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Hi BG!
i liked the topic, i think you can tell a lot about a patient from what she/he`s wearing...(and HOW she wears, with confident or shame etc.) it communicates, i am sure.
I am tempted to ask yo- if there was any attraction with your T when you carafully dressed before sessions?
i am asking because i always used to have hang-ups about what to wear.. sometimes hysterical about it. Really. (I didnt recongnized this before i found myself almost panic before a session, because my socks were all weat and dirty) Not just the chlothes, also how my hair/face looked like- and even weirder- if my hands was clean enough.. I would always stop by a cafe-toilet or something in order to wash my hands before the session. It was a (anxious)routine for about a year. I am not so hysterical about all this anymore, but i`ve notieced that i am much more uncomfartable in the session if the wearings aint "right".
Its no big "Hidden meaning" about this for me though- its just simply something i do because i DO wanna impress/look good with my T, and even knowin`that my T propably NEVER gives it a thought (what i wear and how i look).
i liked the topic, i think you can tell a lot about a patient from what she/he`s wearing...(and HOW she wears, with confident or shame etc.) it communicates, i am sure.
I am tempted to ask yo- if there was any attraction with your T when you carafully dressed before sessions?
i am asking because i always used to have hang-ups about what to wear.. sometimes hysterical about it. Really. (I didnt recongnized this before i found myself almost panic before a session, because my socks were all weat and dirty) Not just the chlothes, also how my hair/face looked like- and even weirder- if my hands was clean enough.. I would always stop by a cafe-toilet or something in order to wash my hands before the session. It was a (anxious)routine for about a year. I am not so hysterical about all this anymore, but i`ve notieced that i am much more uncomfartable in the session if the wearings aint "right".
Its no big "Hidden meaning" about this for me though- its just simply something i do because i DO wanna impress/look good with my T, and even knowin`that my T propably NEVER gives it a thought (what i wear and how i look).
Hi BG,
Like you I used to plan what I was going to wear as I always felt the need to look nice and I wanted my T to see me looking at my best. Maybe something to do with me thinking the nicer I looked the less she would think I was a total nutcase
I now don't think about this nearly as much and like you like to wear something that I feel comfortable in...(I love the idea of your therapy pants) I think the more our relationship developed the less I thought of my appearance.
Butterfly
Like you I used to plan what I was going to wear as I always felt the need to look nice and I wanted my T to see me looking at my best. Maybe something to do with me thinking the nicer I looked the less she would think I was a total nutcase
I now don't think about this nearly as much and like you like to wear something that I feel comfortable in...(I love the idea of your therapy pants) I think the more our relationship developed the less I thought of my appearance.
Butterfly
Great topic....when I went to therapy, I used to go dressed as relaxed as possible....no makeup, no fuss, no muss....as I reflect more deeply, I realize that I had a couple of "therapy outfits"....thanks for bringing this topic to the fore BG!
S
S
This topic made me smile! I usually wear nice jeans, sneakers, a tight t-shirt from a concert or vacation destination, and dangling or hoop earrings. Just like you BG, whenever my husband comes home and I'm wearing earrings, he knows I've been to a session. 
~D.
~D.
Glad I'm not the only one who thinks about what to wear to therapy. I have seen my T for a year now and at first I didn't really care that much. But once I developed my attachment to her I suddenly wanted to look a little more dressed up. She always looks really nice and professional, always wears jewelry, has her hair cut and colored every 4 or 5 weeks, has her nails done regularly, etc. She's 67. So of course I have to keep up since I'm in my mid 30s. No frumpy housewife look for me!! (well, not in therapy, anyway!! 
) I usually wear nice jeans or black pants, a dressy top, a tee with a cardigan, or a top with a blazer/jacket. And of course I have to wear my best perfume, make sure my make-up is just right, hair is perfect, and my jewelry matches and looks good with the outfit. Yeah, I'm a little OCD with it. I wonder if that will ever change?
MTF
) I usually wear nice jeans or black pants, a dressy top, a tee with a cardigan, or a top with a blazer/jacket. And of course I have to wear my best perfume, make sure my make-up is just right, hair is perfect, and my jewelry matches and looks good with the outfit. Yeah, I'm a little OCD with it. I wonder if that will ever change?MTF
It depends on what time my appointment is with my T. Sometimes, I go right after work so I'm a little more polished. If I stop home before my session I usually wear my favorite jeans. You know the ones that are worn out and you try to patch them up. In the summer I always wear shorts. Neat topic.
PG
PG
Love this topic. And I would take it once step further! Do you notice what your T wears?
I used to angst over what to wear, trying to balance looking put together, but not so polished that he thinks I don't need to be there. How weird. I am overweight and very self-conscious and now that I have invented my uniform (dark and comfy) - I don't worry so much. Always black pants and my black sandals, usually pedicured toes. I do think I save my favorite tops for T days. Hair is always clean and brushed, always stud earrings. But I am usually coming from work so one look fits all now. I am coveting BG's fleece, however! I am a hider!
My T's look interests me. I think he is the jeans or shorts and a T-shirt type. For work, he has two flavors of pants, ONE flavor of shirt, and only a couple of ties; same boots, no jacket. I would faint if it changed. I'm sure it is deliberate and I do know the story behind some of it.
My former T was petite and in her late fifties. She was an eccentric dresser. Her outfits were classy, expensive, peasant-y. Comfortable chic. Since I wasn't big on eye contact at the time, I always stared at her feet, which was a show -- she must have had 700 pairs of shoes and boots. I hate shoes; I would be barefoot all the time if I could - so that was fascinating. She always had tea in a china cup.
I, too, have a late appointment. By the time I arrive, the office is often a heady brew of leftover perfumes (I don't wear it, am somewhat allergic) -- and I find myself wondering how other women dress for "him" and why they spritz up! I asked him once if he thought they did that for him - and he just looked at me like I had three heads. And then I get going on their transference issues and go nuts. I remember once getting in my car after a session - I must have picked up perfume from the chair or something - the scent was overwhelming. And it really ticked me off.
