((Ms. Control))

I am not sure if what helps me would be useful for you, since dissociation and anxiety cover such a large spectrum. I was about to say I think I'm at the milder end, but then again, my functioning isn't always so great. It's difficult to judge one's own experience.

Anyway, bringing a thermos of hot tea to therapy helps me to stay present and to slow down racing thoughts and the anxiety response. Sipping the tea, or gently and unobtrusively inhaling it, or even just cupping the warm thermos in my hands, can work to help keep me grounded.

T also has little eggs of silly putty around, and hand exercise balls. If I'm not holding my thermos I'm generally occupied with one of those, or at least stroking a throw pillow.

Hi Ms. Control... I occasionally take anxiety meds but not for therapy sessions. I tried it a few times and the latest time I discussed how I felt with my T and he asked me not to take them for sessions. They relax me to the point where I don't feel ANYTHING and I cannot access my emotions which makes effective therapy more difficult for me. I, too, tend to dissociate if something feels scary or overwhelming to me. We have been working on various things to both alert T and to keep me grounded. I like HIC's suggestions. I also hold my bottle of cold water that I take to session.

Just before I was abandoned by my oldT I tried taking another different anti anxiety med because I was such a huge mess due to his acting so irrational and frightening towards the end. The meds had the effect of having me cry MORE than ever. My current T explained that when you are somewhat depressed the meds could exacerbate the depression... hence me crying all the time.

I know how anxiety producing going into session can be. I am even more anxious because I'm afraid that I could see T's wife or see them both together which triggers meltdowns for me. I am never relaxed walking up his stairs and crossing the waiting room to his office. I just about RUN through the waiting room without breathing. Then it takes me some time to calm down enough in his office to be able to talk to him at all.

Try the meds but tell the T and pay attention to how they make you feel.

Good luck
TN

Similar to TN, I got so relaxed I felt nothing. It wasn't a good choice for me for therapy. I also found the anxiety very telling....meaning it was worth exploring why I was having the anxiety.

Hi MC,

I used to go to my Ts office about 20 min prior to our session time and do deep breathing and progressive relaxation in another room prior to meeting. I also would emotionally "debrief" myself in another room for 10 min after the session.

If the medication makes you feel relaxed perhaps you could try cutting the pill and taking half of it prior to session and see how it does.

I also became very anxious during therapy, usually it came on during the EMDR processing. My T did suggest I get on some anti-anxiety meds in order to "get through this" so I went to the psychiatrist and he perscribed an anti-anxiety medication. However, my T said it made me "flat", almost emotionless, at times. My T said the only thing about taking meds while doing therapy is that most clients have to go over parts again, because channels can become blocked, so the process takes longer. But I have to say, when I do take it, I don't get high anxiety walking up the stairs to his office and my tics are put on the back burner for the moment the meds are working. I like myself better on them, but he truly sees a difference. He can always tell when I have taken them before I come to session or not. But, that's just my experience with them.
FWIW,
LJB

Hi, sorry I am a bit late, I was in between Canada and France, but here it is, I am back.

Therapy often makes me anxious (I am sick before most of the sessions), so I feel your pain!

My solutions so far have been:
- benzo: I was prescribed some for some time, but i was not taking them before therapy (made me too sleepy), but the general lowering of anxiety in the rest of my life made the anxiety more manageable during the sessions
- rum: not a solution I would recommend, but I did use it a number of times, not as a habit, but for specific occasions, when I was really really too afraid of talking. However, it also had the effect of making me less 'present' during the session, more distant from my feelings (which is something I needed to not be overwhelmed by the fear and shame)
- medication: I am currently on meds for bipolar, and... it actually helps so much with my mood. Not having the constant depressed mood that it was for me gives me the energy necessary to deal with the anxiety, to be able to be present in spite of it. I don't know your diagnosis, but if meds are available, it is definitely worth a try (even if it took me years to admit that, and then more than a year to find the right meds)
- preparing: for me, preparing an outline, or "flashcards" for each planned topic of a session is a great help, because it helps me feel in control of the session: I know where I am going (with space for talk and experiment, but I know that if I feel lost or overwhelmed, I can go back to the planned stuff + it reassures me a lot to know that things won't be forgotten if I am being overwhelmed, since I can use the outline/flashcards to still communicate them to the T). I am not sure whether that would be something that would work for you, but you may have other means to feel more in control, therefore safer and allowing yourself to be more present?

Good luck