Hey to everybody that has helped me with this. You guys are freaking awesome. I am doing better today after a rough start this morning. I wake up and feel like I am in this deep, deep hole and I can't get out no matter how hard I try. I know currently is has a lot to do with the relationship with my T and the tough time we are having. I did call back and apologize, but she didn't call me back and I didn't ask her to. I don't have her email address, so I think I am just going to write her a...Read More...

(((yo)))Read More...

(((Yaku))) I think you put it perfectly. It is a basic fundamental need to feel loved and to connect. I’m guessing that the way we think about this as adults is set very early in life in the pre verbal years, when physical touch connections were the most important ones. You are right when you say we need to get to the point of “feeling” loved , (((BLT))) yes there is huge gap between being loved and feeling loved. I’ve no doubt that my mother did/does love me in her own way, but have I / do...Read More...

((((AG))))((((CTL))))((((ELIANA))))((((LANDA))))((((LG))))) It feels so wierd to me not to know how to feel. I feel so damaged emotionally. I called my Mom yesterday and she told me that it was mean of me to call her on Sunday and launch right into everything and not wish her a happy mother's day. Meanwhile, she was the one who launched right into everything by telling me that she's insisting my brother come and my niece has to get over it. She doesn't see that there was anything wrong with...Read More...

Thank you for that Liese. After you summed it up like that I guess he was pretty cool. I just wasn't receptive. Now I can't shake off a deep feeling of embarrassment, I wasn't specially glamorous crying in front of him... Didn't help that there were no tissues available (he did try to find some, bless him). Can we make the anger come back please? :P Mmm I'm sure next session will be interesting... ((Hugs))Read More...

Yay (((Pings))) (((Draggers))) & (((AV)))! So glad each of you understood the song in the light I intended it! It's really all about giving someone strength, no? We'll make it through, we're stronger than whatever comes at us, and when we're weak or struggling, someone here will lift us up - love us through another day. StarryRead More...

BG, Thanks for the link. It was very interesting to read. In her book, Deborah Lott said that many therapists said the same thing. I can see how that plays out. I just had an incident with my T at the end of my session. My T would sometimes touch my arm as we approached the door at the end of my sessions. I really wanted to lean into him because I was sad I was leaving him and wanted to lean into him so he could comfort me but knew I couldn't so I would just make a sad face instead. He...Read More...

Hi all...haven't been posting a lot lately, hope some of you still remember me, couse I do keep my fingers crossed for all of you all the time, I ve been monotoring te forum though, just had really rough last six months... Didn't read all the answers yet, however the same thing is happening to me to...I also noticed the pattern when my transferenc is high and then low...For me is like this...One session I can bee really really close to my T and have good session and I let my T in, but then...Read More...

CTL - you are not "the only person to not understand sex" Even those of us who are able to talk about it have questions and issues depending on their experiences. What I am saying is if you have issues or questions regarding sex be it about the "mechanics", or the relationship side about it, try using the biological terms when you speak about it with your T, and see it as a sort of research project on your own wildlife documentary, if that makes any sense. You are absolutely normal for...Read More...

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Don't know if this is the same problem, but I've found that if I try to write using the quick post thing (which doesn't open a second window) my browser jumps like crazy. I have to make sure I use the full posting form. As long as I do that, I don't have a problem. I have an iPhone, so my problem may be completely different.Read More...

I didn't have to do anything all day except I did hang up my H's clothes because I enjoy it. He cleaned the carpet and made dinner, and I got two cards and some earrings from my kids and watched two movies on TV uninterrupted , and my T even texted me happy mother's day (even though I'm not his mom). My H called his mother and I figured if he could do it, I could, so I did. There was only instance of her making an exasperated sigh and one time where she made excuses for someone who hurt me,...Read More...

Thanks Joie, thats very kind of you. AVRead More...

After I turned 30 I immediately got an anti-aging facial! Drinking water and wearing sunscreen hasn't been cutting it. Interesting stuff and yes... she looks fantastic!Read More...

Aw, Beebers, that picture is so moving it makes me want to cry. ALL babies should be so cherished. Thank you so much for sharing it! And I would like to second Starfishy's motion above. SGRead More...

Yes, and often times I think my T thinks that too, NavyMe!! My T almost always responds to emails unless I ask her not to (and even then sometimes she does anyway). She will talk about the general feelings - I guess it's sort of validating - though I think almost 100% of the time I'm talking about shame so my T almost always replies with 'be compassionate with yourself' which is truly a reminder I need 100x. I can see how you'd feel like one email was more important than another one. Maybe...Read More...

thank you luci, that gives me hope! puppetRead More...

She doesn't have a PhD. All this is taking place in Germany, and in German (a foreign language to me). It is normal for the therapists over here to have nothing higher than a Bachelor's. She made me sign some shit in German, I don't know what it was. But I told my doctor about my past drinking, to cover my ass, because I knew my therapist would use this as a weapon against me. Nuts.Read More...

PS ((((DRAGGERS))))Read More...

Thanks, you are sweet, DR. I fear Ts rejection. I fear his disapproval. I did open up a little today, and did alright, but the man still sees the good in me. Like I said in either the How Youre Feeling or Say Anything threads, he thinks I'm better than I am; he has more faith in me than I do. I don't get it. I don't deserve that. I tried to explain that, but I don't think I was very expressive. Will keep learning and trying! Thanks again, StarryRead More...

Oh that would really throw me! I Skype with my T and she often moves from room to room and everytime I'm like "woah, where are you?!" It throws me off a little but then on her end, she sees me usually sitting in my car but often with a different backdrop in the background. Today, for example, it was very sunny out so I had to drive around to find a tree to get some shade, otherwise she cannot see me. So I ended up at a cemetery and she was like, "is that a tombstone behind your car?!" and I...Read More...

Forgetmenot., I feel so bad for you. The UK health system is very unique, and even though I don't live there, I hate it sometimes...their ostensible devaluation of mental health in comparison with other medical issues. BPD is a serious condition. It was good you were honest and upfront. See, you have so many positive traits. I always thought you were very insightful, and you have many strengths. You really endure a lot of suffering. I think many therapists would love to have you as their...Read More...