Fun thread.
-drifty
I used to angst over what to wear, trying to balance looking put together, but not so polished that he thinks I don't need to be there. How weird. I am overweight and very self-conscious and now that I have invented my uniform (dark and comfy) - I don't worry so much. Always black pants and my black sandals, usually pedicured toes. I do think I save my favorite tops for T days. Hair is always clean and brushed, always stud earrings. But I am usually coming from work so one look fits all now. I am coveting BG's fleece, however! I am a hider!
My T's look interests me. I think he is the jeans or shorts and a T-shirt type. For work, he has two flavors of pants, ONE flavor of shirt, and only a couple of ties; same boots, no jacket. I would faint if it changed. I'm sure it is deliberate and I do know the story behind some of it.
My former T was petite and in her late fifties. She was an eccentric dresser. Her outfits were classy, expensive, peasant-y. Comfortable chic. Since I wasn't big on eye contact at the time, I always stared at her feet, which was a show -- she must have had 700 pairs of shoes and boots. I hate shoes; I would be barefoot all the time if I could - so that was fascinating. She always had tea in a china cup.
I, too, have a late appointment. By the time I arrive, the office is often a heady brew of leftover perfumes (I don't wear it, am somewhat allergic) -- and I find myself wondering how other women dress for "him" and why they spritz up! I asked him once if he thought they did that for him - and he just looked at me like I had three heads.
And then I get going on their transference issues and go nuts. I remember once getting in my car after a session - I must have picked up perfume from the chair or something - the scent was overwhelming. And it really ticked me off.Fun thread.
-drifty
Interesting topic and has made me think lol.
I tend to slob around most of the time in leggings and t-shirts unfortunately leggings aren’t made anymore so the ones I wear are getting to that baggy at the knees drooping crotch stage. For a while when seeing last long-term T I was turning up in those, then one day thought oh this is disgusting I look like a real slob and fished out one of my last remaining pairs of reasonably fitting not-yet-stretched-to-death leggings and started wearing those. But from time to time I couldn’t be bothered and just turned up in the daily baggy ones.
This new T on the other hand, for some reason I’d never contemplate turning up looking anything but neat and tidy (lol that would be a major accomplishment for me actually - I seem congenitally incapable of making myself look tidy.) Thought it was just because I’d be embarrassed to turn up in my daggy old at-home clothes, but reading this thread has made me realize that actually I care quite a bit how I look when I go into therapy. Not quite sure what’s going on there, need to think about that a bit more.
I read on another forum someone talking about going into T just with some clothes thrown on top of pyjamas because they couldn’t be bothered getting dressed
I LOVED that. I’d love to be able to not care at all how I looked and feel ok enough to turn up to T dressed in a way that reflected how I feel at the time. (That would include getting dressed up - would make a great starting off point for talking in T.)
Has anyone had a T comment on their clothes or hair? I had my haircut and coloured a couple of weeks ago, and hoped like hell T wouldn’t say anything because after all what could he say? Oh you’ve had your hair done? I’d feel like I’d have had to defend myself by explaining well yes and I’ve been meaning to do it for the last 18 months lol. And no, I haven’t done it just to impress you double lol. But he didn’t say anything and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. Oh how everything in therapy takes on all sorts of meanings you wouldn’t even think twice about in real world
Oh good question Drifty - I noticed my T’s clothes immediately, pegged him down as ‘straight’ (as in - stuffy uptight). It’s quite disconcerting because when he sits his trouser legs ride up and I see a great expanse of sock almost to bare leg. But if you asked me to describe in detail what he wears, I couldn’t . I seem to only ever have a vague impression of him and what he looks like, never mind the details.
LL
I tend to slob around most of the time in leggings and t-shirts unfortunately leggings aren’t made anymore so the ones I wear are getting to that baggy at the knees drooping crotch stage. For a while when seeing last long-term T I was turning up in those, then one day thought oh this is disgusting I look like a real slob and fished out one of my last remaining pairs of reasonably fitting not-yet-stretched-to-death leggings and started wearing those. But from time to time I couldn’t be bothered and just turned up in the daily baggy ones.
This new T on the other hand, for some reason I’d never contemplate turning up looking anything but neat and tidy (lol that would be a major accomplishment for me actually - I seem congenitally incapable of making myself look tidy.) Thought it was just because I’d be embarrassed to turn up in my daggy old at-home clothes, but reading this thread has made me realize that actually I care quite a bit how I look when I go into therapy. Not quite sure what’s going on there, need to think about that a bit more.
I read on another forum someone talking about going into T just with some clothes thrown on top of pyjamas because they couldn’t be bothered getting dressed
I LOVED that. I’d love to be able to not care at all how I looked and feel ok enough to turn up to T dressed in a way that reflected how I feel at the time. (That would include getting dressed up - would make a great starting off point for talking in T.)Has anyone had a T comment on their clothes or hair? I had my haircut and coloured a couple of weeks ago, and hoped like hell T wouldn’t say anything because after all what could he say? Oh you’ve had your hair done? I’d feel like I’d have had to defend myself by explaining well yes and I’ve been meaning to do it for the last 18 months lol. And no, I haven’t done it just to impress you double lol. But he didn’t say anything and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. Oh how everything in therapy takes on all sorts of meanings you wouldn’t even think twice about in real world
Oh good question Drifty - I noticed my T’s clothes immediately, pegged him down as ‘straight’ (as in - stuffy uptight). It’s quite disconcerting because when he sits his trouser legs ride up and I see a great expanse of sock almost to bare leg. But if you asked me to describe in detail what he wears, I couldn’t
. I seem to only ever have a vague impression of him and what he looks like, never mind the details.LL
I usually go straight from work, so yea...therapy days I usually look pretty put together I don't over do it and on the days where I have to really dress up for a meeting at work, etc...I worry that he will think I dressed up for him! How weird is that. On the days where I do have a later appt., I usually make it home and "casual" it up a bit....When I stop to think about it, I wonder about all of the time I spend worried about what he thinks of me, whether it be my clothes, my hair, my words, my life, etc...and bottom line, I know that he spends likely about 60 minutes a week thinking about me...that's all..when the "healthy" me is thinking about this, I am fine with that.....when the "needy and insecure" side of me thinks about that, it makes me sad! Hals...
