You know even if you aren't totaly done it is okay to take a huge break. Maybe some day you'll come back to it or maybe you won't.

Leaving your T may bring up some unknown issues so it's good that you are discussing it with him. Best thing is to not do anything abruptly. But I think you know yourself better than anyone else and you know if it's time to move on. BTW congrats on living the life you have always wanted to live!!! That is truly wonderful!!

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In the meantime, I've stopped thinking about what I "want to do someday" and started doing it. I'm living the life I've always wanted to live. I'm not letting a dysfunctional childhood stop me from pursuing my dreams.

Wow. BG this is huge. I want to get to this point, and am so inspired by your sharing!

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I love checking in with my T. every two weeks. It gives me a sense of security. I know he's there, and will be there even if I stop going.

If check-ins every two weeks are working, why not space it out to once a month, kind of like keeping that security blanket tucked away for times of great need? I honestly don't ever see myself being "done" with therapy, and my ultimate goal is to do exactly that - work to the point where checking in once a month with my T. I want that to be just another tool that I can rely on.

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I plan to bring this up in my next session. We've talked about it before, but I've never really seen myself as "finished."

I've read that when you get to this point, then you are likely just about done, which to me, sounds like a congrats are in order for you

I know you've been working really hard, and it sounds like you're finally starting to enjoy some of the fruits of that work!

Too scared right now to even think of the idea, but I did want to pop in and ((((hug)))) you, BG. Take your time with yourself and do what feels right. It's a beautiful journey you're on. Maybe take some time to reflect on what it means?

BG, I'm glad you are living your life more fully now and that you are feeling that therapy is about done for you. That is wonderful!! I do think that termination should be a phase. Meaning that you spend your sessions discussing whether you feel ready to begin termination, discuss how that makes you feel, why you feel that way and then review what you feel you have accomplished and learned in therapy, how you have grown and what you have discovered about yourself. Sometimes this phase is where patients end up doing A LOT of work in therapy. I think because it brings up a lof of feelings that were repressed or in your unconscious about leaving, changing, independence, etc.

If AG pops her head in hear I am sure she could speak first-hand about this phase of therapy. Some people will then space out their visits and then phase them out. Some just leave. As for me... my plan is to be with my T forever ... okay well actually if I ever get to the point of "graduation" from weekly therapy then I will want to keep a monthly check in or every other month checkin with my T. He seems fine with that and has patients who do just that. He tells me we are in each other's lives forever (unless I decide otherwise). I like that and it makes me feel less scared that I am taking too long in therapy.

I think this is a good thing to bring up with your T during your next session.

Hugs
TN

I think you know you've had "enough" when you start to see improvement in your life and find yourself "chit chatting" with T because you have run out of things to talk about.

BG,
Sorry I've taken so long to respond but I wanted to chime in anyway. FWIW, I have been thinking reading your recent posts that you were sounding "done" in some ways It's been really wonderful to read about the accomplishments and your new found sense of living.

I especially think that your awareness that changing and growing is something that will continue outside of therapy is so important. There really isn't any such thing as "done." It's really just about what we have in our life that we are using to grow and change at any given point.

And for a while, it has been steady appointments with your therapist. But it sounds like you are sensing a shift in what you need to continue on your journey.

Please know I understand the pain also. You know that leaving was not easy or pain free for me. And I have found staying in touch with my T to be really important and part of the process. I also understand the questioning about whether you are ready to leave or is this just avoidance.

But the truth is, that leavetaking is, as TN pointed out, a very important part of the work. I know for me that it brought up issues that didn't come up UNTIL I was leaving. But this part of the work is no different. It's still about paying attention to our feelings, bringing them into therapy and looking at them to see what they mean.

My best advice is to bring it to your T. I know enough about your therapist to know he will put your needs first and I believe that he will give you feedback as to whether you're avoiding or (as I believe) you really are ready to do this next part of your journey more independent of him.

I also want to reassure you that as difficult as leaving has been, there has also been so much good that has come out of it. That I carry my T with me and he is so present in so much that I do.

Whatever you decide will be what is best for you, BG. And if it isn't you can change your mind. There, that was helpful, wasn't it?

AG

BG,

I don't have any advice as I feel like I may be in therapy forever, but I did want to say that from your posts it does sound like you are leaning toward being done. You have clearly done some really great work and I agree that we are never "done" and it is an ongoing process. I think the difference is that you now have the tools to deal with life's ups and downs and perhaps the internal sense of your T is strong enough now to help you along the way.

(((hugs)))

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All my problems aren't gone, but they never will be.

definitely!

I've been thinking about this topic a lot lately because i've been noticing that sh$# still happens. my dad is an ass, school is hard, work is hard, i fight with my boyfriend and my parents are in the middle of a divorce BUT i can handle it all... my reaction to my dad doing something asshole-ish is to journal, not go get drunk. i'm happy and i love my life despite all the shit! lol!

BG, it all sounds good. I've been reading along, but not much to offer for some reason. It's great that your journey has progressed to peacefully rbing you to the point of considering this*for yourself* with no pressure or hinting from him- I love the sound of your T. He seem amazing form the posts I read from you. So glad you can consider leaving and trying your wings, with no pressure.

Take your time-

BB