(((PF))) I dont have anything to do with my mum for similar reasons. I moved 400miles from my FOO and then my parents split and she moved in round the corner. I did my best, but her abuses continued, my children suffered. In the end I moved house, so I'm now 3 miles away. I never see her. She has spent the 10 years up here telling people I'm a bad person - how much I let her down (she was doing that all the while eating every day at my house and having me help her all that time). So, she has...Read More...

Maybe I've read Freud way too much for my own good. I know I shouldn't give my therapist a gift no matter how small. Besides, when she reminds me of the rule and refuses my gift, I will just keel over and squish off to another planet, I will be so embarrassed!Read More...

Words are beyond HUGE in my life. Like ginormous. And, yes I do sometimes get stuck on rhyming words in my head. But that always feels playful. (I really like alliteration too. ) -RTRead More...

starfish - it's priceless when the kids tell us they love us. I have teengagers who have a hard time saying it, but it does come out every so often! RT - thank you for the words of encouragement! You're right - it's never too late. I'm so glad some golden nuggets have come from this painful process of therapy. PFRead More...

((((veryhopeful))))Read More...

RT and Cat, Thank you for these excellent responses. I want to respond in more depth later, when there's time, but for now I just want to say how much I appreciate your responses.Read More...

No. I have 2 threads - one about the abandonment trauma triggered by my caseworkers failing me, and this one about how alone I feel due to that support falling apart and having limited support from my T. Sorry Trying to process what happened today at my Ts. I let her do things for me and I feel a bit yuck about it. Like I violated my own boundaries in the process. It felt really really uncomfortable and wrong, her making all those calls to try to help me. She phoned me a total of THREE times...Read More...

Oh, Exploring! If only I could believe, even a little bit, that this was true.... -RTRead More...

Just today, my T told me he recently read the book, Waking The Tiger. He told me about some of it and related it to my situation with trauma and anxiety. Thought I'd see if it's available through Nook. LJBRead More...

I used to book childcare for my toddler and then have to go pick her up right after therapy It was hard going. Now she is in school and I have therapy on fridays (different T), which is my day off from work. It's a long drive, so 1 hour of therapy takes 4 hrs of my day - and when I get home I often just get in bed until 3pm - when I pick her up from school. It often means I'm not in a great place over the weekend, as I'm processing stuff. sbRead More...

HIC, Sounds like a compelling point of connection--and I think your T did a good job balancing your needs with the degree to which she shared. As long as she was accurately monitoring your comfort level, that is. My T has shared having had struggles, and I believe her--while at the same time perceiving her current life as perfect!Read More...

That would get me really pissed off, CD. Not even talking to you about it. Plus, if this is what he really thinks and is what he's writing down as your primary diagnosis, what is he offering as treatment? I would consider it malpractice to make a serious diagnosis, not inform the patient and not offer treatment. (Regardless of the issue. ) Have you considered calling his office and confronting him? Or at least ask some very pointed questions of the nurse. Grrr... -RTRead More...

(((((YAKU))))) I didn't get to read your original post. Just wanted to send hugs. I know how awful it feels when triggered so much that posts have to come down. Hope you feel better soon.Read More...

Hi yaku. My heart really goes out to you. Feeling hated by the person you want to love and accept you is so painful. And I can agree that attachment has been all those things you mentioned and more. I want to tell you there is hope for moving forward. Unfortunately, it’s been a very slow process. I’m not sure if this is true for everyone, but I can share what I learned from another T that I saw for one session. She said I would feel what I feel with or without my T. She said I feel hated...Read More...

Last evening T called to say she has an ear infection and cannot fly (she is in Florida visiting her son). She said today's and Thursday appointments are cancelled. We have a third appointment scheduled for Saturday (because T thought we needed to be doing 3x/wk right now), but I may not be available due to waiting for movers. I won't know until Friday. So, last night I dreamed. I dreamed that I was waiting for my session with T. OldT (yes, THAT oldT) comes up to me and takes me to her...Read More...

Thanks RM for your input. Skylynx - You're right, he doesn't know my feelings. He'll be gone for what feels like an extremely long time. The few groups I found interesting don't start until the fall. Thanks for your thoughts! You guys have been helpful! PFRead More...

RT I am so very sorry. I know how it feels like the bottom of your world has fallen out and you are in free fall. T wants to see you and getting ill prevented her from keeping her word. Try to remember the good things. How she is there for you other times. How well she understands you. If you have any good emails then go back and read them. If you have a transition object, keep it close. Hold onto the good between you. I know this is hard. I've been there too. Try to keep busy and make some...Read More...

That was a great reminder TAS. Thanks.Read More...

I wish I had known years previous how much a back-up can help when your main t is away. I suffered agony with separation anxiety and even had to go to the emergency room when T went on vacation. I felt I should be loyal, or that it wouldn't do any good to see someone. Phooey on loyalty, I should have helped my own self.Read More...

SB: May I ask how you make it through all week without contact? This is one of the things I continually struggle with and has been a sticking point, even when I ask he says no. Currently in a rift over therapy right now but could use some ideas on how to get through when wanting to contact is so strong. T.Read More...

You know, it's funny... no one has asked me that. Only a select few know I'm doing it. No one has asked me why. Maybe it's obvious that I desperately need it..... :/ I usually only broach the topic with friends who I know are also in therapy. Most of them get.... "it". But yeah... thank God for PsychCafe.Read More...

What is your Ts policy on touch? He'll hug clients if they ask, except me. Haven't asked why. Have you touched your T? Shook his hand 3x. Strange because he always says we're "emotionally close, physically distant." But a few months ago, I brought family to the session. After shaking all their hands, he shook my hand, too. Never talked about it afterward. Have you hugged your T? Nope. Never asked and don't anticipate asking in the future since he said, "If you ask me for a hug, I will say...Read More...

I read this forum a lot, but don't participate much. I think you are correct to quit and at least try another therapist. I found one, after fighting and fighting and fighting with the first one for about 4 years - the second one has no drama. She takes phone calls and encourages them. She does not demand or insist on her interpretation, but is not wishy washy. She is psychodynamic as is the first one - but it is quite different. I leave not frustrated and enraged and so on. She said that...Read More...

ElizaJ, Yes. I have been on it. It is awesome! Thank you. Yes having my old T out there brings me so much comfort. Our therapy time together is complete, but she is always there when/if I need a recharge or consultation.Read More...

Catalyst, I agree that our way of expressing our love for the therapist depends on how we think about love, or what love is. I just want to add to Affinity that I learned a lot about transference by reading Bolby on the web and reading his articles about transference. I select the free ones, of course. Kohut is really good, too and some of his are free to read or print out. Balint is good, too.Read More...