I don't over do it and on the days where I have to really dress up for a meeting at work, etc...I worry that he will think I dressed up for him! How weird is that. On the days where I do have a later appt., I usually make it home and "casual" it up a bit....When I stop to think about it, I wonder about all of the time I spend worried about what he thinks of me, whether it be my clothes, my hair, my words, my life, etc...and bottom line, I know that he spends likely about 60 minutes a week thinking about me...that's all..when the "healthy" me is thinking about this, I am fine with that.....when the "needy and insecure" side of me thinks about that, it makes me sad! Hals...
I'm a jeans and either t or sweat shirt gal. Unless I'm going to my second job. Never thought much about it - Oh boy, my T must think I'm a terrible slob! LOL
Smiley
Smiley
Well I just got dressed to go to my appointment. I’m wearing a cream & black stripped long cardigan with a black tank top, dark skinny jeans, black boots, and diamond studs. I’m wearing foundation but no eye makeup and my hair is straightened. This is a pretty average look for me. A year ago one of my favorite outfits was a rainbow and cheetah print tank top with lace, a cheetah print jacket, ripped jeans, flip flops, and massively huge hoop earrings that touch my shoulder. Yayyy I’ve grown up! Lol.
quote:
He said he liked to be consistent because some clients need that. I thought that was cool, honestly.[/QUOTE][QUOTE]
Great point.. i wonder if that my T`reason for dressing too. I know it helps that my T` is consistent and stable. On every level. SO- also the visual level. One time, i came to session as usual and i was chocked(!!) to see my T wear jeans! He NEVER used those before, and it seriously was a critical moment for me to see him like that. Like.."how do you dare to use those jeans, you`re suppose to wear those straight blue or black ones of yours..!" I dindt know were to look or how to handle it, it really bothered me that my T had dressed so different. (It didnt make it easyer that it was the follow-up session after tellin`him i felt in love with him!) I think every tiny change with my T, (the office-room as well) i will notice with a sense of "something is wrong"-feeling.
I just wear whatever I'm wearing with the exception that I usually change out of the "mom jog suit" look that I wear to walk my kids to school. T frequently comments on my clothes or says that I look cute/nice something like that. I also try to wear clothes that offer good fidgeting opportunities if I know we are into heavy material. I had a few shirts over the summer that had great silky stuff on them to rub by fingers on. I also have a gray sweater that both myself and my T love and I have come to associate it with her so I often wear it to T (and then it will smell like her) and then I wear it around the house on days that are hard.
T dresses nice and almost always wears a necklace and earrings. I comment on her clothing fairly often as well. We each comment on each others hair because we have similar hair cuts and are on the same cut schedule right now so it's a bit funny that we get ours cut at the same time.
T dresses nice and almost always wears a necklace and earrings. I comment on her clothing fairly often as well. We each comment on each others hair because we have similar hair cuts and are on the same cut schedule right now so it's a bit funny that we get ours cut at the same time.
hi! i'm so glad i came across this topic as i had a shit day and it helped to cheer me up! love it! i love clothes by the way...
when i used to go straight after work, it was work clothes, but sometimes i would especially dress up that day and wear something nice. i told myself that i needed it to feel better, because i used to really dread it (i would look forward to my appointment a few days before but really dread it on the day). but there was an element of hoping she'll notice and comment, she would sometimes when I wore an interesting brooch, or had a brand new handbag, but she didn't comment all the time. which was probably a good thing, maybe she didn't want me to start to depend on those comments.
but i would also vary it a lot, sometimes casual, or if i was a bit sick, i would wear my comfy 'sick' clothes and a hat (cos i couldn't be bothered to wash my hair..)
hmmm... i'm not sure why i varied it a lot... to keep her guessing...? so that she doesn't think that i do dress for her...? or maybe i just like variety
my T would also dress pretty consistently - like she had a uniform of dark and muted colours - and she never wore make up (which always puzzled me).
fun topic! thanks for posting blanket girl! and i loved reading everyone's comments!
puppet
when i used to go straight after work, it was work clothes, but sometimes i would especially dress up that day and wear something nice. i told myself that i needed it to feel better, because i used to really dread it (i would look forward to my appointment a few days before but really dread it on the day). but there was an element of hoping she'll notice and comment, she would sometimes when I wore an interesting brooch, or had a brand new handbag, but she didn't comment all the time. which was probably a good thing, maybe she didn't want me to start to depend on those comments.
but i would also vary it a lot, sometimes casual, or if i was a bit sick, i would wear my comfy 'sick' clothes and a hat (cos i couldn't be bothered to wash my hair..)
hmmm... i'm not sure why i varied it a lot... to keep her guessing...? so that she doesn't think that i do dress for her...? or maybe i just like variety
my T would also dress pretty consistently - like she had a uniform of dark and muted colours - and she never wore make up (which always puzzled me).
fun topic! thanks for posting blanket girl! and i loved reading everyone's comments!
puppet
I carefully plan what I am going to wear to therapy. I have a few shirts I bought just for the purpose of wearing to therapy to get some kind of reaction out of my P. One says "you cant make some love you, you can only stalk them and hope for the best." Which is because I basically used to stalk the guy, and I got the response I wanted out of it and it brought up the subject of transfernce. The other ones are just funny shirts that say "Lord, help me to become the person my psychiatrist medicates me to be." and a few others like that.
