Dear Little Me, I don't post much these days (for a few reasons- not important though), but your post caught my attention. Hold on to your potatoes"- what a perfect rule to live by (assuming potatoes is a good thing for ya) potatoes for me is a staple- something grounding- and basic. I just love it...and so timely for me. I am trying- perhaps too hard to be done with therapy. My thing is...I don't know whether or not I am leaving for the right reasons. Last night I went online and took all...Read More...

Thanks Alpaca, that is really lovely.Read More...

Great, Cat, now I have that theme song stuck in my head. I will provide socks and slippers and a space heater for your toes to keep them toasty in the meantime!Read More...

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Hi Greenleaf, Since your original question was about therapy, allow me to jump back to that topic. For the past year, I have been going through a stormy relationship with my T. It started out distrustful, became amazing when I developed a strong attachment to him, then it crashed and has been deteriorating ever since. I am seeing a Psychoanalyst so he works with transference a lot. We are both seeing a pattern repeat from my real life relationships into the therapeutic relationship. It takes...Read More...

Incogntio, It sounds like your parents, or your mom, were shaming and humiliating when you expressed your emotions. Humiliation is a horrid emotion that gets entagled with your development and sense of Self. I understand better now. That is something very, very difficult to deal with if you are still carrying that with you-amplified in the transference. given that, i have to add that you really have come a long way in being able to talk about how you feel with your therapist. It seems you...Read More...

It's funny... speaking of Good Will Hunting, I had watched that before embarking on my therapeutic journey. At the time, the Robin Williams character seemed like the perfect therapist. Now I think back, and I cringe. Strangling your client? Meeting outside of the office? Disclosing your wife's farting habits? Talk about loose boundaries! Clearly not very realistic. I mean, even getting up from my chair in T's office feels like a huge deal. !!!Read More...

Thanks for your input! I guess maybe the reason I still do miss old T a lot at times is because I wasn't my choice to leave her. I was in a program where the government paid for my counseling but it only lasted until I turned 18. Even then, I had to leave her a month before I actually turned 18 cos old T had quit working there and was in her own practice. I wanted to continue with her, but we just couldn't afford it. I feel like I have invested a lot in new T which is why I'm confused as to...Read More...

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Hi Alpaca and Liese, Thanks for the replies and for sharing your perspectives. I do think T's reaction is due at least somewhat to something besides caring about me. When I described how she is about all this in a little more detail to a therapy savvy friend who has a psych degree, her guess was that T was either once *in* a situation similar to the one I was, or was very close to one and that this might be calling up something of a response in her. I do notice that she seems more disturbed...Read More...

Thank you all for the wonderful replys. Anger and fear both emotions I split off many yrs ago are working hard at becoming part of me again, I find I can feel anger bodyu in a different way now a way I can't deny, also fear, I am feeling fear in lots of situations I previously didn't and its horrible but I guess until I take back ownership completely it will feel foreign. Its only now as I become aware of these feelings I realise how numb I have been most of my life, taking directions from...Read More...

Oh I love this discussion! Makes me forget how crummy things are right now...but let's see hmmm...what do I do for fun? -jam out to the wonderful Celine Dion! -bake -experiment with make up and hair -write -theatre (whether performing or behind the scenes I love it all!) -watch my shows which are NCIS, Bones and more recently The New Girl, Hot in Cleveland, and Spartacus -be a lazy butt with my kitty (when Im in my hometown) -sew (I've come to realize it relaxes me) -LAUGH! (I laugh at...Read More...

Oh my very dear Echoes - to post so much of what you suffer must be so very exhausting - you give so much - sometimes too much of your dear self While I'm not on the extreme levels of the spectrum, apart from almost chronic amnesia, I empathise with you on many of those areas!! Love, Morgs xxRead More...

Thanks everyone for your replies It's an interesting dichotomy. I totally get the disconnect that can occur between intellectualizing and experiencing. On the other hand, I almost feel like I'm playing dumb sometimes as I listen to her talk around something, and all the while I'm thinking "oh she means, 'enactment'". For example. LOL. It feels like I am not being completely honest, which I suppose is no big surprise. Months on, I still struggle with opening up completely. But I do like...Read More...

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I don't kow if my T has noticed, but I do definitely think my voice has changed literally and figuratively. I think because I had to grow up so quickly, I had like a very mature sounding voice when I was in elementary school (on the phone people used to confuse me for my mom or my sisters). Because of therapy, I noticed my voice has gotten somewhat softer and lighter and less harsh. In a figurative way, I've been able to speak my mind more and stand up for myself and not let people walk all...Read More...

Cat I can empathize with how conflicted you feel right now. It's not an easy place to be. At all.Read More...

Thank you both It was a very good first session. I felt comfortable and was able to open up. She asked pertinent questions and came up with some interesting insights. She has an approach which appeals to me. She's a Jungian so related my life story to mythology, archetypes and the collective unconscious. This might put some off but I think it could be right up my street! But generally I feel very positive about it and hope I've found someone who can help me with the next few steps of my...Read More...

Thank you both very much! Kansas- I'm very stubborn as well and even though I'd like to see myself as a really nice, sweet person who hates confrontations and is very emotional and sensitive, I tend to get very very very aggressive when I need to be. Thanks for the wave tee hee. I won't jump for joy until I finally get to see my T again lol. Echoes- knowing my T, I'm pretty sure it won't be a disaster after all now that I've taken the time to think rationally about the whole situation. I...Read More...

your T is most likely trying to urge you to explore your transference towards him/her. that is what is most helpful about therapy. so if you arent forthcoming with that info regarding your feelings towards the T, they may dig a bit and try to find connections to draw it out of you. but perhaps the T should be telling you thats what they are trying to do? if you're confused say so to your T. if the explanation makes sense thats great. if not, keep trying to understand why they do it but most...Read More...

Continuing to feel all the love from you guys. Trying not to have my usual self-loathing reaction for getting myself noticed and having comfort. Awww, Echs, it wasn't necessary to move anything. I didn't feel bad for the discussion and find it informative and like if anything I'm involved in helps somebody, but it was sweet of you to think of that anyway. Lots of hugs!Read More...

FMN, I think it's really hard work to get through trauma and what you are describing sounds a lot like what I did. Therapy does not take place for just 50 minutes a week (or more if you have multiple sessions, but you get my drift). The real work is done in the processing you do in between. As you have those "aha" moments and gain new insight and understanding, you often end up going back through your past and processing all over again bringing the new understanding to bear. For me, this...Read More...

Hi greenleaf, it's nice to meet you. I also had a terrible experience with my oldT which caused me to have PTSD over the very harmful actions he took in my regard. He abruptly terminated me and then when I fell apart (outside his office in my car) he approached me while I was in agonizing grief over what he just did and decided I was suicidal and called the police on me! They forced me to go to the hospital crisis center for evaluation even though by that time I had stopped crying, swore I...Read More...