Sorry I can't respond with anything, but I wish you all the best. I am Mayo, by the way. Your quote touched a truth in me.Read More...

I think my T will be good for me with all of this. T doesn't know I think I am BPD - all she knows is that I have had early trauma, neglect and have attachment issues - she is aware that my abuse started when I was pre verbal and that I am 'frozen in time' and that I have significant trust, abandonment and rejection issues. She knows I dissociate and have very few memories of my life before 18. She knows about SU and that I feel disconnected from life and do not have close attachments to...Read More...

I wanted to share with you guys about my session this past week. I asked T what the purpose of emailing would be and he talked about being able to simply connect with someone during the week. We talked a lot about having someone to connect with on a deeper level than I am currently experiencing with anyone else. You guys were barking up the right tree, so I just wanted to share that with you.Read More...

((((YAKU, HUGS)))) Glad you are feeling better.Read More...

AG, I figured it out. After you click on "No Avatar", you have to click on "Select This One" and it gives you a blank avatar. Thanks for trying to help. MTFRead More...

(((((MH))))) No need to respond... just wanted to send you hugs and thoughts and say that I totally can relate to how upsetting this would be. I am so sorry.. Trust develops when there is predictability, dependability, not pressured demands just to trust. (I want to go tell your T a thing or two.) I'm so sorry that this happened right when you were going to talk with her about something hard - a true act of trust. Our Ts have power and control just by being Ts!!! I'm frustrated that she now...Read More...

Hi All, I am painfully aware of how negatively this is affecting everyone on the forum. I'm sorry as I know it is important this is a safe place. I think that normally discussing our conflict styles is an important thing to do and Jones I appreciate what you said which I think helped to calm things down. But I also think that this thread has gotten very ugly, despite EVERYONE's obvious desire not to escalate this. So I'm going to close this thread and give everyone a chance to take a deep...Read More...

I don't know, maybe you are right. I have a habit of expecting my own T to be perfect, while at the same time wanting her to overlook all my flaws. But then I think...well, I am PAYING her, so I should be able to expect more, right? And she's supposed to be the one who's all put together, not me, or else why would I be seeking her help? I have a hard time letting my T be human.Read More...

I've gone back and forth a lot on this one. But even as furious as I am with my T at the moment, I think I've arrived at a point where I believe that, Yes, she does love me.Read More...

Hi Forlorn, Sorry to hear that it's things going badly which is keeping you away, but I really do totally understand. It's ok to make sure you have the capapcity to be here helping others; acutally it's a good thing. I want to urge you, along with TN and Yaku, to talk about what's going on if you think it would help. Thank you for checking in, it really helps to hear from someone from time to time so we don't worry too much. (((Forlorn))) AGRead More...

Woow, I am so glad for you BI, and for me...Your post showed me that it is possible...That eventualy we will be able to de-attache from our T....this is such a reassuring thing...Thank you so much for the post and good luck BI HugsRead More...

Thank you DF and Yaku. I had a response almost fully typed out to you guys, but I'm not sure I can post right now..I think I may be slightly dissociated? I just don't feel okay posting when I'm not fully here. I'll be back at some point to respond to you both. I'm sorry I haven't yet, but thank you for posting and being so helpful and supportive.Read More...

Oh, ok, now I have a better understanding. I am sorry you are feeling like you are wrong. I can imagine that doesn't feel very validating when he disagrees with you. It sounds to me though that he is trying to get you to see you through his eyes, which I'm thinking is probably a better version than what you see. My T does the same thing. I know she means well, but I end up feeling like she has no idea how much of a failure and total screw-up I am.Read More...

Hi L2F... it's interesting how we all see things differently which I guess complicates things for the T. I so WISH I could see some little bit of emotion from my T. I never see anything but his very normal look. He never seems to react to anything I tell him when I'm being emotional or struggling. He just sits and listens and, although I may be wrong, this makes me feel like what I'm telling him is just no big deal and that I'm making too much out of nothing. It makes me feel less connected...Read More...

Happy to help as often as possible - and the payment system works from Australia!Read More...

Thanks SG. I have actually LAUGHED today reading posts on the forum - thanks everyone for letting me find those muscles again. I think young T was too busy trying to define exactly what zoning out I was doing to made a deal of it - and I must admit I was throwing a lot of things at her during those last few weeks as I was unravelling. This T has had more experience with trauma, ptsd and personality disorders and so is probably more in tune with it. This T is also 12 years more experienced -...Read More...

I second your "yay for me" (you) for bringing up said pain-in-the-butt topic. Thanks, SomeDays!! And another "yay for you" for putting up those boundaries with your mum so you could have your caesarians in (relative) peace. Good grief. Even enlisting the help of the medical team...that is very impressive. The thing with Father's Day...I agree, very weird, that your mum would think she needs to arrange "alternative activities" for your husband!!! My mother has also taken an unusual interest...Read More...

Hemlock thanks - I have read that book. I don't think it will help this situation but I will ask if she has read it. I think I must keep going back to her because I am now just some sort of masochist.Read More...

ps- I just reread what I wrote, and wanted to edit- I didn't mean to imply that you only matter because you matter to your T...of course not, you matter regardless. But, it's nice when we can access the feelings about mattering through that connection with a T, it really helps wake that up, is all I meant- ((((((Mlc))))) Hope you are doing well today- Love, BBRead More...

(((Jones))) Thank you so much for what you said, I am incredibly honored that you would see me that way as you have so much wisdom of your own. It means so much to me to think that my experience was of help to you; it was very generous of you to say so. My hope is that you continue to experience freedom in your therapy that leads to healing. much love, AgletRead More...

Phew!!! Glad to know all is okay apart from power and trees down!!! It could have been so much worse!! Take care all. MorgsRead More...

Hello from the UK Just wanted to say to all in the path of Irene stay safe, I hope that you all ge through with as little problems as possible x many to all affected in whatever wayRead More...

i have only watched the last video with the crow and cat and it is amazing! How beautiful to see such attachment...there is something so innocent about it.Read More...

Ohh I see lol... silly me! Yes the ones we made were with breadcrumbs Draggers - thank you *blush* ps. yes its difficult to keep him entertained but for some reason he has been really helpful and kind today. He might be in loveRead More...