But most of the time I try to where something thats a little sexy but not too sexy cause I dont want to act like I want to dress a certain way for him.
Its harder for me since I have been seeing him for 10 years and through out high school I was so ashamed of myself that I wore nothing but baggy clothes so no one could see how ugly I was cause I hated myself. And he knew thats why I did it. So now if I wear baggy clothes he knows that Im depressed but if I wear anything to sexy he would probably think something was up. So I usually end up trying to wear shorts and a tshirt thats kind of tight but not to tight.
I think I put way to much thought into my clothes for therapy but I am so in love with him. And the first thing I check is to see what clothes he is wearing that day when he is walking the other patient out. I always hope he has a black shirt on cause that color makes him look so good and then always check to see how tight his pants are hoping I will have a good view for the day..... the scary part is at some point we will probably end up talking about this issue cause he knows I look and Ill have to be honest about it
But most of the time I try to where something thats a little sexy but not too sexy cause I dont want to act like I want to dress a certain way for him.
Its harder for me since I have been seeing him for 10 years and through out high school I was so ashamed of myself that I wore nothing but baggy clothes so no one could see how ugly I was cause I hated myself. And he knew thats why I did it. So now if I wear baggy clothes he knows that Im depressed but if I wear anything to sexy he would probably think something was up. So I usually end up trying to wear shorts and a tshirt thats kind of tight but not to tight.
I think I put way to much thought into my clothes for therapy but I am so in love with him. And the first thing I check is to see what clothes he is wearing that day when he is walking the other patient out. I always hope he has a black shirt on cause that color makes him look so good and then always check to see how tight his pants are hoping I will have a good view for the day..... the scary part is at some point we will probably end up talking about this issue cause he knows I look and Ill have to be honest about it
Interesting topic. I know I dress for comfort. And need shoes I can easily take off as I have to sit on my feet. I don't think so much about the specifics, although warm as ac is always a problem for me. And I do not notice that much about them...too dazed. I remember t1...it was probably eight months in when I realized he had beautiful blue eyes...now you'd think a gal would notice that. Dbt gal is fashionable tho, knew I liked her shoes the first day. But eye color? No clue. I probably repeat my clothes, but for me, comfort is key to me relaxing. Sometimes sweats, but always bathed and 'coifed'...try not to wear a dress or a skirt as I sometimes want to sit cross legged on the couch, and I hate it when I can't take off my shoes!!!! Jill
My T always wears dress slacks and either a button-up shirt or a nice polo. He wears a lot of different shoes though! (BG/Frog, I loved your comments about consistency, looks like my T is the same way). But I always notice (and actually feel shocked) when he gets a haircut. He looks like a different person then, so it feels weird talking to him at first. ~D.
Oh dear, I must confess, until a month or so ago, I was vigilant with looking nice (not dressy or made up, just nice). My appointments are late too and I would want to go right after work since I look nice, but I worried that I smelled. So I'd rush home and shower and change into clean clothes.
I somewhat admitted that to her and she was horrified that I would go through such lengths, so eventually I stopped making it such a big deal and now go right from work.
The only time I'll wear jeans is for a weekend appointment or if I had the day off. Now that it's Fall, I've been wearing my navy hoodie over everything anyway so I've been much less worried about what I'm wearing.
T does compliment me though from time to time. And then I am super careful to not wear that combo again lest she think I'm doing it for her. She admired a necklace I wore once and I've not worn it since. And she usually compliments my hair which I have been changing styles often. Once she said "oh, now I really like that", and I have never worn that hairstyle again. I think I worry about replicating it and then worrying if she didn't compliment it again.
She is very thin and dresses so nice and classy but it's comforting to me. Not overly done. Except for once she wore super strappy heels and I thought they were a bit too much. She has many many shoes apparently and they are all mostly heels. I worry about her falling sometimes. I used to not like her makeup, but more because I hate makeup myself. Now it's not as noticeable. She wears her watch and rings on both hands. Last session she wore a stylish scarf around her neck. She wears lots of darks, browns, grays, creams. And in everything she wears, she looks absolutely gorgeous.
I somewhat admitted that to her and she was horrified that I would go through such lengths, so eventually I stopped making it such a big deal and now go right from work.
The only time I'll wear jeans is for a weekend appointment or if I had the day off. Now that it's Fall, I've been wearing my navy hoodie over everything anyway so I've been much less worried about what I'm wearing.
T does compliment me though from time to time. And then I am super careful to not wear that combo again lest she think I'm doing it for her. She admired a necklace I wore once and I've not worn it since.
And she usually compliments my hair which I have been changing styles often. Once she said "oh, now I really like that", and I have never worn that hairstyle again. I think I worry about replicating it and then worrying if she didn't compliment it again. She is very thin and dresses so nice and classy but it's comforting to me. Not overly done. Except for once she wore super strappy heels and I thought they were a bit too much. She has many many shoes apparently and they are all mostly heels. I worry about her falling sometimes. I used to not like her makeup, but more because I hate makeup myself. Now it's not as noticeable. She wears her watch and rings on both hands. Last session she wore a stylish scarf around her neck. She wears lots of darks, browns, grays, creams. And in everything she wears, she looks absolutely gorgeous.
I wear jeans or capris and a casual top. My P (who is my T also) has a blanket in his office, folded up on a chair. I ALWAYS grab it on my way in and cover up with it. I'm not sure why. Maybe for comfort, maybe to hide from him because I don't like what I look like. He always has on a shirt and tie and dress pants, sometimes a jacket. Wonder who picks out his ties? They don't always go with the shirt IMO.
