I read your thread before you deleted, and I just want to say that you are absolutely right, and that crying is a very healing thing. The reason I didn't respond is because I had just put something about crying with my SD, and I thought it might be triggery I just didn't know what to say...sorry, jilly....

BB

i'm ok. another thread (i am sure no one knows which one!) got me a little triggery/sensitive. kind of time to run and hide, or at least not wear the emotions too much on the sleeve. but, i am trying to not run and hide, and, instead, approach my fear, and not be ashamed of who i am...i don't know, the flight instict in me is a tough one to overcome.

im ok, thanks all

jill

(((((jill)))))

p.s. I think it is so good of you to back away and yet not run away - but to find that balance of what you can and can't do right now. I really am amazed of your strength. And also know - emotions in T and emotions here are ok... or they should be... IMHO. I'm a huge runner too - or I fight or freeze (numb out) or occasionally fawn (some version of being co-dependent) but the flight or fight is the biggest and it is so hard to overcome... hang in there... hope and pray that whatever you are triggered about setttles out for you.

Thanks Jane. I do want to run from emotions, I don't know if and when I will ever be able to accept that I feel, without being terrified of the consequences. Really scary when I saw myself out there, would much rather be the strong one helping others than falling apart and looking for help. I am too old to be such a basketcase. Lots of self hate today, boo hoo, Jill

well then let me be kind to you when you can't! 'cause I think it is the strong person that seeks help... and so often Jill, you help others, you have helped me, when you have sought help for yourself... and just been real with where you are at.

ah, and I kinda know what that's like. my pastor once said jane, you gotta start hitting yourself with a softer hammer. she even gave me stuffed hammer. she knows i can't stop hating myself as much as i do, but encouraged me to just hate myself a little less. and let others like me when I couldn't.

it is super scary to be raw and real and have your heart on your sleave and I do find it admirable that you are doing what you can and pulling back when you need to.

i know it may be very hard to believe but you are AWESOME jill, just as you are.

and you won't ever change my mind on that one.

many hugs for the wonderful woman you are jill. hang in there... i hope your night gets easier...

(((((jill)))))

agent