Yaku, R2G, LG, Df and STRM, Thanks so much for the cheerleading. It's been hard but hopefully beneficial. T also told me that I have many core strengths, that I'm very determined and very motivated. That was really nice to hear. He made some nice eye contact when he apologized for being insensitive. Or maybe it was me who was finally able to allow the eye contact to happen. He also reiterated that there is no time line for me. He knows how far I am from reaching any of my goals in life but...Read More...

Thanks DF and LG for the hugs, I need them right now Great idea to jot down license plate numbers - I have a friend who is on the local police force, so she could easily run plates if need be. I also like the idea of talking to my friend and possibly his lawyer. I hate that this jerk is so intimidating - now that he's met me and seen my car, he could easily find me if he wants to which scares me even more. I want to say it's ironic that this looking-over-my-shoulder stuff is happening right...Read More...

((((((Beebs))))) Take good care of yourself. I'll miss you around here.Read More...

Yaku, Getting triggered is so tough. To me, it's like having two realities in your head at a time but the one becomes so overwhelming and I lose the ability to sort things out. I was in a little car accident yesterday and as I was looking through my car for my insurance info, I got triggered. All I could hear was this voice, saying "you idiot, you're so f**king incompetent, who did you think you were to bring these four children into the world when you can't even keep your insurance info in...Read More...

Forlorn, I am sorry you are dealing with this. I know how painful a termination can be. I have read some of your older posts from last summer, and it seems as though you were feeling hurt by T all the way back then, about 9 months into your therapy. You talked about how she pressured you to talk, when really a T should be willing to sit in silence with you if that is what you need. You also mentioned that she told you that you weren't special to her, and there were other hurtful things. When...Read More...

Hi LG... this comment with Monte's comments on the other thread gave me the motivation to send him that email about bringing in stuff and also telling him again what I felt I needed to be in place before I could go on to the scarier stuff on the other side of the wall. I guess I needed to feel that he could offer me some of the warm fuzzies that help to ground me, make me feel more safe, and help with my emotional regulation. Especially because I have to get back to normal and go back to...Read More...

Hey Jane, I think we both suggested the same thing at different times, for the same reasons. Twins! I think I put it a bit harshly, saying it was a 'terrible' word. I certainly didn't mean any of us, including Jo, was terrible for using it. I've used it often myself. I just mean that without us intending it it conjures up these images of people who maybe have ill intent, which is very likely not true. So yes, as Beebs writes, I meant it (I'm sure JD did too) just as a musing for all of us.Read More...

I feel that my view that 90 minutes is a good standard time and only run over when there is mega stuff being processed, has been affirmed here by you guys - so thankyou. I am not sure I will tell him because I look back and remember telling him before and it just gets awkward keeping on telling him and he is doing the lengthening of sessions in my best interests, but I have finished a session myself, I just get my shoes on and that signals " enough!"Read More...

My only issue with group PMs is that I'd hate to exclude opinions from people it just didn't occur to me to add right away. There are a lot of times my threads get great input from people who I wouldn't even have imagined could relate to the topic at hand (or maybe, because their own perspective is so different, it helps me see things outside of my box). That said, I do get how it would just suck threads out of the regular areas... So many good points...Read More...

Oh (((BB))) Greater love ... page two!!! sheesh!! Thanks my friend - you know I'm around and thinking of you but my care and hugs by post is all I can offer to you while you're going through such painful stuff! The insights, advice etc put forward by our forum family members is excellent so I don't worry on that account as there is plenty of support!! I'm sort of in a weird place that can only be described as putting one foot in front of the other - no major dramas - just an underlying...Read More...

Hey all, thanks for thinking of me! The sunburn is still there, only the patches have shrunk down considerably. It still itches like mad, and while it's not peeling, it's more like a lizard - molting in big, ugly patches. The doctor said that since it's a med reaction, I could be red in the burn spots for a few weeks I did find a swim shirt (the breathable 3/4 sleeve mock turtleneck type) that is SPF 50, so that takes care of most of the torso... I haven't been back to the pool yet, though,...Read More...

I hope you are doing ok today, incognito. I'm feeling sorry about the way my reply to you came out, because it didn't say what I intended, and on re-reading it just now, I realized I was writing a lot of it more to myself than to you...I am sorry about that. I need to be more careful posting, as I am in a bad place and should consider more careful before I write, lately. I meant what I said though about you being lovely and me liking you. I hope that is ok. hugs, BB I hope you are doing a...Read More...

Monte... reading this was so helpful to me (and I hope to you too MTF). I was thinking of how to get around that wretched wall that is blocking me from revealing more of me to my T and to get beyond the grief of oldT. I think show and tell is a great idea. I did some of this with oldT and it did not really go over too well but I think that had more to do with his incompetence than it being the wrong thing to do. I'd like to share things with my T like some old books, childhod pictures, old...Read More...

(((JD))) Good for you standing up for yourself. I'm sorry it is happening though and that it hurts.Read More...

missing PG today. just wanted to say that. grief is a bumpy ride.Read More...

And that's what makes you wonderful SG my heart just melted when I read the situation between you and your daughter. It's the determination to be the best mother you can, along with the humbleness to know that no one will be perfect, that makes you a wonderful mom. I'm sorry to hear about the move. Those must be odd feelings to have and to try to process. Do you think she would be open to occasional updates? Like a card from you every once in a while. It might help, even if you don't keep in...Read More...

Oh gosh, thanks everyone for your very valuable perspectives and insights. I have to run out and don't have a lot of time to reply but wanted to tell you puppet that it didn't bother me in the least that you talked about you .. I like listening to other peoples stories and how they relate. It's interesting and helpful. I will be back later to reply more. Oh, by the way, in this vein, I told my T yesterday that I felt like a hamster on a wheel. He told me that he wants me to see myself as a...Read More...

Welcome, Ninn- you are going through so much. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am honored to meet you. hugs, BBRead More...

(((((Frosty)))) good for you I am so proud of you! You did a great job and I'm glad that things ended on a positive note and with you in control. I think she said that because she clearly wants to hear from you sooner rather than later, and will be wondering how you are doing. I'm sorry I don't have more time, I will be back later on... hugs, BBRead More...

It's so great to read this, Jones- I'm glad for you. Manatee seems very caring and in tune. I too feel badly about the creative work and you feeling like it may not be the place to get that mentoring or validation that can b so motivational. But it is probably something that needs to be found within- I'm not sure. At any rate- I love the sound of the work you do together and you just seem like a really good "team." thanks for sahring- Love, BebeRead More...

((((Meghan)))) just wanted to say hi and that i was just thinking of you. hope you are doing well.Read More...

ok so this is a seriously belated thank you - but just wanted to say thanks to you all, as your responses are helpful even now when I'm struggling with this again. thanks so much! it helps to not be so alone in all of this.Read More...

Thanks Freud, You gave me hope and a smile. LieseRead More...

oh I don't think it would have made you the same as him, you would have just been acting as a mirror for his actions.Read More...

Thanks TN aand SG andJD and AG. I'm sorry I hijacked this little area, I didn't mean too. thanks for your reassurances. I'm hearing you but I find I just can't seem to take it in. I just keep thinking about it from my T's perpective, and what *he* would think, and he would think..."well, you made the decision to go, and now you are blaming me for not stopping you, when it very well may be in your best interests.." you know? I just...arg.Read More...