One of the most powerful and helpful things my T ever said to me (and i must tell her this) was that in our first real session she said to me that she is in the therapy relationship with me for the long term and there will be times where we both stuff up or that I hate her and I will lover her and that might even be at the same time". At the time I thought she was the crazy one to be saying that. Love and Hate at the same time. Crazy. But it didn't take very long for me to realise what she...Read More...

I am definitely attached to my DH. He is somewhat of an attachment figure for me, but my main AF right now would definitely have to be T. She's the one that I am mostly attached to. She grounds me. I do share with my husband. I talk about sessions, my recovered memories, and the feelings that I am feeling in/and about therapy. He doesn't fully comprehend the traumatic experiences or pain I have been through. His childhood experiences were very different. But, he understands my parents and...Read More...

I have a journal that I write in all the time. I am sure to write in all the positives that T brings to my life, all the progresses that I have made in such a short time with her, and how I know healing is meant for me. This usually allows me to realize that I am just struggling through something at the moment and that it will eventually pass(I have a little rule with T, too, that we will talk through hard issues with honesty before any rash decisions are made in relation to our...Read More...

sorry to be lateRead More...

TAS, After 16 months, I still refer to trauma and abuse as "the t word" and "that thing you said" as I can't even acknowledge those terms are applicable to my life. I'm still in denial about my dx of C-PTSD, and if my T handed me a book on trauma he knows he'd get it handed straight back to him. Sometimes I think he must despair of me, but thankfully he keeps it well hidden. As for the wanting to run feeling, I think that's pretty much a given in therapy at times. I'm going through it again...Read More...

Sounds like a really symbolic dream of your current fears, discoveringme. I encourage you to talk about this with your T if you haven't already. It does help a bit. The fears seem to always be there though, and it's just indicative of how important they are to us. I'm sorry you had such a terrifying dream.Read More...

so far everyone is safe - a few have evacuated and some are ready to go if they need to. Evacuation starts just three miles from my house but isn't predicted to come in this close. They are saying the earliest it would be out is 72 hours - se we wait and pray...Read More...

YES ~ and I didn't believe her....then didn't want to believe her....then believed her and asked how long....now trying to accept it takes a while....Read More...

You guys are awesome! Thank you so much for the replies...and thanks closed doors for the article reference...I will be checking it out! Thanks, T.Read More...

bravo!Read More...

Thank you AG and HeldinCompassion for your responses. I can't write any more at the moment, but I wanted to let you know that I love my T classes so far! I actually got to pretend to be a T and a client in a practice T room. That was sooo hard!! I don't know how T's make it seem so seamless and normal. It was very awkward to be a pretend T. The client part was easier, of course. I'll write more at another time. Thanks for reading my ramblings.Read More...

Hey R2G, Sorry, I decided this was better off deleted. More of a self referential rant than anything, spurred on by a transient annoyance. Thanks for your reply, though.Read More...

I was about to write out my experience of this and read R2G's account above and I could have written it word-for-word. I did everything she said!!!!! It takes time, it takes ruptures, it takes a truck load of heartache, pain and misery. It is a gradual process (for me) and by my T being consistent and giving me what i needed - i now feel attached. Talking through that pain has and still is very painful. Me telling her that I needed her - just about killed me. But now I can say it to her face...Read More...

oooh, I'd have done the same thing! I actually went to a function the other night and was terrified to go because I know that it is the same social circle that T is in, and I did NOT want to run into her! I made sure to arrive on time, and stayed only long enough to be polite before leaving, just in case T arrived later on!Read More...

Hi TAS, Just really liked what xoxo said here: I am still working through those feelings of rejection with my T but it is getting better. It has been hard for me to figure out when I'm actually being rejected vs. when I am taking something personally that I shouldn't take personally. It's tough work but going through the process really is helping me figure out where I end and others begin as I have been a bit porous. It's also helping me develop a healthy and more positive sense of self. I...Read More...

Thank youRead More...

We have had some big ruptures and each time my T has been wonderful. I think mostly because she is experienced and knew where it was coming from. Even when she did things that caused it - once I explained how she affected me - she always apologised and worked on how we both fix things for the future. Sometimes my T has caused it - she lets me be angry and admits her fault and we fix. My T always says that we are humans, both of us will make mistakes and that we need to talk it through. Each...Read More...

I can't stop thinking about this either. And I am scared that he'll get frustrated that I'm still struggling with this.Read More...

Good to hear, 3M!Read More...

Meraynjel ~ That is great you are going to give calling a crisis line a try! I think the more you talk about it and share with others, the more it will help sort this out in the best way for you and this T. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you can or should also forget. If he was sorry, if he was repentant and really taking responsiblity for his own stuff and his terrible professional boundary violations in the therapy with you, he probably would be reffering to you to consult with another T...Read More...

((((NAVYME)))) What a great email! And yeah, I agree, about needing people. I think it's great that you recognize how vulnerable it feels to put something out there and not get a response. I do that and then realize after the fact that maybe I shouldn't have done that. It's taken me a long time to get a handle on it. The email thing is hard because I think I'd be tempted to say things in email that are harder to say in person. Good luck with the promotion. I hope it comes through. And good...Read More...

I personally would loath sessions with anyone continually adjusting himself be it shoe salesman, hairdresser...or therapist. Likewise a therapist who told me that he thinks about me when we're apart would be over the line. I think it commendable that you are clear that there are certain lines therapy should not cross. Sorry that you have to deal with a professional,who should know better,disregarding basic civil behavior.Read More...

Thanks Jones. That is a great video. I have to say that I was somewhat distracted by her beautiful skin! Kashley: LOL, that is funny. That exercise (hugging yourself) is in a book I read recently. I laughed that the author suggested doing it where nobody would see.Read More...

Thank you all for the explanations. I thought the red exclamation mark was an indication of a warning and I was always afraid to open them up out of fear I'd get a virus or something worse! LOL!!!Read More...

I don't think she is saying she needs a break from you but I hope you'll tell her how you feel. My T told me I saw her for about 6-8 months and barely said anything the entire time I was there. What I remember of the sessions is talking a lot but she actually LAUGHED and said... no... I literally sat and said almost nothing the whole time. So I think if you're overwhelmed... it's easy to forget. Even now I can't remember the first year of my work with T2. Missing the content of your sessions...Read More...