This is not my first post. I was previously known as emogirl but i changed my email address and that account would no longer work on this site. Not really sure if that's the reason but i couldn't figure it out so i had to re register. Wish i could troubleshoot these computers better
This is not my first post. I was previously known as emogirl but i changed my email address and that account would no longer work on this site. Not really sure if that's the reason but i couldn't figure it out so i had to re register. Wish i could troubleshoot these computers better
Great thread
This is funny - my P was the same way. He didn't always wear the exact same shirt, but I counted and I think there were only 5 different shirts and 3 pairs of pants. Always the exact same shoes, though, which drove me crazy and not in a good way (dorky brown middle-aged-man lace up sensible shoes - I couldn't believe it when I found out he was gay. Those are some serious zero-fashion-sense heterosexual man shoes.) I was impressed that he never managed to wear the same shirt two sessions in a row, considering there were only five of them. I imagine him having a highly sophisticated hanger labelling system to prevent duplicate wearings. For real. He's a little high-strung/OCD.
Whenever I see him out in public, he still looks the same, even though the clothes are more casual. He's usually wearing jeans (baggy old man jeans that look like they might have a hidden elastic waist band, lol) and a T shirt with running shoes. The actual clothes are different from his work clothes, but it's clear he doesn't care too much about fashion, which I find reassuring for some reason. He just is who he is.
I am a casual person in a very casual corner of the world, so I always wear my "mom uniform" for every occasion. Jeans (or cords or capris, depending on the weather), T-shirt or polo, cardigan sweater or hoodie if it's chilly. I only have 3 pairs of shoes (excluding summer flip flops - which I would never wear to therapy because I was afraid my P would think my feet are ugly or unclean or something. ) Once I "fell in love" with him, I still wore the same clothes, but I shaved my legs and bought nicer underwear. LMAO about that now.
Once I went to a session (with a new/different female T) straight from a funeral, and was wearing a nice black dress and heels, and had actually put on make-up and had a real grown-up purse, and I think my T was really shocked. She had this idea of who I am based on... I don't know what exactly... and seeing me all dressed up was obviously disorienting for her. Suddenly she was all about encouraging me to leave my husband and go back to school and get a job, etc. Hmm, maybe if I stopped dressing like a lazy teenager, people would take me more seriously??
quote:Originally posted by Blanket Girl:
my T. also wears the same thing every day. Nice slacks and a blue button up shirt. Exactly like his picture on the website.
This is funny - my P was the same way. He didn't always wear the exact same shirt, but I counted and I think there were only 5 different shirts and 3 pairs of pants. Always the exact same shoes, though, which drove me crazy and not in a good way (dorky brown middle-aged-man lace up sensible shoes - I couldn't believe it when I found out he was gay. Those are some serious zero-fashion-sense heterosexual man shoes.) I was impressed that he never managed to wear the same shirt two sessions in a row, considering there were only five of them. I imagine him having a highly sophisticated hanger labelling system to prevent duplicate wearings. For real. He's a little high-strung/OCD.
Whenever I see him out in public, he still looks the same, even though the clothes are more casual. He's usually wearing jeans (baggy old man jeans that look like they might have a hidden elastic waist band, lol) and a T shirt with running shoes. The actual clothes are different from his work clothes, but it's clear he doesn't care too much about fashion, which I find reassuring for some reason. He just is who he is.
I am a casual person in a very casual corner of the world, so I always wear my "mom uniform" for every occasion. Jeans (or cords or capris, depending on the weather), T-shirt or polo, cardigan sweater or hoodie if it's chilly. I only have 3 pairs of shoes (excluding summer flip flops - which I would never wear to therapy because I was afraid my P would think my feet are ugly or unclean or something.
) Once I "fell in love" with him, I still wore the same clothes, but I shaved my legs and bought nicer underwear. LMAO about that now. Once I went to a session (with a new/different female T) straight from a funeral, and was wearing a nice black dress and heels, and had actually put on make-up and had a real grown-up purse, and I think my T was really shocked. She had this idea of who I am based on... I don't know what exactly... and seeing me all dressed up was obviously disorienting for her. Suddenly she was all about encouraging me to leave my husband and go back to school and get a job, etc. Hmm, maybe if I stopped dressing like a lazy teenager, people would take me more seriously??
quote:
Once I went to a session (with a new/different female T) straight from a funeral, and was wearing a nice black dress and heels, and had actually put on make-up and had a real grown-up purse, and I think my T was really shocked. She had this idea of who I am based on... I don't know what exactly... and seeing me all dressed up was obviously disorienting for her. Suddenly she was all about encouraging me to leave my husband and go back to school and get a job, etc.
quote:
lol. I just had to qote that, it made me giggle! Thanks for sharing that echo! i am tempted to do something like that with my T as well- just create a total confusion on him- by dressin up totally different (in my case that would be those "comfy-baggy-clothes")
Hi All,
BG what a fun thread! I have been very frustrated at not having the time to reply so I'm stealing some time this morning.
How I dressed for therapy was always a major deal. I would often pick out my outfit as much as a week ahead and was always a little more carefully groomed for my appointments. I don't always wear perfume but I would on therapy mornings. Ironically though, I was always terrified my T would pick up on how much planning I put into it so I ended up dressing how I do much of the time so it wasn't obvious.. I work for a small software company and dress is extremely casual. (We always said to have casual Fridays at our office, everyone would have to wear their pajamas. At which point a co-worker said "I sleep in the nude." at which point those plans were canceled. TMI. ). My most common appt time was 8:30 AM so I was usually heading into work after. I'm normally in some kind of jeans or capris with a decent shirt. I wear slip-ons in the summer so I can take them off and tuck a foot under me.
