Hey everyone and effed, BLT, Lillies, B2W, and Butterfly, thanks for your responses. Good answers that helped. I remembered something I had forgotten, which is that it's not so much the incident itself, but what happened or didn't happen after the incident, and that it depends on the person and the circumstances. I was wondering about whether it is thought of as trauma or not because every time I read about trauma symptoms or trauma reactions or trauma patients or trauma therapies and on and...Read More...

I'm also a newbie who has found this place to be sooo helpful and encouraging with thoughtful, kind people. Thank you all so much!Read More...

effed - I'm paying a $30 copay for him to do double sessions with me (sometimes longer). He gets paid $95 by my insurance company and they cover 75 minutes. His usual (non-discounted) fee is $150 per hour. So, I am getting 2+ hours for $125, three times a week. For H's sessions (which go through my single case agreement), he only gets paid $100 for a single hour. Also, sometimes the Skype sessions haven't been charged for (though I didn't know at the time and kept paying as if they were),...Read More...

Aw, thanks all. HIC, you nailed the lyrics that almost brought tears to my eyes. Such a poignant song, "Think of Me." I fell asleep thinking of that one. The song she sings to her father in the cemetery does me in at parts, too. "Wishing you were somehow here again..." I think I'm just aglutton for punishment! Really, most of the major songs have at least a line or two that bring T to mind. Thanks for not making me feel pathetic.... And yeah, AV, these singers aren't as good as Crawford and...Read More...

thanks TN. i really appreciate it. take care friend.Read More...

i think this is called somatic re-experiencing. i experience this sometimes regarding being beaten by my dad when i was little.Read More...

This subject is still a stopping point/wall for me... It bugs me... I've had one appointment since we broached this subject. I had originally agreed that we didn't need to reschedule my appointment from last week to the weekend, and then wound up calling and requesting the session anyway... My T made the appointment for me, and we spent a lot of the session discussing the idea of discussing the anger/worthiness issue. I have a couple of issues... 1- I feel all off kilter with the subject, I...Read More...

((starry)) thank you.Read More...

Transference with my T isn't as intense aas it used to be, but she's still there with me in my everyday life no matter what. Sometimes I don't realize this, but I find that whenever Im stressed or have really bad anxiety, I automatically think about the times when I would just let T hold me, and we would sit in silence and all I could hear was the sund of her heartbeat. Thinking of that always grounds me, puts me at ease, and I end up getting this really goofy grin on my face that I don't...Read More...

thanks everyone for your supportive responses.Read More...

HIC, have you ever tried applying acupressure to your wrist: http://www.quickandsimple.com/...-wrist-080205-lg.jpg Glad to read this.Read More...

hi blanket. yeah. i could get a second job. but the treatment will take years. that would mean getting a second job and paying 15k out of pocket for about 6 years. maybe more. i feel like id rather be sick than pay this man $80,000. is that crazy?Read More...

BLT, Thanks...that's good to know! I never would have guessed that. HopefulRead More...

Thank you for this Cat, it finally explains to me one of the reasons I've been feeling so frustrated with T about transference. Whenever I bring it up, I am hoping for her to tell me where these feelings are coming from, why I am having them, or at least what I can do about it. But she won't. She states the same thing every time, something we both agreed on why it makes sense that I feel very attached to her. It's as if she is waiting for me to continue the conversation and tell her what I...Read More...

AG: 65 sunny days a year!!! OMW! Do they pay people some form of compensation to live there? That is awful. That is 300 crummy days a year! You have my sympathy.Read More...

** Possible SU triggers** kashley, Thanks for the hugs and kind words. I've talked about it with my T in general terms before - he knows I have two attempts in my past - but I told him that while I have a plan, I've made a deal with myself I'm not allowed to follow through until my son has left home (it's a long wait, he's only 9). When I made a flippant comment about my state of mind on Thursday, my T asked me a direct question, but I stayed silent for a while and then talked around it,...Read More...

Well this movie isn't from my childhood, but my T reminds me soooooooo much of the mom from The Blind Side. She's Southern, (TX not Miss. though) she's sweet but if needed, she WILL take anyone down. T is more of a cowgirl too; classy cowgirl ;D I knew T reminded me of someone but I just couldn't put my finger on it until now that I'm rewatching the Blind Side for the 2nd time haha. I prefer my T thoughRead More...

This weekend it has been extremely helpful to have H home after a week he was gone for work. It is nice he sort of 'gets' my transference feelings so I can vent to him about it, and when I'm suddenly shaking and crying he knows why. I have kept what I say to him real short, because when he worries about me, it just adds to his stress, which I don't want to do. And mostly I need time to myself to journal, think and cry, and he's more hands on around here with the kids. One thing that is bad,...Read More...

Oh, I just lifted this from Wikipedia: Nonsense and fantasy. That sums it all up sometimes, doesn't it?Read More...

FMN: It seems all you need to do to put yourself in a better mood is play piano to your favourite song, "what a fool believes"! CTL: I can see you are a little disturbed about that Barbie song Don't take my comments to heart....Barbie song is great!Read More...

I listened and survived. I listened with Boo, so she could hear "Mommy when she was little," like she is now. It feels like I am almost five. I predicted before I heard it what I thought might be on it and was kind of right (about the singing and reading part of a book). Inside, it felt like it was a specific book and then I thought, "No, I don't think it was," but it ended up being the book that part was saying it was, which is "The Monster at the End of This Book." It got cut off before I...Read More...

BuzyD, Welcome to the forums. I'm sorry for the pain you find yourself in, nothing ever hurts quite so much as losing your first love. I can understand why you are asking for help here as I am sure that how you're feeling about needing your ex-girlfriend tracks pretty closely a lot of feelings that members here discuss about their therapists. In many of our cases, those feelings about our therapists end up being feelings about unfulfilled needs and longings from childhood. I don't know if...Read More...

So glad to hear you go tot see both T's and things are settling down for you. I truly hope this means you can go on your vacation in a better, more secure frame of mind and that your T offered some contact while you are gone. Please update us when you can. TNRead More...

((((b2w)))) Ah, that was a good one. Yes, a little below the belt, but you are right that I started it with the belt thing. LieseRead More...

Hello Butterfly Nice to see you From what you say, your t sounds a lot like mine. She has very strict boundaries - no out of session contact at all and she has two weeks off christmas, easter and a month in August. She also has a small room. I know a lot of people here have ts with different set up to this but I got the impression a lot are this strict as well so I don't think it's unusual. Mine also made it very clear after our one initial meeting, that I couldn't just not turn up after...Read More...