You know what get sme going? I am cheap! If I don't cancel my app't with 48 hours notice I still pay for a session. I pay $100.00 per session and have no insurance coverage. Even if I avoid the subject for an hour I still go and talk about other things. CNCRead More...

Darn AG, another tight schedual. Just concentrate on what you have to get done and as your T used to tell you: remember to Breathe! Will miss you while your gone.Read More...

Oh, I wasn't meaning counter-transference in a negative way either, to tell you the truth. I was just reading an article on how important those feelings can be in certain therapeutic scenarios, as long as the T is aware of them and addressing anything that's not of therapeutic benefit, as you say.Read More...

Fly - I agree with R2G, that makes sense. The last two nights haven't been very good. For some reason I almost drift off to sleep and then I jerk awake worrying I won't wake up. I woke up twice during the night instead of sleeping through. I'm going to say this is related to my T being gone because I can remember suffering from the same problem after my grandmother died. I was scared I would die too if I went to sleep. It was probably unresolved grief (but for my current problem my T...Read More...

((((Sadly))))) I hope you were able to get some rest. Sobbing can take so much out a person. So glad sweetP was there for you.Read More...

Learning2Fly ~ hi, I don't think we have "met" before. It's good to "see" you. I'm so sorry, totally messed up posting this thread... can you post your response on the other one? is that ok? so sorry again. I'd love to respond to what you have to say and thought it would be good to keep in one spot. sorry for goofing up this post...Read More...

Thanks AG!!! I'll probably come back to this in a couple of days. Thanks everyone for being patient w/ me too.Read More...

Blackbird, thank you for your response. I do think expressing it makes the most sense, but it just doesn't seem to matter to my H....you're right, it has been hard work. 11 years of hard work and I want to give up. I think that is why I can no longer express it, I think I have given up. I think I used to express it fine. You're right about physical ways....I need to get back on the treadmill. I know I feel better after a good jog on the treadmill. Stomping on pop cans would be great,...Read More...

It is unusual to be offered a lift whilst one's T goes to get coffee, but it the t is a good T, there might be reasons that the T thought of that it would be a GOOD idea to do that, ie help you see him as a normal person. Also make you feel at ease. I guess only time will tell, like how you and he work together and how you look back on it, in years to come. Also I liked the T who offered a lift home, that was a real act of kindness and I am glad that it was accepted. Yea.Read More...

Got the book yesterday and started reading last night....so far so good I decided to do the same STRMRead More...

Do you use an application, like Outlook, or a web client, like Yahoo? You may be able to search a "help" webpage for the error code to see ways around it being rejected...Read More...

Let's just put it this way. Last night I "vented" into my journal in the form of close to 4,000 words. I am now editing it down to a very straightforward letter stating things I would never be able to speak. Handing it to T tomorrow... we'll see how it goes...Read More...

BB, I'm dwelling on what you said. I also forgot to say that no, I do not feel an attachment to my current T. What you are describing is what my 1st T was working on with me. We were working on assertiveness and saying to others what I need. I'm too non-confrontational. This new T was just there to help me through the transference. He never picked up where the last T left off and thats what I need now. I wish I had been more assertive when I got the boot. All I did was nod my head while my...Read More...

Thank you for your understanding Kashley. There is no need to be sorry for not posting more, we all have our own stuff to deal with and your support already has meant alot to me...plus I haven't been around or in the right place to offer others much. Thanks BB, I did have someone to talk to but she is so busy at the moment. I will be ok...this is all just another learning curve that I will get through. Thank you both for my hugs. ButterflyRead More...

((((Jane)))) Thinking of you. Not having much wisdom to offer here, but I understand how damaging that lack of faith can feel. Things will be OK if you just keep stepping forward, but I'm sorry that it's so hard to do.Read More...

Thanks so much for your responses everyone... Jo, I did understand the context of your original post about "lurkers"... I suppose in a way, I felt a little guilty about reading your posts while not participating or sharing anything of myself if that makes any sense.... It is hard BG, but at the same time...i feel like a complete failure...thanks for your kind words. LG....yeah...think you were away at the time DF left if I remember correctly (glad she's back) Smiley...thank you BB, I'm doing...Read More...

((((((Yaku))))) I am sorry you are feeling like this...I'm sorry I can't offer much in terms of advice but I am really glad to hear you are keeping busy. Go gently ButterflyRead More...

(((((TN)))) I am glad you and T are good. It iwll take a bit more time to totally and completely resolve, but it will all turn out ok in the end, because he's a T with integrity. BBRead More...

Loved this very much. There is one part in particular that keeps coming back to me, how our shame stems from how we are afraid of not being "worthy" of connection. Very powerful and very true. I'm also very interested in reading her book posted about in another thread. Thanks so much for the link, AG. SGRead More...

(((LG))))Read More...

(((PF)))) I'm so sorry that your dad denied you the opportunity to talk about this. I can imagine that didn't feel good.Read More...

LG and Yaku, Thanks for your support. LG, it's part the vacation but also partly that my expections were way out of control. His last vacation was two years ago for two weeks. I couldn't admit at that point that I was attached to him so that vacation didn't bother me. But now I have come full circle and feel as though I've thrown myself at him with all my needs and neediness and have basically said, I'm so freaking dependent upon you. I don't like to be. I didn't want to be. I fought it...Read More...

I struggle with aloneness and loneliness and am introverted too. I find myself actually feeling more lonely (which is painful) when I am with other people and just can't manage to connect (often the case) than I do when I'm alone. So, I actually prefer to be alone. Case in point is being disappointed my H isn't going on a trip, because I would have had so much alone time to myself, and in that time, I would not have felt so lonely. Bored, once in a while, maybe, but not disconnected (since...Read More...

DGU, The truth is that child abuse is so horrible that a lot of people fail to see it because it's too painful to face, which is no excuse for how you were failed. You have every right to be angry about how unprotected you were. That you were allowed to suffer while so many around you did not see your pain. Like BG, I have promised myself to not look away because I know how much I wish someone would have seen me and done something. I hope that you can find solace now in being heard. AGRead More...

(((BG))) Sorry I wasn't around, but so glad you came through to this Monday morning, which is most definitely a cause for celebration! You should be very proud of yourself. AGRead More...