RT, I asked about the painting today that I did not take off the wall.......SHIT......he gave it away during down-sizing and re-arranging a lot of stuff. I thought he was going to say he gave it to another client.....he gave it to the local charity store. I drove as fast as I could over to the store....BOO HOO. Someone else bought it. Oh well. I'll get something, eventually, from this guy!Read More...

Thanks VeryH, I feel just mixed up. Angry one minute and ashamed the next. The implicit message is that this is the right way to do therapy and if I dont like it I am wrong. It's non-negotiable. She is a nice person and listens when I am there - the previous one could be more unreliable on that front. Maybe I just wont go back. sapphire-blueRead More...

((Pengs)) thanks love Yes, she's due any day now. Last week was supposed to be our last session but they pushed back her due date to this weekend. It's going to be extremely awkward seeing this person now lol! I'm still worried about how I'm going to feel when she actually has her baby, especially since it's a girl, but we'll see.Read More...

RT, yes that is exactly what I sound like. Especially when I haven't had my morning cup of tea!!Read More...

Hey You! No apology needed. (((Drags)))Read More...

i used to have that same problem, thinking my family was "normal"! turns out, not by a long-shot! so, yeah, i'll gladly be the misfit in this bunch!Read More...

((((SD)))) I couldn't handle the sense of powerlessness the relationship evoked for me and it was less painful for me to suffer the loss. Seeing T twice a week evoked longings that I couldn't work through because they were so intense and wouldn't let up long enough for me to create space in between them. I also couldn't, oddly, make the transition back to once a week but maybe that would be an option for u to give u the chance to have a break from the intensity. I wasn't able to work through...Read More...

Thank you very much for all your input. It has helped very, very much. Affinity, your post was spot on about slogging through. That's exactly what it feels like, and when it is unbearable...somethings changing; growth. I've always pushed through the pain and it is the healer. I keep forgeting that! Thank you. Liese, it is a huge trust issue and he will have "super" power over me to crush me. My own parents could not be trusted and my first T was arrested for multi-million dollar insurance...Read More...

Skylynx: Thank you for replying. To risk the interaction is terrifying...If he says something I don't understand I will not address it because it requires me opening up and being seen...Being seen is so difficult for me. I keep telling myself it will get better with time. T. Sp: He brought up last week how there are two parts of me...one part wants to be close and then the other part steps in and wants to protect the other part from getting close...this is when I just want to fight him and...Read More...

Yeah, same goes with me, but as you said everybody is different. Not all the services provided by a Online therapist are bad but some are. It is really a tricky part to choose the right TRead More...

Google: what to say instead of "f*** off" I did. Lots of creative ideas! -RT PS - let us know how it goes when you have this conversation (unless, of course, you don't want to )Read More...

The imbalance is tough. I've been with my T for 2yrs 3 months. Developed feelings early on. Think I would have been attracted even in a non therapeutic setting. Have had feelings of love for T for about 1 1/2 half years. I've shared my feelings with my T. T has been great and understanding. Much better than some others I read about here. T has said she loves me deeply. I believe there is some counter transference but not sure just how. Parts of me believe that T doesn't really care and this...Read More...

((VH)) I'm very sensitive too Sometimes my brain will sort of suck things in and put them in a void... then feed them to me slowly when I can handle it. If I did get triggered right away it's like... it was immediately captured and put somewhere else and I just continue on. Sort of like how I dealt with trauma growing up, for example my dog was given away as punishment, I didn't find out until the evening and immediately after I had to play in a sports game, and study for an exam. So it was...Read More...

"transference facilitator" is a good word. and "they loooove" transference" is a good word, too. Maybe it feeds their vanity. I was at another forum where someone said that the T shouldn't say the cold fact that they can never be the father or mother, as it could cause a breakdown and panic episode. But instead the T should say they will support and help the patient with their inner child feelings. I felt this was a better way because my adult self knows I can't be my T's child, but it's my...Read More...

Thanks Daggers! . It's still hard knowing he offers to his other clients and he won't to me. All because I was honest how I felt when he didn't. But you are right I'll learn to ask others when I need help, because this I know I don't! Everyone on here is great! I just never have good advice to give yet....Read More...

Thanks for your reply, Draggers! Those are great ideas! I think I'll have to look into after school care program for my younger child. That isn't an option for my older one, I don't think. I think for him I might have to look into the city bus route. I've seen a city bus at the school...I just don't know where they go from the school. My parents and I live too far away for the kids to walk safely (across a highway and such). Another thing is money. At my current job, I only make $10 an hour...Read More...

Sometimes change can be really good. It's just hard to know that before it happens. -RTRead More...

Great metaphor. I personally love cake. To me it is a frosting delivery method. I've admitted that I am powerless over cake and that my life has become unmanageable. I think I'm somewhere between step 3 & 4. Where are you? -RTRead More...

Not psycho at all. A frequent response, I would think. -RTRead More...

When I was in grade school, every morning the radio played a John Philip Sousa march. That certainly got the circulation moving. -RTRead More...

LOL, Oh, gosh, SP, you are a super-hero. I was so lucky with Boo, other than she had a hard time latching at first, so I had to do a combination of expressing and using nipple shields until she figured out breastfeeding, but it worked out. As for nap routines, they were non-existent, but my little one seemed determined to sleep through the night as soon as she gained enough weight that the doctors would advised me I could let her do so. So, I figure my next one will be the opposite, lol. LG...Read More...

TAS, I was super-reluctant to take medication and was never going to until things became unbearable. I took medication for four years and it saved my life. Balanced me out and helped to heal by grounding me. It is a very personal decision. I agree with everything AG wrote. T did want me to go on meds again. I declined and have tried writing, breathing, walking, sharing, and do take xnanx when needed. I know I probably should go back on them, but do not like such powerful stuff in me. I have...Read More...

hang in there draggeryRead More...

There are times when I just want to go off on you so bad. Now is one of those times. I am so freaking tired of your non-responsiveness. I don't give a crap about the "therapeutic" reasons behind your behavior toward me. I mean really is there a "human" in there anywhere. You are like a freaking robot. Cold, calculating, unfeeling, too damn predictable. You push me to the point of rage, and it just is so not worth it. I can't allow this anymore. I just have to go on accepting that you are...Read More...

I believe my therapist uses the IFS system alot. She talks about my critical parent running the show often. We have done some role play with trying to let the child part express herself. (Have to say I was uncomfortable with that!) I understand the concepts but don't really understand how it is supposed to help me. When I have needs I can often identify them as being from the child but I can so clearly hear the critical parent voice come in an squash those childish needs. Not sure what to do...Read More...