kitten vs TWO scary things: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-1F-CokXNU (very cute and funny) Quantum Levitation - cool geeky video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...hTw7RA&feature=share Puppies! really cute: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...re=player_embedded#!Read More...

Hi Newtothis, Wow, my gut reaction is, wait until you and your wife feel comfortable with the request- if that ever comes. If you've only been seeing your T for four months, there is still a lot s/he has to learn about you. And s/he should be concerned only about you. What your wife or your wife's T thinks really does not matter. In addition, if you and your wife are in counseling together (congratulations) then I think that should be enough. I'm not usually this opinionated but I just don't...Read More...

((((JANE))))) What a beautiful and tender moment you described between you and equine T. That sounds like a moment to hang onto for a long time. I so relate to not wanting to go to the depths of the pain alone but being afraid to go there at all and the terrible bind that is. Did I say that right? I might have screwed that up but that is so often how I feel. How you said it described the feeling perfectly. I know I need to go there eventually with T but it's such a deep, intimate place to go...Read More...

((((INCOGNITO))))) I am NOT sorry I asked but I am sorry that things have been so hard. And that fight between H and his family had to take a huge toll as well as being so sick. We've had some family fighting in the past 5 years and it's really hard so I know how bad that feels. Therapy is hard but you do sound like you are in sooo much pain, too much pain that it might be counterproductive. I hope you are able to get across to him how much pain you are in and that you need help from him...Read More...

It's difficult with me because I tend to put labels on myself at the moments that I feel most vulnerable or emotional. I don't know if I have it fully. I think I will just try and deal with my feelings without labelling symptoms and if it gets too bad anytime, I'll go to get assessed. I can cope pretty well in daily life right now. I need my therapist to monitor the way I speak, act, intellectualize for her to see the patterns. It's too confusing for me. If it is BPD, BPD can be overcome...Read More...

I don't know how to rename a thread to say update. So I'll just say this is an update. I am more calm than I've been in a week and I feel incredibly blessed. I had my session today and the bottom line is that my T has me very securely. I was completely honest and today was a lot about the transference and me missing him so much during the week. I was able to tell him that and to ask about more time. Long story short, there was a lot of conversation about me also seeing his associate for...Read More...

((((STRM)))) Thanks for thinking this through with me. I'm sure everything is fine with T and I'm just freaking out after talking to Pdoc. At the end of my session on Monday, T was just smiling at me. When I asked him why, he said "because I feel connected to you and it makes me happy after all we've been through." I just have to focus on that. I thought therapy was only hard on me. When I used to have my little "crisis" and feel as though I had to run it never occurred to me that it was...Read More...

MH I just don’t get your T. I can see why she’d say it was a mistake on her part to initiate texting you that day because she seems to feel that had she not done it, things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did. But it does seem grossly unfair to say it was a mistake when it’s exactly the sort of contact you’re needing. It does sound that she is thinking of your best interests, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s getting it right. I really do not like her analogy using your...Read More...

((((ND)))) So brave you of to ask for a hug. I think I asked my last one for a hug when I quit therapy but didn't realize then how loaded the topic was. If T was uncomfortable with hugs, maybe he probably would have said no to begin with? Butterfly, I know the no-touch thing has nothing to do with me. It was hard that he just announced it one day. I felt as though I must have been giving off some kind of signal that he felt like he had to say something, like I was going to ambush him or...Read More...

Hmmph! I think it ought to be against the law for T's to take such long breaks! How can that be in the best interests of some of their clients? I have to agree that T1 has not been very consistent and actually rather flakey, which isn't good news either. But still, I'd like to give some of these T's a piece of my mind when they take off for such ridiculously long lengths of time.Read More...

Hi Someone. It sounds like your pretty much prepared to get in there tomorrow and talk about some of these things. I hope the session goes well for you. Don't blame you for not feeling ok about sharing some of the things on your list - even with T. Maybe hitting her with a whole lot of things would be counterproductive (lol in my experience Ts don't seem able to deal with a deluge of stuff, they're more effective when you give them bite sized chunks of things to respond to). So if you stick...Read More...

Wow, thank you so much for your sincere words, LG, they really helped me. You have a nice way of putting things in a way that somehow helps me to accept better. I really appreciate it. Hugs to you, too! (((LG)))) BBRead More...

SG Thanks for sharing. It puts a much different and kinder spin on things to ask instead, what have I learned? instead of always viewing everything through the failure lens.Read More...

I think this double session, pre arranged- idea is the solution here. I feel inordinately grateful to my psychologist for being flexible on time for me. I am in a very unusual position really. I get free therapy, which is flexible between one and a half hours a week and sometimes he stretches that spontaneously to 2 hours. So I always set aside two hours. And it is FREE!!!! Plus a one hour phone call imbetween the weekly session if I need it. I dare not ask him WHY he is so kind to me. I...Read More...

Poetic. Speechless. You have quite a way with words!Read More...

missing you much!!!Read More...

I have to chuckle a little. BG, when you asked if the marriage was volatile and if she treats people badly you're pretty much right on target. She and my dad's wife (the three of them are great friends now BTW) are very controlling and my ex even has that reputation around her hometown. We separated several times and she made -everything- my fault. She'd continue a fight with me while our daughter watched, even as I was trying to halt it until she wasn't watching anymore. And I appreciate...Read More...

Thanks for posting that smallfry. I don't think we have met yet so welcome to the forum. Looking forward to getting to know you. TNRead More...

Kashley, I certainly understand the desire to push when the clock is ticking down like that (I have spent all 25 years of my therapy impatient with my progress ) But I have to agree with Beebs that trying to move too fast actually slows you down. I also want to assure you that it won't be wasted or meaningless. It was really scary for me when my first T told me she was retiring as we were definitely not done yet. She had decided to go back to school and pursue a different career (for very...Read More...

Thanks TN for the support and understanding. I wish you were my T. Seriously though, I'm now having very mixed feelings about having scheduled that next session at all. I felt okay for a little while after talking to T, but now the pain of the last day and a half has returned to me, along with flashbacks of the anxiety that I experienced sitting there with my phone for an hour and a half wondering what was wrong. I never thought I would say this, but I literally feel scared of T because I...Read More...

TN, It was so great to read the words you wrote when you said: I know it's him and not me although it took me a long time to recognize that. I know I am in safe hands. Yaku, Isn't it a great article? I really related to it.Read More...

JD it takes admin privileges to close a thread so it's either myself or Shrinklady. However if the author who started the thread deletes the first post the whole thread is deleted. However, this means you are deleting other people's post which by forum rules are owned by them. Hope that answered your question.Read More...

Hey there Jane, The conversation would totally throw me too!! Her statements and then the silence. It would put me into a tailspin. I find it very hard - but I'm working on it - not to invalidate myself when someone else has a different opinion. Being able to hold two opposing opinions in my head at the same time and not feel threatened and still feel good about myself is definitely an area that I need work in. It's very hard. Do you think you will go back to her? xoxo LieseRead More...

Forgetmenot, All of your questions are really good ones and take a lot of hammering out with your T. It took me a long time to get over my distrust. Hopefully it won't take you as long. xoxo Liese P.S. Yes, time and patience .. you got it!Read More...