MMM, This thread you started and the responses you received...BLT, AG and Kashley helped me finally understand also so Thanks...and MMM for starting it. HopefulRead More...

Hi Pixie, welcome to the forum! I admire you so much for having addressed these issues so directly, and I completely agree with the others here - therapy would be immensely helpful. If I can share something for just a moment, maybe you'll see what I mean. I lived a life that was pretty self-destructive for a while, and then "got rescued" by some dear friends, and made some massive changes in a very short time. It was like a honeymoon phase, you know? I felt empowered, and I'm pretty sure I...Read More...

Hey Meta, very interesting thread! I've been experiencing a little of what youre describing to a much lesser degree with someone I love as well, but it seems to blindside me til his reassurances help it subside. When I'm going through this, like today actually, I felt both clingy and avoidant st the same time. Like saying, "i love you, I need you" as I pull away. There are definitely triggers though - have you noticed any in your case? Like Xoxo said though, maybe it's a personality trait.Read More...

Hi Tas! I think it would be helpful for both you and your T to let him know what you're going through. Perhaps there are specific triggers he could avoid? I told my T that he fits the basic description of men I used to seek out, which was making my transference worse I guess, but there's nothing he could do about his appearance! I just wanted him to understand where I *think* part of the erotic transference has been coming from. Yaks!! Same here! Posting about it elsewhere though, hope you...Read More...

Thanks Cat. I talked to my regular T a bit about the parts stuff today and my choice to continue with him rather than switch to the parts T. Apparently I had a lot of ground to cover today and he didn't get much of a word in edgewise. Next time I'll ask him more about what he thinks. I think you are right that there seems to be some overlap in approaches and theories, even if the T doesn't strictly do IFS. Your idea about considering the general direction you and the T are going in therapy...Read More...

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I appreciate them.Read More...

I am 37 and my T is 50!Read More...

SD: I'm glad that the experience was positive for you. In and of itself it seems likely harmless enough. However, it is a slippery slope. Yes, in long term therapy things get more personal and deeper, likely for both the client and the T BUT that can be a double edged sword. Dual relationships in therapy, especially while still in therapy are prohibited for a reason and that is to protect you. I know it seems like it helps you get to know your T and likely it does, but that can interfere...Read More...

Thank you all for the kind comments. I loved reading the replies! HeldincompassionRead More...

Eliana: Thank you for your kind words. I think with time, it will get better. TASRead More...

You guys are awesome!! Thank you for all the encouraging words and support! Consider the Lilies-yup, I had stats this past semester and it made me cry too. I've heard just about everyone going into this field has had issues w/stats (my son's T, my T, my two friends that are T's). I am very fortunate that my mom is a math teacher and helped me a ton. I am eternally grateful to her for helping me through that horrible class! I think some of my worrying is about the classes and how I'll do, but...Read More...

Scattered, Consider, and BLT - Thank you for the giggle. My T has fabulous shoes. I can look at her, unless it gets intense for me, and then I just look look look at those shoes.Read More...

TAS here. I don't know how to start a post so I thought I would add to this one. I do feel extremely exhausted right now due to therapy. I have seen this therapist for at least 30 times and the level of DREAD I feel every time I go does not change. I am trying to figure out if this is normal (or no?) I must say he is kind, he listens and does not do anything that would cause ambivalence. I have been thinking of not continuing due to this, I can not seem to overcome it. I would appreciate any...Read More...

(((Liese))) Thank you for your support, it means a lot to me. W decided to retire early from work about 3 years ago and is really just waiting for me to do the same. She's a few years older than I am and I just don't feel ready to give up the one thing ( apart from being on here of course ) that keeps me in some sort of contact with the outside world. It is a drain emotionally sometimes but we'll get there somehow.Read More...

Thank you all for responding! I have some different perspectives that I hadn't thought of or some that I thought, but didn't know how to verbalize. NavyMe-I love what you said here... Beautiful! This captures the feeling in words!Read More...

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Hey Lilies, Just wanted to throw a wave at you and say - "I'm so sorry this is you, too. But I'm a little bit glad that I'm not alone in it."Read More...

Thanks Coco, I really believe you phrased it better than I. I suck at life. I just can't get comfortable at all. It is draining. You are right,this forum is basically life-saving.Read More...

Hey Jen, Recovery and relearning how to take care of ourselves isn't a linear process. For example, I made some progress this week - my T even calls it a milestone - but I also have done things that I wouldn't call progressive at all. Opposite actually. But that doesn't negate the progress I've made. The same goes for you. It's totally possible to be doing good things and making good strides but still have some weak moments. I think exploring the feelings behind your decision to get a...Read More...

((((((YAKU))))) I don't think you are being manipulative. It's not like you are manipulating her into being in a relationship with you. You already are/were in a relationship with her. You just have to draw some emotional boundaries so you can protect yourself. If you are manipulating her, then I'm doing the same with my family. My sister has been living in my basement while she tries to get a job in another state. She keeps talking about us visiting and in my mind, I am thinking that once...Read More...

(((((xoxo))))) I am sorry you are feeling so fatigued and foggy, have done so much investigation and work, and are not getting any answers. How frustrating and discouraging. This is just a wild shot in the dark, based on a recent discovery of mine, but are you drinking or eating anything that is low calorie or sugar-free that may have aspartame in it? I was getting headaches to the point of having to take off work on multiple occasions and finally figured out that it was due to all the diet...Read More...

I think it might help to study into the dynamics of Transference in a book on psychology. Try to figure out just what's going on back and forth. You probably already know transference re-enacts situations you got into with important people in your life way back. Somehow, this T may be bringing that out like no other. But that's the perfect chance to get a hold on what goes haywire in your life. I think that reading more about transference in psychology could reveal a lot to you so you can...Read More...

Welcome Skylynx. Cool name. You have come to the right place. People on here are extremely helpful.Read More...