My T dresses in a very professional manner. Always dress slacks, and a polo or dress shirt (no tie)sometimes with a cardigan or vest in the winter. His appearance is VERY precise (actually when I first met him I actually thought he looked a little overly fussy.). My favorite is when he wears pink. He has really nice silver gray hair and looks awesome in pink. He also has a few shirts that look like he's owned them since 1976 that I have been really tempted to tell him he needs to lose. But the very best part of his wardrobe is his socks. When he sits down in his seat, a large recliner, he always takes off his shoes, tucks one leg under him and the other is on a small footstool. He has a very extensive collection of really silly novelty socks. Which as strange as it sounds was a big part of my learning to trust him. The socks indicated a whimsical sense of humor that really appealed to me. And because I was often not able to make eye contact in the beginning I spent a lot of time looking at his socks. I ended up buying him several pair over the course of our work. The last pair I bought him he really loved. They were argyle socks but with an oxford shoe on the bottom so that when you took your shoes off, you still had shoes on. Got a really huge grin.
So in all the time I worked with my T, he commented on my appearance exactly twice. Once when we came back from a vacation (holidays for those of you from the United Kingdom) in Florida I had a very deep tan and my T opened the session with "How was your vacation, aside from getting a lot of sun." It took half the session until it hit me that he had actually said something about the way I looked!! The second time was a very funny story...
I actually had to go to a wedding about a three hour drive away on 8/9/10 which was a Monday. It was one of my closest, oldest friend's daughter and they thought it would be awesome to get married on that date, so I had to take a vacation day. Since my appts are normally on Tuesday morning and I knew I would be getting back quite late on Monday night (it was a 6 PM reception) I asked my T if we could schedule for Monday morning right before I left say 10:30. He was able to give me the appointment and I told him I might be a bit dressed up. Like I was going to squander this opportunity. I was dressed to the nines in a semi-formal tea length dress with a dusty pink chifon skirt and a double breasted sequined pink jacket with a rather glittery Swarovski necklace and earring set and was actually in pumps with 2 inch heels (I'm a flats all the way kind of gal.) There is a small waiting room outside my T's office door which is also the landing for the second floor of the building which is an older home converted to offices. He shares the waiting area with two other therapists but it's pretty rare that anyone else is waiting. So here I show up for therapy at 10:30 in the morning dressed for a formal evening event. And of course there is a woman already in the waiting room. I mentioned this was August right? She was in capris, a t-shirt and flip flops. We smiled, I sat down and realized that I must look like a COMPLETE nut case. So I atually said to her "I really feel like I have to tell you that I don't normally dress this way for therapy, I'm leaving to drive to a wedding in ------ as soon as I get out." She very graciously told me that I looked very nice and then she laughed and said, hey, therapy is all about feeling better about yourself right, whatever it takes. It was really pretty absurd. When my T let me in, he actually smiled and said, wait for it, "you look very nice." SCORE! Proof that yes, he does actually see what I'm wearing and it was possible to get him to say something. LOL It's one of my favorite memories of the end of therapy.
AG
BG what a fun thread! I have been very frustrated at not having the time to reply so I'm stealing some time this morning.
How I dressed for therapy was always a major deal. I would often pick out my outfit as much as a week ahead and was always a little more carefully groomed for my appointments. I don't always wear perfume but I would on therapy mornings. Ironically though, I was always terrified my T would pick up on how much planning I put into it so I ended up dressing how I do much of the time so it wasn't obvious.
. I work for a small software company and dress is extremely casual. (We always said to have casual Fridays at our office, everyone would have to wear their pajamas. At which point a co-worker said "I sleep in the nude." at which point those plans were canceled. TMI. ). My most common appt time was 8:30 AM so I was usually heading into work after. I'm normally in some kind of jeans or capris with a decent shirt. I wear slip-ons in the summer so I can take them off and tuck a foot under me. My T dresses in a very professional manner. Always dress slacks, and a polo or dress shirt (no tie)sometimes with a cardigan or vest in the winter. His appearance is VERY precise (actually when I first met him I actually thought he looked a little overly fussy.
). My favorite is when he wears pink. He has really nice silver gray hair and looks awesome in pink. He also has a few shirts that look like he's owned them since 1976 that I have been really tempted to tell him he needs to lose. But the very best part of his wardrobe is his socks. When he sits down in his seat, a large recliner, he always takes off his shoes, tucks one leg under him and the other is on a small footstool. He has a very extensive collection of really silly novelty socks. Which as strange as it sounds was a big part of my learning to trust him. The socks indicated a whimsical sense of humor that really appealed to me. And because I was often not able to make eye contact in the beginning I spent a lot of time looking at his socks. I ended up buying him several pair over the course of our work. The last pair I bought him he really loved. They were argyle socks but with an oxford shoe on the bottom so that when you took your shoes off, you still had shoes on. Got a really huge grin. So in all the time I worked with my T, he commented on my appearance exactly twice. Once when we came back from a vacation (holidays for those of you from the United Kingdom
) in Florida I had a very deep tan and my T opened the session with "How was your vacation, aside from getting a lot of sun." It took half the session until it hit me that he had actually said something about the way I looked!! The second time was a very funny story...I actually had to go to a wedding about a three hour drive away on 8/9/10 which was a Monday. It was one of my closest, oldest friend's daughter and they thought it would be awesome to get married on that date, so I had to take a vacation day. Since my appts are normally on Tuesday morning and I knew I would be getting back quite late on Monday night (it was a 6 PM reception) I asked my T if we could schedule for Monday morning right before I left say 10:30. He was able to give me the appointment and I told him I might be a bit dressed up. Like I was going to squander this opportunity.
