Ninn, thank you so much for your compassion and understanding, though I'm sorry that you do understand! I will definitely talk to him, because what was once only yearly has certainly grown exponentially, and is very much related to needing an outlet for feelings that overwhelm me. I first began seeing him for self-sabotaging behaviors, so combined with the other things that come to light, this may not surprise him! Thank you for sharing your experience, and for the encouragement. Hugs, StarryRead More...

Held I like the way you construed what she said. It makes sense. I'm glad you are happy. And as screwed up as she has been, she earned some points in my book for validating that you were just standing up for yourself and/or trying to take control of your therapy. Some other rotten T might try to put it all on you. LieseRead More...

(((FMN))) (((SD))) (((muff))) Thanks, you all, for posting. I have been reading, but am just at a loss for what to say, even though it's my own thread. We (T and I) are coming up against a bunch of my protectiveness over my parents and my massive inability to believe in how bad things were. Last night, T got pretty confrontational about my seeing the reality of the stuff I have described to him, because I'm so stuck in denial. At one point, he actually said it makes him feel a little crazy...Read More...

So... I emailed her about it... And she emailed back- She was gracious and open as always about how "I'm the expert" and how if it doesn't resonate with me, it may not be the answer etc... And now I feel like a toolRead More...

Thankful for this forum to come to and read from others after a week of complete frenzy....good and bad.Read More...

Hi LK, I'm sorry I don't have any good wisdom or advice to offer, as I have exactly the same response to anger as you do. I can be absolutely screaming and raging on the inside, but on the outside, I freeze up, clamp down, and it all goes inward. Just went through a hellish weekend because of it, actually, and finally vented privately to a very dear friend (lucky her, right)? I hate what it does to me on the inside, it makes me feel so poisoned. However, letting it out is really terrifying...Read More...

Thanks number9, closed doors and Liese. I have a lot to work out.Read More...

It is really important for you and I would definitely ask any potential T's what their policy is. Someone posted a list of questions to ask potential T's a while back - maybe search for that and it might have some other ideas for you. Good luck. I am so sorry your T is retiring - that is one of my worst fears. SomedaysRead More...

Thank you for your thoughts and sharing your stories, All. I'm looking forward to my meeting with my T/mentor this week. It couldn't come soon enough as the last week has been rather hellish in some ways. I'm not sure what type of mood I'll be in when I get to T's office. I might still be in angry/fighter mode from dealing w/my ex's latest s**t. Or I might be in my optimistic "this doesn't phase me and I can handle it mode". I seem to be vacillating between those two lately. Sometimes I wish...Read More...

Scary stuff, and no doubt would have an negative impact on any child/adult. The memories are there now without the feelings attached,because they have been repressed. Intolerable feelings towards parents can be very threatening to a child. Safer to hide and deny them, until there is an overload of pain/shame/anger/hurt. We might wonder then where all these anxious feelings come from when we are older? An overload of pain from the past can cause a lot of unexplained fear, and confusion in our...Read More...

Sorry. This must be confusing. It's good if your T can help you. But, I have found a very helpful T at a much lower price, personally. When we were paying out of pocket, it did end up being over $1,000 a month, but once we switched to insurance, it was much less. It doesn't seem like you have an intense attachment where it actually is extremely painful to leave this T, as you are OK looking around. Not that you WANT to leave him, but it doesn't feel like life or death if I'm understanding...Read More...

(((((COGS)))))) How are you doing? Any better? I hope so! Thinking of you! xoxoxoxo LieseRead More...

Wow, TN, sorry to interject here, but your insurance company pays him $80.00? Mine pays my T $55.00. If you don't mind telling me what insurance company you are with and what plan. You can PM me if you like. My copay is $30.00 so your T is making out like a bandit compared to my T.Read More...

FWIW, I would *totally* pay $20 plus shipping for one of those, assuming I had the money, which I currently don't. But it doesn't seem overpriced to me at all.Read More...

Pink, I'm sorry you had to deal with a therapist like that but I'm glad you had the strength to end it and move forward. As for new T, she sounds pretty legit but in the end it all comes down to you and how comfortable you feel with her. I agree with SomeDays in giving her maybe a few more sessions to get more of a feel or her. I hope everything works out!Read More...

(((BLT)))(((TN)))(((kansas)))(((Sadly)))(((Forgetmenot))) thank you so much for all your words and support, they mean a lot to me and they helped me immensely to make sense of all this! I wanted to come back to this topic much sooner but real life happenned and I was unable to update it until now. I had my session with T yesterday, and asked him about the reason why he would want to see me in his other practice, and after hearing his explanation I felt such a fool for distrusting him so...Read More...

you guys are so awesome and supportive. held, yaku, ninn, liese and blt all said some really wonderful and helpful things. so far things are working out well and my reassurance that my being in therapy doesnt preclude having a nice life together has been well accepted.Read More...

Even though I'm late- it's made my day too! thanks for sharing Cat. BeebsRead More...

Ouch! I'm sorry- I hope your T is printing the emails before deleting them, as they should be part of your file I would think, especially if they contain things pertaining to therapy?Read More...

((((FMN))))) Nice to see you. Glad you could pop in. You have to take care of yourself first so not to worry about your absence. So glad you will be getting the help you need although I'm sorry you therapy might end with the T you've adored. Oh, yes the identity issues and the fantasy. Know it all too well. Good luck and keep us updated when you can. LieseRead More...

((((KANSAS))))) Just checking in on you. You've been quiet. How is it going? LieseRead More...

Everyone, thank you for your kind words and support! I love this board!Read More...

*sigh* If only they could be there for us whenever we needed them instead of on some schedule which might not have anything to do with what actually works...Read More...

The Wizard of Oz has always been one of my favorites. I even love watching it now. It never ceases to entertain me although I had never thought too much in depth about it at all so I really loved reading this thread and reading everyone's thoughts about the movie. All the parallels to the therapy experience. Very touching. Great thread, TN. And I love that you wore Ruby Slippers today. I was also afraid of the flying monkeys and had to leave the room when I was little when that scene came...Read More...