kick stuff really hard! Kicking works for me when my anger, which My T and now a new T I've seen a few times too, seem to think is turned inwards- comes out now and then. I have an old dryer in my back room that I kick really hard every once in awhile when it comes out. Cushions didn't work for me cause for some reason I need to hear a loud noise, or see a result (something denting, for example) Works cause it is harmless and no one gets hurt with my mean words that I want to say or mean...Read More...

(((Draggers))) (((BB))) Well, I had to text my T yesterday, but only to let him know he had SPAM (my emails have been going into his SPAM folder for some reason, so he likes me to warn him when a journal entry gets sent), to find out whether my session was Monday or Tuesday (Tuesday) and to remind him that if he and H are going to talk about my stuff, I expect to be invited. Other than that, I haven't texted at all and feel good about it. I was actually annoyed I had to text him for the...Read More...

Hi BI, My T also recommended that I see a nutritionist, and I went to the person she recommended (who is also a registered dietitian - very important!) I have found the nutritionist very helpful, actually, and I was surprised by that. I figured it would be a few appointments on learning how to better plan for meals and learning how to balance what I eat. Instead, I'm going on my third month with the nutritionist, and while I'm learning a lot, I still have a lot to learn The nutritionist I...Read More...

There's no such thing as a pointless update Frosty! Thanks for catching us up with how things are going. Sounds like you've got some good goals and are moving forward. Good progress! Keep us posted! ((((Frosty))))Read More...

Oh BI - You and I are sailing on the same ship right now. I too have gotten that kind of response from my T. My T is currently is vacation, and we left things on a very harsh note, and it's just crushing me. So I do know, take is easy. GGRead More...

Thanks Liese, Broken Illusions, Draggers, STRM, and TN. I'm writing on my phone. I'm away for a beautiful weekend And I'm remembering my friend. I'm sad but in a way I'm at Peace with the sadnessRead More...

So, it looks like I might be in for the long haul. LOL! Well, that's okay with me. I am just scared T will start pushing me out sooner or something. I have a lot of issues in my past that we need to work through, and our main issue of working through this attachment this is primary right now.. since I find myself attaching to strong older female role models. I think it's because my mother was such a weak figure in my life that I do this. BUT, I'd be okay with paying T forever to play that ...Read More...

Thank you yaku My t thinks I'm a joke or nothing I saw has any meaning. Shenever called too. I trusted her. I worked so hard to do so. The pain is so bad I find myself wanting to be drunk.Read More...

Oh, I am smiling now so its okay. Cuz I went away for awhile to take the kids to a parade and then I've been working on my homework. And then, pleasant surprise, when I found my way back here just now there are some very nice replies from my friends Deepfried and STRM. And I think all I needed (for this go-around, anyway) besides being able to air the conflict, was to be understood. So thanks, guys!Read More...

GG DF YAKU Thanks you guys. I'm glad I'm not alone in this. I too still have to put gas in my car and that is enough to make me broke right there. I still have to buy my cigs too. Sheesh! It just doesn't end. I hope things get better for you folks too! GG - Wipe your ASS ROTFLMAO pretty funny! Even though I know it really isn't. Thanks for reminding me.Read More...

Thank you, DragonFly, for your kind words in regards to my poetry. I love writing. It makes me feel happy. It's one of my many releases. I will be open to sharing more with you all in the future. As far as the name thing, I am not sure if I feel spacey. It seems to trigger some type of anxiety in me for some reason, though. I noticed it today when a customer looked at my name tag and said my name a few times in our interaction. I was like "WOAH..." I am interested in my next session to see...Read More...

Hi Elly and Dizzy Alice... welcome to the boards. I'm pressed for time now but I think it may be helpful if you do a search on this board for "attachment" as it has been discussed a lot. We all struggle with this so you are not alone and will find good support here. I also want to mention that what you both describe... wanting to cling and wanting to flee (run) from your T's sounds to me like you have a disorganzied attachment. If you google this you can see if the description fits. Elly ---...Read More...

Dragonfly...veggie muffins? Hey, those could be good, depending on the veggie! Carrot muffins with cream cheese frosting would be yummy! Broccoli muffins...not so much. SGRead More...

JMB and MH, Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. I think my frustration is less about wasting the session now that I think about it and more that I couldn't just stay numb and detached the whole time. To have those emotions and memory bits intruding during the end of my session when I intellectually knew I could not allow them to surface and there was no time to share them is what really bothers me. The analogy I came up with is extremely inappropriate, so much so that I can't...Read More...

GG... sorry for all the abbreviations. CBT is cognitive behavioral therapy which is usually short-term therapy that focuses on changing behavior in clients. It does not usually delve into the underlying deeper reasons for the behavior. If you want a more accurate description you could google it. It's a type of therapy used a lot today. Then there is psychodynamic therpay or psycho analytical therapy which is more concerned with our childhoods, our past and how that has made us who we are...Read More...

((Hemlock)) Nice to meet another phone-phobe. Well, just when I was beginning to think that I may not even get a call back, she called..finally! I only feel marginally better today, so it was good she called. Like I thought, since her phone was off, she had no idea she missed a call and had a message from me until later this morning. She apologized more times than I can count. I felt bad for it but ended up telling her that it seemed fitting because I felt like I deserved punishment and part...Read More...

Thanks Kashley! I'm doing sorta kinda ok, just haven't been able to post. I will try to post an update soon. Love you guys, BBRead More...

((((((INCOGNITO)))))) That's happened to me a couple of times in therapy, where I've run into a wall and felt as though there was this thing that I either needed to tell T or stop going because there was nothing else to talk about. As hard as it was to tell him, I forced myself to talk about whatever it was and it was well worth it. It seems to me that once you share everything with T about your life, once he knows absolutely everything about you, you can start to construct a life story that...Read More...

9pm. So, will probably have to wait. I know he won't tell me not to process it, but I also know from experience that he'll need to wrap up by 10:30 at the latest and he is usually running late, so that means an hour or maybe 1:15 at the most. This is not something I feel certain I can process (even parts of) and ground from in that amount of time. Ugh, I don't know how I am going to make it through the next 22 hours. I feel like I am spinning right now...just terrified for some reason. I...Read More...

Yaku - HP was by far one of the best movies yet - I think it stuck to the book the closest of all the movies (probably because it had the least amount of pages to cover!) That's just my opinion though, and I hope you enjoy it! BG and AG, as always, though I might not be posting much these days, I always appreciate your insights when you share your experiences!Read More...

Ninn, why did you choose this nickname? Have you heard about the little girl Ninn from the Moomins? When I chose my nick I was thinking about Ninn, Think she´s called Ninny in the english version.Read More...

Hi Ninn, you are right, I believe it is more "anger turned inwards": than "repressed anger". I never seem to know what to do with it. My T has told me she thinks I have lots & lots of anger, and she has me reading a few books on the subject of forgiveness as well. She has also told me that I need to think more about gratitude, as a way of dealing with my anger. I do feel better the last two days. I know the walk helped and actually the cleaning was very good for me as well. I have not...Read More...

Glad to hear your T is going to step it up and go where you need and want her to go. I hope it goes well for you. MTFRead More...