Hi Navyme, this is a good question

My T curls her lip sometimes when she's sympathetic with my experiences and I can never tell whether she's putting it on to show that she cares or whether it's really who she is! Ha. I sometimes cringe when she does it because it seems like it's an act gone too far, but I'm not really sure.

She's really dainty. Ha. I compare her to a feline. When she talks she moves her hands in a very dainty kind of way. She would be great in an Edwardian film.

When I talk about how this or that annoys me, for instance maybe, the selfishness of others, she almost always refers it right back to my childhood. She'll say 'Like your parents did'. And though she's linking it up, it's a bit annoying after a while. I feel like saying 'Yes! I know it's to do with my parents but these convictions are real too!' Lol.

Actually thinking about it makes me think she's kind of cute. I don't know why it makes me smile. Lol.

:-) I like this post!

When T is about to tell me something about myself that I might not like, she'll preface it by asking herself, "How can I put this nicely?"

She also has this phrase that she uses once in a while, "Give 'em enough rope and they will hang themselves."

I love it when T and I make great eye contact. There have been a few times where she'll say, "I know" while making eye contact with me and it's as if she is right there with me. It's just a wonderful connection that I can't put into words.

Sometimes T will use humor to cause me to laugh and let out some of my anger or anxiety. I tend to bottle it up. We think up silly and naughty ideas that we would never act on, but instead laugh about (such as devising a plan get my ex's two girlfriends to meet up at the same time/same place-they don't know about each other).

Ah...I miss T so much thinking of these things. I can hold on another week.

I'm looking forward to reading everyone else's responses!

Some of mine's are...

"I'm curious..." followed by a question about me. She is one damn curious woman!

"What just happened?" This is usually after she picks up some body language from me, like when I shake my head a little to stop daydreaming and come back to reality.

She used to always tell me she'd be thinking about me, until I told her it sounded creepy if she didn't elaborate, like she might be thinking about how to kill me in my sleep. She doesn't say that anymore.

She used to always offer me water and I always refused. Until one day I clearly got annoyed about it, so I noticed that she stopped.

NavyMe,
Great question, I am really enjoying reading everyone's replies. I think these catchphrases are so important because there part of the intimacy we have with our Ts.

My Ts oldest catchphrase (and probably my favorite) is "AG, remember to breathe" When I get intensely emotional, espeically if I am triggered, I hold my breath without realizing it (it's part of trying to hold my feelings in and not express them). The first time it happened, I totally lost it laughing, I mean how bad are you when someone needs to tell you to breathe. It has become a very powerful symbol of Ts care for me.

Another one he uses a lot is "take your time." Again, when my emotions get intense, I have this tendency to try to push past them and it's my Ts way of telling me it's ok to feel them, it also tells me he's listening. He will also often say "you're doing fine" when I am crying and unable to speak so I don't rush through what I'm feeling.

He is very attuned during sessions and it can kind of freak me out, but in a nice way, when he notices that I've shifted or started to go away before I do. He usually lets me know by saying "where did you just go" or "what did that just bring up?" It really is an amazing feeling to have someone pay that much attention.

We have a phrase "you know that I know" that encompasses whole discussions we've had. We've talked about the fact that healing in therapy isn't about what you "know" cognitively, it's about a felt experience of being with another person and feeling understood, so my T once commented that what we're really having is a conversation that goes "I know" "I know that you know" "I know that you know that I know." We had one session where we had talked about that dynamic and a little bit later my T explained something to which I replied "I know" and went on only to realize he was laughing. Then it hit me what I had just said and I joined him. It was a wonderful moment. So using the word "know" is shorthand for a whole lot of truths we've discussed.

And I don't know if this really falls under catchphrases, but it's just really cool that at this point in our relationship, we know each other so well and my T has such a deep understanding of me that we are incredibly efficient in discussing stuff. It's kind of like each sentence references hours of discussions. This provides a feeling for me of being deeply understood which makes me feel very loved and secure.

Thanks again NavyMe, that was really fun to answer.

AG

quote:

Originally posted by Attachment Girl:
My Ts oldest catchphrase (and probably my favorite) is "AG, remember to breathe"

AG

Ha...Mine did the exact same thing. She just kindof paused one day, shifted toward me and said "Have you ever noticed that you don't breathe?"

Actually in my last session, I brought up the fact that she used to vocalize it, and then did a gesture where she'd adjust her own positioning and take a big, deep and obvious breath- which was an obvious reminder for me to do the same... And then, graduated to not doing it at all...

She said that if she didn't do it anymore, it was because I'd actually learned to do it myself.

It's funny how we progress without having any idea..

My T asks me "What does that make you think of?" all the time. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm being quizzed, like I'm supposed to have a "right" answer but he assures me that it's just to get me thinking and that whatever I answer is fine. He also says "take your time", because I tend to get nervous when there's a lot of silence and I worry he is getting impatient.

And, this is really not funny but for some reason I always want to laugh...when we do have moments of silence, I usually am in thought and looking to the ground or off to the side, and when I meet my T's eyes again, every single time he does this frowning face and very solemn head nod. I nearly crack up even though like I said, it's not funny, but it just seems like such a practiced typical "therapist gesture" with the furrowed brow and bobble-head nodding Maybe I am just amused easily, lol

For the first 9 months or so of therapy, he had an 'opener' when bringing me into his office from he waiting area "You brought the sun!" or "Geeze...it's raining out again.." I started calling him The Weatherman. One morning, I referenced it on my blog. I also had an appointment that day. That afternoon when I showed up, he didn't comment on the weather....he said nothing until we were starting to sit down, and with a bratty undertone he said "Looks like it might rain today..."

He has a good sense of humour.

But on a serious note...positive affirmations...he has so many of those and it's always genuine.

"I think it's great"
"I'm proud of you"

and of course when I tell him that I've done some baking (one of my coping techniques). And then the question comes without fail "And you didn't bring me any?!" lol He always asserts that he's joking. But a couple of times I've brought in something and it's helpful for me to be able to share that with someone. I know he truly appreciates it, and due to my isolation, I haven't had much of a chance to do that for people, so it's given me confidence.

c