I was dressed to the nines in a semi-formal tea length dress with a dusty pink chifon skirt and a double breasted sequined pink jacket with a rather glittery Swarovski necklace and earring set and was actually in pumps with 2 inch heels (I'm a flats all the way kind of gal.) There is a small waiting room outside my T's office door which is also the landing for the second floor of the building which is an older home converted to offices. He shares the waiting area with two other therapists but it's pretty rare that anyone else is waiting. So here I show up for therapy at 10:30 in the morning dressed for a formal evening event. And of course there is a woman already in the waiting room. I mentioned this was August right? She was in capris, a t-shirt and flip flops. We smiled, I sat down and realized that I must look like a COMPLETE nut case. So I atually said to her "I really feel like I have to tell you that I don't normally dress this way for therapy, I'm leaving to drive to a wedding in ------ as soon as I get out." She very graciously told me that I looked very nice and then she laughed and said, hey, therapy is all about feeling better about yourself right, whatever it takes. It was really pretty absurd. When my T let me in, he actually smiled and said, wait for it, "you look very nice." SCORE! Proof that yes, he does actually see what I'm wearing and it was possible to get him to say something. LOL It's one of my favorite memories of the end of therapy. AG
AG- AWSOME!
I LOVED READING THAT STORY! espescially cool that you managed to have your T speaking, commenting on your wearing! Good job- I`ve`never managed! (I bet you looked great btw, besides it must have been really weird for the woman in the waiting room... and i am sure if i was the woman in the waiting room and saw a woman dressed like that for therapy i would make up ALLOT of fantesizes about why and what she was tryin to *tell* her T...lol)
I LOVED READING THAT STORY! espescially cool that you managed to have your T speaking, commenting on your wearing! Good job- I`ve`never managed! (I bet you looked great btw, besides it must have been really weird for the woman in the waiting room... and i am sure if i was the woman in the waiting room and saw a woman dressed like that for therapy i would make up ALLOT of fantesizes about why and what she was tryin to *tell* her T...lol)
AG: Love the story, thanks for sharing. So great!
Guess what? I wore my "mom uniform" to T yesterday. I decided that I really didn't care. Of course I felt the need to point that out to her. She said she wishes that was her uniform and I told her that I wouldn't mind. She said if she ever has a day where she is only seeing me then she will wear the same uniform.
I forgot to mention that I almost always wear shoes that slip on/off because I always take my shoes off so I can curl up on the couch. I either have my feet in front, to the side or under me.
I also always use the same bath & body works lotion before T. She frequently comments on it because she says it is one of her favorite scents. I've come to associate that scent with T and being there so it is comforting outside of T as well.
Guess what? I wore my "mom uniform" to T yesterday. I decided that I really didn't care. Of course I felt the need to point that out to her. She said she wishes that was her uniform and I told her that I wouldn't mind. She said if she ever has a day where she is only seeing me then she will wear the same uniform.
I forgot to mention that I almost always wear shoes that slip on/off because I always take my shoes off so I can curl up on the couch. I either have my feet in front, to the side or under me.
I also always use the same bath & body works lotion before T. She frequently comments on it because she says it is one of her favorite scents. I've come to associate that scent with T and being there so it is comforting outside of T as well.
This is too funny...I had commented earlier this week, however, today when I looked at the site and saw this topic, I realized this. Oh my, I hope that I don't have any emotional emergency that would require an impromptu session because I really "grubbed" out for work and would be mortified if my T saw me looking like this. Yikes.
If I had some outstanding grubbed out stuff, I would relish wearing them. May try to find some. 
My T is a little OC about his space. He seems to tolerate women's perfume OK, but not people who smell bad. Not everyone is created equally from a personal hygiene perspective. I've noticed that he has sprayed Lysol or something after a client who smelled. I presume he wipes off the leather furniture too!!
My T is a little OC about his space. He seems to tolerate women's perfume OK, but not people who smell bad. Not everyone is created equally from a personal hygiene perspective. I've noticed that he has sprayed Lysol or something after a client who smelled. I presume he wipes off the leather furniture too!!
quote:Originally posted by scaredtoriskmyself:
I also always use the same bath & body works lotion before T.
Me too, or at least one of the several I have of theirs. I love their stress relief aromatherapy that is lemongrass and cardamom. It's strong at first, but after an hour or so it really relaxes me. Sometimes I totally NEED that when I have a session I know is going to be stressful!
My T sometimes wears perfume, but not always. Two sessions ago I was her first appointment for the day. Usually I'm the second. When I walked into her office I immediately smelled both her perfume and her scentsy warmer. The smell was strong, but really good. I haven't smelled it like that ever before. Anyway, this was a session where I had something really hard I had to tell her and it took me until the last five minutes before I could get it out. I leaned over and put my head in my hands and I must have worried my T because she asked me if I was okay. I said, "No" because I wasn't, but then she asked if I was seeing things, hearing things, etc. I told her no. Then was the funny part. She asked me if I could smell anything. I said no again because I thought she was meaning something along the lines of having delusions about stuff. Then she said, "Are you sure?" in this different tone than she had used with the previous questions. At this point she was really close to me, with her hand on my back and her face down near mine. Again I told her "No". It was kind of funny to me when I realized right after I said no what I think she was trying to get at. I think she was hoping I could smell her or her warmer and would comment about it. I really wanted to tell her I could smell her perfume and her warmer and that it all smelled good, but didn't have the courage.
There have been times where I've wanted to ask her what perfume she wears or what scent she has in her warmer so I can purchase at least one of them for myself as a comfort when I need it.This topic has brought up some interesting stuff!
AG, I liked your story too, although that lady in the waiting area sounds like something else!!
My T often comments on things I wear, or my jewelry. She loves jewelry and classy clothes. She also loves my purse and asked me where I got it. She once told me my shoes were "hot".
Then she apologized. It was funny. Mind you, she's 67--so some of the stuff that she says totally cracks me up. I guess you'd just have to know my T.MTF
This is a great light hearted thread that also makes me wistful for the days when I would dress up to see my T. I would see him either during my lunch hour from work or right after work and so I would be dressed in work clothes (I work in an office setting). In winter I would wear usually dress pants, high heels and a nice sweater. Or I would wear a black skirt with tights and high heeled black boots. In the summer I would usually wear sundresses, maxi dresses or capri's with brightly colored summer silky blouses and of course spikey high heeled sandals.
