Hey, BG... I got the same this morning. And I got to sleep a little bit late. Such luxury.
I hope you and everyone else here manages to find that ray of sunshine in the day.
Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's here.
TN
Happy Mother's Day to a bunch of great moms on here!
Feeling incredibly guilty about not planning on seeing my mom play.
Feeling incredibly guilty about not planning on seeing my mom play.
So many great moms here. Happy Mother's Day to all!
Hopeful
Hopeful
I never really miss my mom, just the thought of having one, but today, I really miss her...She died when I was 12. RIP mom!!
My family didn't even bother to do anything.. sucks even more
My family didn't even bother to do anything.. sucks even more
((((((scattered))))) x
Happy Mothers Day to all you wonderful mamas on here! I'm kinda bummed this is the 2nd year in a row that I couldn't be with my mom on her birthday or mothers day :/ but I'll see her in a few days so it sort of makes up for it. Hope all you moms have a great day!
Hi everyone!
I posted on Yaku's other thread and have copied my own post because it is probably more appropriate to be posted on here....
As for what I did on Mothers day - Spent the day with H and children, they made me breakfast, and home made cards, then we spent the day outdoors in the autumn colours having fun. Called my mother and mother in-law later and wished them for their mothers day. Simple things that make a difference!
AG, I like the fact that you acknowledge that your mother may not have been perfect but that you try your best to change the things that you can, to make your childrens lives that much better, and your relationship with them more fulfilling.
To all the mothers out there that try their best HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!
To the people like Scattered whose families have not done anything special for them, you need to change that so that you do not allow those attitudes to continue down the line. Show your children while they are young about the importance of caring and appreciation. My H never used to do anything for his mother - not on mothers day or even birthdays, I changed that, and while we did live close by we always did something special for his parents - not just on those marked occassions but on many occassions. Today I have a wonderful relationship with my mother in-law and she is always appreciative of the endless phone calls, childrens home made cards, photos and sentimental memorabilia we send her. We can't always be there physically, but we do what we can, and most of all she knows she is appreciated and loved.
It is never too late to change.
I posted on Yaku's other thread and have copied my own post because it is probably more appropriate to be posted on here....
quote:I know there are people who have had parents (both mothers and fathers) who have not necessarily done the best jobs out there at being a parent, but in some cases (probably the majority, but granted not in all), I think we need to cut them some slack. There is no book on parenting, they too may have had issues growing up or perhaps had to struggle through things like depression with little to no acknowledgement or help for their situation. If I look at myself, I am doing the best job I know how to do. I know I am making mistakes here and there along the way, and I am sure I am making mistakes that I am not even aware of, but I'd hate for my children to not want to acknowledge me one day, because I may not have been the perfect mother. We all have a life path to follow, some people just have a more challenging life path.
Be kind to your parents (within reason - and depending on your situation), because one day I'm sure we would all like our children to be kind to us. I don't live close to my family and there is nothing that I would want more than to be able to have spent Mothers day with my mother. She made mistakes, but she tried her best and for that I am grateful.
Happy Mothers Day to all the imperfect mothers out there who try their best anyway!
As for what I did on Mothers day - Spent the day with H and children, they made me breakfast, and home made cards, then we spent the day outdoors in the autumn colours having fun. Called my mother and mother in-law later and wished them for their mothers day. Simple things that make a difference!
AG, I like the fact that you acknowledge that your mother may not have been perfect but that you try your best to change the things that you can, to make your childrens lives that much better, and your relationship with them more fulfilling.
To all the mothers out there that try their best HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!
To the people like Scattered whose families have not done anything special for them, you need to change that so that you do not allow those attitudes to continue down the line. Show your children while they are young about the importance of caring and appreciation. My H never used to do anything for his mother - not on mothers day or even birthdays, I changed that, and while we did live close by we always did something special for his parents - not just on those marked occassions but on many occassions. Today I have a wonderful relationship with my mother in-law and she is always appreciative of the endless phone calls, childrens home made cards, photos and sentimental memorabilia we send her. We can't always be there physically, but we do what we can, and most of all she knows she is appreciated and loved.
It is never too late to change.
Happy Mother's Day mom's out there
I'm just about to call my Mom... crossing my fingers for something both brief and sober...
I'm just about to call my Mom... crossing my fingers for something both brief and sober...
Mother's Day always seems a bit of a chore for me - I kind of endure it...
What I liked yesterday is that I am not expected to get up and get breakfast, or make myself a cup of tea or clean up. I can sit and relax and watch the kids and hubby do it. It is hard not to get up and pitch in, but I don't have to. That bit I liked......
What I liked yesterday is that I am not expected to get up and get breakfast, or make myself a cup of tea or clean up. I can sit and relax and watch the kids and hubby do it. It is hard not to get up and pitch in, but I don't have to. That bit I liked......
(((Cat))) Sending good thoughts for your call!!!
I didn't have to do anything all day except I did hang up my H's clothes because I enjoy it. He cleaned the carpet and made dinner, and I got two cards and some earrings from my kids and watched two movies on TV uninterrupted , and my T even texted me happy mother's day (even though I'm not his mom). My H called his mother and I figured if he could do it, I could, so I did. There was only instance of her making an exasperated sigh and one time where she made excuses for someone who hurt me, but for the most part she sounded surprised to hear from me so I guess that was good. ~D.
, and my T even texted me happy mother's day (even though I'm not his mom). My H called his mother and I figured if he could do it, I could, so I did. There was only instance of her making an exasperated sigh and one time where she made excuses for someone who hurt me, but for the most part she sounded surprised to hear from me so I guess that was good. ~D.