Hi Summer,

I can't remember too much about the book, just that I also had this sort of disappointing feeling, it seemed like the book was promising something a bit different or that's what I imagined. I'm sorry that you were hoping to find something to help with your grief, someone who had a similar experience, but that you didn't find that in the end. 

puppet

Overall I found the book to be disappointing, but I certainly related to the shock of learning of your therapist's death in an impersonal way, which isn't typical of how we usually learn of the death of someone we feel very close to.   She found out by calling and getting a message on his answering machine, and other clients found out by seeing the obituary online or in the paper.  

I read a description of the book that said it could be summed up with something like, "I'm this amazing person with this amazing life, be impressed, but also I am filled with self-loathing, but I am amazing, oh, and my therapist died." Perhaps an unkind assessment--I didn't read the book--but maybe there was some distracting and un-relatable self-absorption? Maybe it's being made into a movie because of the apparent hobnobbing with famous people?

Anyway...you write well, Summer. If you were to write about your experience, "normal" people might get comfort from it. Of course, doing so might not interest you, or might be too painful. But there are a lot more "normal" people than rich and famous. 

Just a thought.

Hi Exploring,

Thank you for believing I'm a good writer.  I have thought about writing an article describing what I went through trying to find help after my P died, because I had to be proactive and I think I should have received more support from my P's colleagues, but my case isn't that unusual.   Also how difficult it is coming to terms with the grief when you can't attend a memorial, meet with friends and family who share the grief as we normally do when someone close to us dies.  You grieve alone and try to access that voice in your head but at first it's too painful because hearing that voice only accentuates the loss.

In the book the author wasn't given a backup T either, but she sought out a P who knew her P, which seemed to help her get some answers, and she also had lunch with her P's wife, who told her that she was special to him.  I find that very interesting because I thought therapists weren't supposed to discuss patients with anyone, including their spouses, but if their meeting really happened, it was very generous of the P's wife to meet and try to comfort the author.

Summer