Apologies if this thread is a repeat. How pathetic am I? My T is from the tight-lipped school, so I just love reading all the nice things/compliments your Ts tell all of you. What's been the best?
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Thanks for asking effed, it was a good night to think about this.
Me: I realized that I felt something I have very rarely felt, I felt beautiful (talking about a REALLY intense previous session)
T: AG, you deserve to feel that way, you've always deserved to feel that way.
Me: Why would you possibly love me?
T: You let me.
Me: Long, awful confession about googling and how terrible I felt about violating his privacy and what a terrible person I was and I could understand why he wouldn't want to work with me anymore.
T: (in the most gentle voice imaginable) and yet you came and told me.
T: (about my phone calls between sessions) oh yes, your patented 30 second phone calls.
Me: if I ever get brave enough I'll show you
T: You look plenty brave from over here.
Me: I loved that analogy, it was really awesome
T: (grinning like a three year old on Christmas morning) You like that one? That was one of mine!
T: (about our relationship) it's a gift and freely given
OK, I'll stop now, I have a lot of them. For a man with really clear boundaries, he manages to say a lot of wonderful stuff.
AG
Me: I realized that I felt something I have very rarely felt, I felt beautiful (talking about a REALLY intense previous session)
T: AG, you deserve to feel that way, you've always deserved to feel that way.
Me: Why would you possibly love me?
T: You let me.
Me: Long, awful confession about googling and how terrible I felt about violating his privacy and what a terrible person I was and I could understand why he wouldn't want to work with me anymore.
T: (in the most gentle voice imaginable) and yet you came and told me.
T: (about my phone calls between sessions) oh yes, your patented 30 second phone calls.
Me: if I ever get brave enough I'll show you
T: You look plenty brave from over here.
Me: I loved that analogy, it was really awesome
T: (grinning like a three year old on Christmas morning) You like that one? That was one of mine!
T: (about our relationship) it's a gift and freely given
OK, I'll stop now, I have a lot of them. For a man with really clear boundaries, he manages to say a lot of wonderful stuff.
AG
Good idea on this post!
One of my favorite things T has said to me is, "If you love it, you'll do well at it. You just haven't realized that yet."
I'm sure there are other things that she's said that are wonderful, but I can't remember them at the moment.
I mostly remember certain looks and facial expressions that my T uses. She has a wonderful proud face (one that says she sees something in me, believes in me and is proud that I'm doing so well). She also has a surprised and happy "Oh" face when she hears something that she thinks is really cool and seems amazed by it.
One of my favorite things T has said to me is, "If you love it, you'll do well at it. You just haven't realized that yet."
I'm sure there are other things that she's said that are wonderful, but I can't remember them at the moment.
I mostly remember certain looks and facial expressions that my T uses. She has a wonderful proud face (one that says she sees something in me, believes in me and is proud that I'm doing so well). She also has a surprised and happy "Oh" face when she hears something that she thinks is really cool and seems amazed by it.
1.
T: Do you want to come out so we can have a hug?
[I was crying under his desk.]
2. T: there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are perfectly healthy and sound emotionally and mentally. You experience pain, anger, shame, grief, love, happiness, joy, in a way any healthy human does. You also experience deep pain and fear from huge traumas. You are very very normal and you tangle up in a normal way too.
T: Do you want to come out so we can have a hug?
[I was crying under his desk.]
2. T: there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are perfectly healthy and sound emotionally and mentally. You experience pain, anger, shame, grief, love, happiness, joy, in a way any healthy human does. You also experience deep pain and fear from huge traumas. You are very very normal and you tangle up in a normal way too.
Me (discussing my difficulty with forming opinions): . . and it isn't that I'm ill informed, exactly.
T (laughing): You are probably the most well informed person I know, because of all the reading you do.
lol, so I admit this flattered my vanity
* * * *
T: Seriously, call me if you want to or if you think it will help.
(I liked this because normally she just says call if you "need to".)
T: Well, the care taking part of me didn't like seeing you in such distress. I wanted to keep you here until you felt better, but that was probably inappropriate.
Anyway. There are more, these are just a few that come to mind most often.
T (laughing): You are probably the most well informed person I know, because of all the reading you do.
lol, so I admit this flattered my vanity
* * * *
T: Seriously, call me if you want to or if you think it will help.
(I liked this because normally she just says call if you "need to".)
T: Well, the care taking part of me didn't like seeing you in such distress. I wanted to keep you here until you felt better, but that was probably inappropriate.
Anyway. There are more, these are just a few that come to mind most often.
My favorite things T has has said to me was the moment she implied she would be devastated if anything happened to me, the first time she said I was precious (my heart just about melted) and the time she said she was proud of me, and the time she implied that she thought about me outside of our sessions, not once but twice! And i just love it when she talks to me in her wonderfully soft, soothing voice when I'm in my moments when I just need to cry on her.
Said in an email from my T....
"You inner kid or kids will eventually understand that they don't need to "do" anything to be loved. She/They just need to "be". "
"You inner kid or kids will eventually understand that they don't need to "do" anything to be loved. She/They just need to "be". "
"When I don't understand... it's not because I don't want to understand. I really do want to. And it's not for lack of caring."
This was a turning point for me. It's the only time he's expressed any feeling for me and it was just enough.
This was a turning point for me. It's the only time he's expressed any feeling for me and it was just enough.
