Thanks for the hugs BLT... sending some back to you! (((BLT))) (((AG))) my boss was out of line, and I knew that, and T and I talked about it.. but I still had no out. It was do or die (figuratively) and I thought the pain of doing would be short lived... wrong. There's a saying I've heard "you're only as sick as your secrets" and that really hit home with me, in the most painful of ways. Some secrets that NEED to be shared, well, they can be, but not necessarily with the person/people you'd...Read More...

It has taken a while to get all that info from my questions. 1. He has a new partner and is separated from his wife. 2. He has two kids a boy and a girl ages 13 and 15 3. He played the trumpet as a young boy and his sister played the cornet. He also had piano lessons. 4. I know how old he is (53) and I know his birthday too. Dead chuffed with myself. He told me all of this. I even asked him last summer WHY he no longer is with his previous wife/partner and he told. Confidentially. Gosh. TMI...Read More...

It is hard. I presume some clients are hard to like for a t. But some clients are easy to like. We always worry we are the 'hard' ones but of course we want them to love us to bits. I suppose it is just part of the delightful dance of therapy (said slightly tongue in cheek) that we have to go through. How are you with this now, Effed?Read More...

Hi Nanabee I'm a new member but just wanted to chime in too because i have related to your situation. I have spent a lot of my life being vague on the one hand an in an uncontrolled rage on the other. I haven't been able to meld the two sides of myself but have a very kind and patient T who encourages me and makes me feel supported and safe, two things that i never got from my parents. When i was a kid i always wanted to be a dog because they looked to me to have such a happy stress free...Read More...

I would give it at the end. OR give it at the beginning incase I feel mad as hell at him by the end. LOL I have done both. I usually hand the card over early and say " I am giving you it now cos I have no idea how I will feel about you by the end of the session so it is safer to give you it now, that way at least you get it." When I am very nervous of giving something I wait until the end - becos all the way through I am still weighing up whether or not to give it and then I make a last...Read More...

Morgs, you make me laugh. Trust an Aussie to make a competition out of swearing - and an Olympic sport at that! Ditto to your story. I could qualify myself and regularly let rip with a few appropriately placed words to describe situations or to add emphasis. My T says it when appropriate or when describing what I said ....Read More...

I've certainly been fleeing from the feelings at least. Ive spent a week sitting on the sofa eating junk food and reliving old hurts. Before dragging myself up and trying to figure out why it hurts so much. Been reading lots of stories on here of therapists moving away and realised I didn't have any of those terrible feelings of loss until I tried to move on. Then I was literally shaking in the first session with group T. Which probably didn't help me to like her. But I stuck it out (put...Read More...

Re: Is my therapist flirting with me?Read More...

that is pretty funny!Read More...

That's interesting JD. I do think that as we're able to face a lot of dark, difficult, and painful stuff, we do seem to appear more solid and authentic to other people. I think it's because we're no longer running from things that are inside of us. I still think you're really brave and I agree you're going to come out of all of this a different and stronger person.Read More...

Because my P has consistently and patiently welcomed me back after I have "quit" over minor disruptions, I realized last week that I no longer feel the need to do this anymore. Thank you P!Read More...

My t doesn't have a wedding ring and ive seen her out walking around in town twice and she's not with a partner. it makes me feel better unfortunately, that i can safely assume that she is not with someone but this is just an assumption of course. she could well be in a very happy relationship. i dont knwo what i would do if i found out she was with someone. id be very sad and jealous. definitely jealous. and very wishful. there is a hefty amount of pain incorporated within all this *sigh*.Read More...

crave her approval all the time. sometimes i want to seduce her. i often still wonder how i feel toward her. how id feel if id never met her in the therapy situation and would i still like her the same way,erotically. im not sure. i do want to impress her with what i can do yet at the same time i am scared about what she will think about what i do so its a double edged sword. ive wanted to impress her with how i dress but id feel so ashamed and studpid because she is clever enough to know...Read More...

I've "quit" several times in the past 2 years and only stayed away for 5 weeks. My P always welcomed me back graciously and never asked questions unless I raised the issue. I've never really felt ashamed that I quit until recently. In the past, I felt it was a necessity, perhaps an attempt to protect myself from being hurt, having been hurt before in therapy. Recently I said I was going to quit again but went back after 2 weeks. As we talked about it, and we've had some very good sessions...Read More...

It sounds like your T was inappropriate and you DH is being like a normal DH sometimes: insensitive. Men. LOL And you are sensitive to such friction because of your past. I am sorry it was so rough for you and I am glad you posted here as it probably helped vent some of it and we can send hugsRead More...

My T also has a notebook she has out during our sessions... and every now and then when something rather big gets discussed, she will write something down...But, she always seems to recall specifics from emails and previous sessions - So my assumption is that she takes notes on the session afterward, and possibly reviews notes prior to sessions. Perhaps it's just challenging to think that she'd actually retain all that information about me, things I've said, reactions I've had etc without...Read More...

DaRock Talk about pressure. You are going to be walking this fine line here trying not to be too needy and you won't be able to relax and enjoy the relationship. I'm sorry you feel that way about her. Hopefully you can work through your issues with your T and everything will just go smoothly. LieseRead More...

Wow thank you so much for all your great replies! It never stops to amaze me that sharing fears and having them validated and seeing that we all have them makes me feel immediately better! Need to keep practicing I understand life happens and (although unlikely) my T can indeed die. The thing is, my relationship with him is pretty much the first honest and deep relationship I've ever had (sad and depressing i know) so I'm not as optimistic about getting over him and finding someone else to...Read More...

My T's receptionist is her daughter-in-law. Their relation hasn't really caused any problems for me, although I do have other issues with the receptionist. Most of the time she is very pleasant and cheerful and conversational, but that has been greatly overshadowed by two major rifts between us over the past 3 yrs -- one of them recent. I was experiencing major frustrations over scheduling and having panic that there was no room for me in T's life because it was a constant battle to get the...Read More...

Re: What do you do?Read More...

So I have been trying not to peek at my T on FB but not very successfully. Yesterday, she posted her engagement photos which are beautiful but also shows her being very vulnerable with her boyfriend. I am completely obsessed (at least that's how it feels) in learning more about her life and what she's doing, with whom, and when. I have never been so curious about anyone in my life. I know its bad for my continued therapy, yet I continue to engage in the bad behavior. Oy, story of my life.Read More...

POOF.........GONE! Easy for me to say, because I don't deal with any of this. If I did, I would have to make- "under the table" my permanent home.Read More...

Oh, yeah, talk to NewT about it because I'm just speculating here. I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. Only can try to relate your experience to mine. Glad NewT is supportive. That's great. Liese Done quite a bit of head banging myself.Read More...

Athenacus, I read the article the other day and meant to tell you that i enjoyed it also. Some people really have a gift and a passion and I think the author has both. Thanks for sharing it. LieseRead More...

I'm hearing that the silence gets more comfortable as the relationship gets more comfortable. Like orbit, I often freeze and can't find the right words. I start rambling and not even making sense to myself and keep asking her if I'm making sense. Luckily, the silences aren't often - but that's because I will usually ramble on because the silence makes me uncomfortable. I just don't like it when it's quiet and I know she's looking at me and I must look so stupid. I want to be invisible. My T...Read More...