I didn't. I have never had anyone that I could bare my emotions to. I've tried a few times, but my emotions are too intense for people to handle, which, in turn made my best emotional support my imaginary friends as a child, my cat, and the music I listened to drown out the thoughts, feelings in my head.Read More...

No, I wouldn't. Not at all. Never. That counts for my stepmother and father who raised me. But my Mother. Difficult but I think, yes I wouldn't mind having a talk with her if she was my neighbor from time to time. Bring her some pot plants. Exchange cakes and meals. The occasional dinner gathering. Definitely a Christmas card through the letter box.Read More...

I do, yes. I remember when my little half sister was born and I came from school and Dad made a rocking motion with his arms which indicated that she had been born. To hold her for the first time was wonderful. I wish I could have had the freedom to look after her more but my stepmother was EXTREMELY possessive of her because my Dad had abused her caretaking of me when they argued. I had a great relationship with my grandmother when I was a child and my family across seas. They really doted...Read More...

Pretty much always. According to my mom I've been an intense hypochondriac as far back as SHE can remember... Though I was born 3 months early so maybe people treated me like I was fragile or something.Read More...

Hey Becca here. Thanks to everyone who read and replied to my rant from yesterday. Well therapy didn't go so well today. I'm done. I really can't afford to go anyway. Some of the stuff going on in my life, which I did not elaborate on yesterday, involves my job and my 14 year relationship with a man who wants to marry me, but I refuse. I have been cut to part-time in my job. I am running out of money. I don't live with my boyfriend. Things are not going well at all and I told T tonight, that...Read More...

Autumn, Good luck to you. This situation would be quite difficult, especially working with a sub T and then having some attachment form. I think you are very brave to be admitting these feelings, and the fact that you can see your own needs in relation to working more effectively with sub T shows that it would be a good idea to follow your heart on this matter. I like what everyone said about discussing these feelings with subT, and of course, what my good friend Somedays said about throwing...Read More...

Thank you- all of you- for your support. I guess I'll see Cowboy again next Week, it'll be three week break. the kinda thing that would've totally floored me with Guru t, but doesn't seem to matter at all with Cowboy. we'll see how it goes. I dunno what I'm doing- why am I there? However- I appreciate your support. I'm trying to care about it, as best I can...be well, dears, BBRead More...

Cat, hi. I never posted here, because it was a bit triggering. But, it is good for me to face my feelings about my dogs. Just one more feeling thing I stuffed down I see. I re-homed my two dogs when I was depressed and just felt so overwhelmed with all I had to take care of. I think I understand some of what you are going through and wanted you to know I care. Many hugs!Read More...

Thank you so much Liese, Starrynights, hopeful and Lamplighter (who was NOT too late at all!!) Thank you for understanding my fears are very real for me and for making me feel like what I felt mattered since you took the time to respond. It means a lot to me to have someone "care" and I will hold your advice close for when something like this happens again. It is so much better to admit to T you are hurt, so T can help to fix it.Read More...

Monte, oh yeah, the dread and despair and hopelessness would be settling in to me by now too. Hang in there. xoxo LieseRead More...

nah, i don't mind at all, especially since it's the truth. i know that ... i'm just a little intimidated at the time being. i'll come around ... i hope. thanks for your words, i do appreciate it.Read More...

((((FMN)))) AG said it so beautifully that I don't have anything to add except to say that hopefully when you feel more secure with yourself, differences of opinion won't throw you so much. That is what's happening with me. Differences of opinion aren't as threatening to my sense of self as much as they used to be. It's a welcome relief. LieseRead More...

Thank you for writing this, heldincompassion! This is exactly how I feel, too. I have been racking my brain trying to understand these attachment feelings (because I haven't talked about it yet with T) and this is how I feel. My mother was also always anxious, and overprotective and controlling...she always wanted to prevent "the worst (in her mind) from happening." Well, I think what happened was that I was always trying to make sure she didn't worry, that I never felt able to really open...Read More...

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Thought I had replied to this - I think I did but did the big Delete. I have had a few weeks of half crappy sessions and 2 this past week. What is it in the universe??? I told T after the first one that it was a crappy session. The 2nd one I told her she sat too close, was not intuitive enough, was minimising my pain, was rushing me through stuff too quickly, was attacking me and had cornered me and that is not a good thing, was not listening to me etc etc. She has rocked my trust again and...Read More...

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Yes, we can!Read More...

Hi Jane, I don't have the same feeling as you do about Easter, but I do have terrible feelings about Christmas and my birthday (they are not far from each other). I hate my birthday- don't want to celebrate and just want to be alone. I hate having to try and pretend to be happy when it is one of the saddest days of my life. It's hard when you have kids and they get so excited about birthdays, and so for their sake I have to pretend to be happy. Then there is Christmas...I used to love...Read More...

yes he always changes the time and day?but he only sees me once a month, he has tonnes of people he must see!Read More...

((((Yaku)))) That's s frustrating! The same thing happened today with my choir - we rehearsed with another choral group unexpectedly and, of course, had to sing songs that we had never even gone over (but they knew quite well), and some of the woman in our group were left crying afterward because a select few in the other group were laughing at us, although they didn't understand that we hadn't gone over the song even once. Being left in a situation where you are totally unprepared is really...Read More...

Well...it does make me feel better to know that stressful family vacations can cause even the best if us to have meltdowns I saw everyone again tonight and things were fine, but nothing specific brought up. When others asked how our vacation was, she replied that it was a comedy of errors. I could tell she was referring to the tension felt with her husband and me - she's the type who always has to be right and in control. I am in a place to let it go, though. The memories - good and chaotic...Read More...

Ok... So I need to try to just go with it and just feel the shame. Thank you all so much for reassurance. Morgs - You're right. My T thinks however I am is ok, I'm the one who is doubtful! JMB - I'm glad you are learning tears are ok, perhaps I am too. And I'm reassured when you say you don't always know what it's about. It just is, for now, perhaps. Hi Starry - thanks for encouragement. Sometimes bits of this therapy journey feel too scary, which is why it's good to have somewhere like here...Read More...

ROFL too! I might have to recycle that next time Cowboy says it.Read More...

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I like it!!Read More...