you may not always like what you hear from your T (i know i don't!), but it seems to me like he's there for you maybe not in the way you'd want but perhaps in the way you need. you've stuck with him this long. i think your innate knows what it's doing. hugs (((TAS))) it ain't easy by a stretch, but perhaps necessary? depends on you.Read More...

I worried a lot about it when I was seeing the T with parkinson's. I was also concerned when I knew she was retiring, because I would want to know if she died. Then I worried that her disease would make it impossible to talk or communicate and I would be a mess about all of that. Never did talk about it. Altho I did ask her after a doctor appt (which she had mentioned) if she was okay. Before that one, I had a T/Pdoc who one day fell off the earth. His office didn't know where he was, none...Read More...

Very wise RTRead More...

Liese and RT... thank you SO much for sharing your similar experiences and how it made you feel. Liese I often wondered how you managed to deal with that secretary. I remember you posting about her and how she kept throwing obstacles in your path. I would thank goodness that my T didn't have a secretary to deal with... LOL... so I got the wife instead Thank you for sharing. It makes me feel less crazy. RT... I would have died if I had to walk up the stairs sandwiched between T and another...Read More...

My dreams from my Old T and my New T have always been the same--there are ALWAYS other people sitting in on my therapy sessions and I cannot talk. I have never understood why this dream keeps reoccuring! LJBRead More...

(((AFFINITY))) That sounds really positive. So happy for you. Is there anything wrong with having a one-way friendship with a T as long as it's confined to their office? I ask that because I do think my Old T had very much become my confidant. I didn't have anyone IRL to talk to and didn't know how to talk to anyone IRL. I see that he fulfilled some of those needs for me until I could develop other relationships apart from him. And I do believe that was very therapeutic for me. I also...Read More...

You too Ghost Girl. My mum called me today acting normal but I could hear the alcohol in her voice. She told me her "test results" were good yesterday with regards to the "cancer". Such a shame she just couldn't wait to celebrate… Some things never change, but its not holding me back. You've helped me loads too, given me hope and reassurance, which is all I could've asked forRead More...

Thanks Veryhopeful, I will come back again and again to this place, even ifonly to read your name (alias).Read More...

(((RT))) that's pretty awesome! congratulations to you both! progress may be slow, but it is happening!Read More...

I'm sorry you didn't get hugs etc growing up - i don't think its that un-normal for us on this forum - i imagine form most of us, childhood wasn't he rosy white picket fence seen on tv … with hugs abound left right and centre … i have got my T to write things down for me, purely so id have her writing on a piece of paper for comfort (and not tell her that is why i wanted her to write it down). i don't feel guilty about that. im not wanting any thing form her anymore. I think I've felt so...Read More...

Wow. Every now and again I find myself wishing my mother hadn't died when I was a child - in my fantasy she lived and was kind and caring and well, completely changed personalities. Then I read about the kind of upheavals others have with their mums and I know in my heart of hearts she would not have changed and all her being alive for longer would have meant was more pain and suffering for me... Dunno if you've read up about narcissist parents? (Not tryng to diagnose your mum, just reading...Read More...

Hi Jillian, Thank you for responding. The word "intoxicating" exactly sums it up. The intoxication is gone. Sometimes it so stinks to actually see and experience reality. It sucks to realize and embrace that T is not going to rescue me and that even if she did love me, it wouldn't really matter. The love has to come from me.Read More...

Thanks, everyone. I really appreciate your suggestions.Read More...

Eiko, I could actually feel your joy come through from reading your words. Great work! It's a great feeling when we make progress. Growth!Read More...

That was facinating BLT. I found particularly interesting the spread of Anorexia in China. I don't have the same presenting ideas of many younger folks that suffer with this but most clinicians keep wanting to put me "in that box" so to say. Thanks for posting this. JillannRead More...

(((SP))) She should be back in the city today. Her voicemail message is no longer set as 'away'. I worry she won't want to work with me anymore. Can't possibly care and hates me and wants to hurt me. Probably not true... But it's so triggering awaiting someone's return when I knows past was never knowing when someone would appear to hurt me after they were gone.Read More...

This is such a tough question to answer. I think if someone were seeing a T for, say, drug addiction or sexual dysfunction, attachment would be unnecessary. However, for people who were hurt in childhood and have attachment issues as a result...perhaps attachment to the T isn't completely necessary for healing, but it's probably going to come up. In that case, I think the necessity of attachment will depend on what the person in therapy needs to work through. I will say this, though:...Read More...

My T has a very long, complicated way to explain this taking about some experiments and resonance, etc... Basically... I think it feels good because it impacts our physiology and promotes our well being as a result. Ever pet an animal and feel better? Ever been afraid at night but thankful you had a pet/human there? I think it feels protective and safe... That we can handle ourselves but if things get tough someone is there. I don't have words to describe emotionally but metaphors I can...Read More...

Cause hash tags are a twitter thing and not really meant for FB I don't know any way of blocking them. I have an old internet acquaintance who's posts I have unsubscribed from. He hasn't hit my instantly unfriend line so he remains on my list for now. There is a little arrow on the rhs of posts in your feed. Use the drop down and it gives you the choice of removing that single post or unfollowing that person. I can definitely see why #yesallwomen has been so triggering. Re: talking about it,...Read More...

I don't think I will ever get what I need; not even a breath if it. As I told my T - the fundamental truth that is my biggest, deepest pain, right down to the depths of my soul - and which I really do not know if I am capable of truly accepting, is that I had just one chance to be given what I needed - and now that childhood is well and truly finished, I will never ever get that. Not even a little bit. I really do not know if I can ever accept it to the level I need in order to be truly free...Read More...

Hi Catalyst, Yes I am bipolar. I have absolutely no objections to taking meds and have been on oodles of them and various combinations of them with relatively low success. In fact my moods seemed to be more severe as far as mania goes with meds, so three years ago I decided to only use them when I am in an active manic or depressive episode. I have been trying to manage this disease largely through cognitive and behavioral strategies and it is often overwhelming and difficult. I am feeling a...Read More...

I live in fear that I'll run into my T at work. I deliberately chose a T in the town adjacent to where I live to reduce this possibility. So while it's unlikely that I'll run into her in Aldi on a Saturday morning, I do work further afield and it's fairly inevitable what we'll run into each other at some point. We do have an arrangement where if we think it's going to be possible then we'll talk about it. Brief moments I think I'd be ok with. Anything more... bleurghhhh. I'm totally down...Read More...

Hi Liese... thanks for asking. Things went really well today. I took a few risks and we had a good talk. T was very kind and accepting of me and I am more at peace today. I hope it lasts. I am still processing the session and I hope to post about it tomorrow. Thanks Mallard for your thoughts. I can definitely see that some of what I'm feeling I'm thinking T is also feeling. It gets hard for me to separate the feelings and to make sense of them when I am so activated. Hugs TNRead More...

Sorry I don't have many words, but I will say that I hear you and understand.Read More...

Thank you for all of your replies. The answer eludes me; perhaps it is not meant to know the whys. It seems one should be given the answers to these questions if they are the ones who have had to endure such things. I don't think this is asking too much.Read More...