There are many things that both T's have said to me that were favorites. Here's a few of them...
oldT: looking at me in a new light green sweater and cami..."you look like springtime today"
---------
Me: looking shyly at oldT... I missed you (after having to skip a week)
oldT: I missed you too and I have been thinking about you and wondering how you were doing.
----------
me to oldT: you are awesome
oldT: you are awesome too
--------------
I have a harder time remembering things my current T says to me. Part of that is that I think I have so much fear and it blocks a lot of nice things. He always tells me how much he respects me, that he cares about me, that I am very intelligent, that I'm challenging and fun to work with, an ideal patient.
One funny thing he said when I told him I'm always so black and white in my thinking... then we both realized I was wearing black and white clothing. I laughed and said "literally black and white"... T laughed and said "nah, your shoes give you away". I had on bright red shoes that day.
One day after I had been seing him for two months I told him when I was leaving the session..."I'm so glad I found you". He looked at me seriously and said "I'm really glad you found me too". Hearing that made SUCH a difference.
TN
oldT: looking at me in a new light green sweater and cami..."you look like springtime today"
---------
Me: looking shyly at oldT... I missed you (after having to skip a week)
oldT: I missed you too and I have been thinking about you and wondering how you were doing.
----------
me to oldT: you are awesome
oldT: you are awesome too
--------------
I have a harder time remembering things my current T says to me. Part of that is that I think I have so much fear and it blocks a lot of nice things. He always tells me how much he respects me, that he cares about me, that I am very intelligent, that I'm challenging and fun to work with, an ideal patient.
One funny thing he said when I told him I'm always so black and white in my thinking... then we both realized I was wearing black and white clothing. I laughed and said "literally black and white"... T laughed and said "nah, your shoes give you away". I had on bright red shoes that day.
One day after I had been seing him for two months I told him when I was leaving the session..."I'm so glad I found you". He looked at me seriously and said "I'm really glad you found me too". Hearing that made SUCH a difference.
TN
oldT: I'm going to miss you, too.
newT: You still have attachment to her...
newT(after hearing how I got together with DH because he made me pancakes): Does he still make you pancakes?
I don't think it was the words so much in those cases but the compassion in her voice that really made them memorable.
newT: You still have attachment to her...
newT(after hearing how I got together with DH because he made me pancakes): Does he still make you pancakes?
I don't think it was the words so much in those cases but the compassion in her voice that really made them memorable.
T1: says a lot of things i forget, but she amazes me frequently (they both do) but most recently "i want to keep our connection" and "i thought, i wish Cat was sitting right here [she patted beside her] beside me to see this" and "i really do think you are brilliant"
T2: i wrote my t a card (not thanking her for doing anything FOR me - but thanking her for the things i can do now that she has helped me with), and her response through a bit of tears was "this is why i do this work". "i'm right here, i'm not going anywhere"
my Ts.. are very complimentary, i just realized as i was writing this i have so much that i've been fortunate to receive from them my ts say a lot through touch also and those messages reverberate just as deeply as words do at times.
T2: i wrote my t a card (not thanking her for doing anything FOR me - but thanking her for the things i can do now that she has helped me with), and her response through a bit of tears was "this is why i do this work". "i'm right here, i'm not going anywhere"
my Ts.. are very complimentary, i just realized as i was writing this i have so much that i've been fortunate to receive from them
my ts say a lot through touch also and those messages reverberate just as deeply as words do at times.
You have to imagine him speaking in the softest voice, he is kneeling quite near me, I am under his desk, in a tight ball.
Him: The things that you've told me about, are okay. I know they cause you a lot of bother and they are awkward and difficult but they don't change you being the wonderful person you are, that is just the way it is.
ME: I wish that were true, I do, I do. [start crying]
Him: you're crying because it is hurting and it's okay. And in a while, you'll move and you'll go on to the next thing for today and go on to the good stuff and it will be okay. But right now it is hurting and it is okay that the hurt comes out, it's okay. [long pause. me still crying and wailing slightly.] Would you like a hand? [I reach out my hand towards him and he lets me hold his fingers]
A little bit later, he asks me if I would like a hug, the first time he has volunteered this.
Him: The things that you've told me about, are okay. I know they cause you a lot of bother and they are awkward and difficult but they don't change you being the wonderful person you are, that is just the way it is.
ME: I wish that were true, I do, I do. [start crying]
Him: you're crying because it is hurting and it's okay. And in a while, you'll move and you'll go on to the next thing for today and go on to the good stuff and it will be okay. But right now it is hurting and it is okay that the hurt comes out, it's okay. [long pause. me still crying and wailing slightly.] Would you like a hand? [I reach out my hand towards him and he lets me hold his fingers]
A little bit later, he asks me if I would like a hug, the first time he has volunteered this.
To one of my little 
'parts'
T: 'You are very brave..we are going to teach you to have inside smiles'
'parts'T: 'You are very brave..we are going to teach you to have inside smiles'
My ex-T said a lot of warm and fuzzy things from how she like my hair or how soft my eyes were but what I liked the most was our talk on anger.
She said: "if you expect to leave this office and never be angry, don't let the door hit your butt on the way out. Anger is a natural emotion and can be used right."
kansas
She said: "if you expect to leave this office and never be angry, don't let the door hit your butt on the way out. Anger is a natural emotion and can be used right."
kansas