I vividly and fondly remember the few times my T commented on my clothing. It was so startling to know that he could actually "see" me. Once I wore a pretty lime colored sweater and he looked at me and said "you look just like spring today". That was my favorite because I felt like spring and it was a very happy period for me in therapy... it was just this past April/May. I have a cobalt blue winter sweater with sequins that I had worn to our work pollyanna party and he said to me "that's a really nice sweater". And on two occassions he commented on my winter jackets saying "that jacket looks really warm" or "is that a new jacket?". Hmmm... he really was paying attention! I always wore a really light perfume because I think (not sure) that my T had some allergies.
He was not a snappy dresser at all LOL.. and usually wore dockers type slacks with a polo shirt in summer and a dress shirt cardigan or pullover sweater in winter. My favorite colors on him were black (very sexy) and cobalt blue.
That man caused me so much pain and damage and I still very foolishly miss him.
TN
I vividly and fondly remember the few times my T commented on my clothing. It was so startling to know that he could actually "see" me. Once I wore a pretty lime colored sweater and he looked at me and said "you look just like spring today". That was my favorite because I felt like spring and it was a very happy period for me in therapy... it was just this past April/May. I have a cobalt blue winter sweater with sequins that I had worn to our work pollyanna party and he said to me "that's a really nice sweater". And on two occassions he commented on my winter jackets saying "that jacket looks really warm" or "is that a new jacket?". Hmmm... he really was paying attention! I always wore a really light perfume because I think (not sure) that my T had some allergies.
He was not a snappy dresser at all LOL.. and usually wore dockers type slacks with a polo shirt in summer and a dress shirt cardigan or pullover sweater in winter. My favorite colors on him were black (very sexy) and cobalt blue.
That man caused me so much pain and damage and I still very foolishly miss him.
TN
Ok I give up, what are capris?
LL
LL
LL
LOL Capris are pants that stop somewhere just below your knee. My mom used to call them peddle pushers.
Holding On
LOL Capris are pants that stop somewhere just below your knee. My mom used to call them peddle pushers.
Holding On
next appt i am definitly gonna show up wearing a all green "frog costume" (in real frog leader) and blame it all on this thread
quote:LOL Capris are pants that stop somewhere just below your knee. My mom used to call them peddle pushers
Hee hee, over here pants are what you wear UNDER your capris!
starfish
OK Starfish, that begs the question, what do you call "pants?" (a outerwear garment for use during the day whose legs extend to the ankles. Didn't want to cause anymore confusion. )
)
OK AG
Ah...those are definitely trousers Never pants...if I went out in pants I might raise a few eyebrows!!!
...so that begs the question, what do you call 'pants' (an undergarment also for use during the day which stop at the top of the legs!!?)
starfishy
quote:OK Starfish, that begs the question, what do you call "pants?" (a outerwear garment for use during the day whose legs extend to the ankles. Didn't want to cause anymore confusion. )
Ah...those are definitely trousers
Never pants...if I went out in pants I might raise a few eyebrows!!!...so that begs the question, what do you call 'pants' (an undergarment also for use during the day which stop at the top of the legs!!?
)starfishy
Starfish,
In the U.S. I think trousers is a fairly outdated word still used for what we call pants, but they're more of a dressy type of pants for men (and women, too). What you call pants we call 'panties' for women or more commonly 'underwear' as a general term. Interesting how one word can have several different meanings, even within the so-called 'same' language.
MTF
In the U.S. I think trousers is a fairly outdated word still used for what we call pants, but they're more of a dressy type of pants for men (and women, too). What you call pants we call 'panties' for women or more commonly 'underwear' as a general term. Interesting how one word can have several different meanings, even within the so-called 'same' language.
MTF
MTF
Thank you for clearing that up Perhaps you could go and help dear frog on another thread (things to fill in the time between sessions)who has asked about what jig-saws are...I thought I oughtn't answer as I was getting so involved in the underwear explanations here!!
starfishy
Thank you for clearing that up
Perhaps you could go and help dear frog on another thread (things to fill in the time between sessions)who has asked about what jig-saws are...I thought I oughtn't answer as I was getting so involved in the underwear explanations here!! starfishy
SF, i just saw that i had got it explained! ( STRM took care of it, thanks!) jig-saws are some kind of weird puzzles that makes you confuzed. Allthough, LL does it all the time! She`s very smart!
I have still no idea what it is..
I have still no idea what it is..
Oops. I saw your post on the other thread, SF, so I deleted mine here. Now it looks really confusing. So sorry!!
That is weird that you got a puzzle that wasn't what was on the box. That's amazing your son could put it together without the picture. Puzzles just give me a headache! LOL.
MTF
That is weird that you got a puzzle that wasn't what was on the box. That's amazing your son could put it together without the picture. Puzzles just give me a headache! LOL.
MTF
MTF
I think we posted our jig-saw explanations at the same time!! So then I deleted mine too!!Anyway, I never knew about those that glue it together afterwards!!! Wow that must be quite painstaking work.
WE were given a 1000 piece jig-saw once that showed people in a boat looking down a river...the picture we had to piece together was of what they were looking at...this was not what was shown on the box. Impossible...my brain just gave up, but my son just did it in a flash. Very annoying
starfish
I think we posted our jig-saw explanations at the same time!! So then I deleted mine too!!Anyway, I never knew about those that glue it together afterwards!!! Wow that must be quite painstaking work.
WE were given a 1000 piece jig-saw once that showed people in a boat looking down a river...the picture we had to piece together was of what they were looking at...this was not what was shown on the box. Impossible...my brain just gave up, but my son just did it in a flash. Very annoying
starfish