Hello Quilter. This sounds like an awful place to be in, that you're going to therapy to get/feel better and yet find yourself in opposition to the very person who is supposed to be helping you. Here's a couple of questions just to clarify: Is it possible you actually don't like your T? I've had Ts in the past where just who they were as a person really rubbed me up the wrong way, no matter how kindly or willing to listen to me they were, I found myself getting more and more resistant and...Read More...

Thanks, LG. I know it wasn't on purpose. My brain just does funny things. T is a chronic late-runner. He had car trouble and was late for H's 4 pm appointment, hence late all day, and then ran over with the people before me. We didn't start until 8:25 (instead of 8:00). He apologized profusely, but I told him I understand (and totally accept it), because he also runs over with me almost universally. For instance, I didn't get out of there last night until 10:00 pm. So, am I going to complain...Read More...

AG thanks for taking the time to explain that (I hope you got a good night’s sleep too!) It all makes perfect sense and you’ve explained the difference between countertransference and PI nicely so that even I understand it now (I think!). I guess it still bothers me the ‘projective’ part of it – I can understand how unacknowledged or unowned feelings can be picked up by someone else (your thrumming explanation makes that very easy to understand!) – but the stuff I’ve read about PI implies...Read More...

UV I’m sorry you had to delete, for what it’s worth I think you have every right to feel angry at your mother. I do get the whole being stuck with anger thing though, I take the view that nearly all self directed anger actually belongs to someone else, though it’s hard to sort through it all to find the ‘right’ object and anyway it’s not as simple as that, there’s anger on anger on anger that arises in response to layers of experiences not necessarily involving the same person. And then...Read More...

Morgs, you offer so much too! Thank you for your support...I shall hold onto your hugs and caring thoughts. I hope things will work out too...I shall keep my fingers crossed that there are happier times ahead. Look after yourself FluttersRead More...

Meatloaf...yummy! You are making me hungry!Read More...

I'm glad they are trying. If they kept it up, I'd have to psychically kick their @$$es, somehow...anonymously, without knowing who or where they are.Read More...

lol! peep peep!Read More...

BB, Where you do think your self-judgement comes from? I mean usually, it is one of our parents that instilled that in us. Do you ever find yourself saying judgemental things to yourself that your mother or father said to you growing up?Read More...

I am sorry you experienced this. I know how awful it can feel to be so easily set off by a stranger and for them to not have empathy for you. I've had moments like this where later I felt so embarrassed for losing my cool and felt badly for taking it out on a stranger, even if it seemed that they were asking for it at the time. I hope you were able to find a moment of peace later after you left.Read More...

Welcome back Forlorn! I've missed your posts...mlcRead More...

http://www.adhd-becalmd.com/mm/orders.html I take Neu Becalmed (when I remember )recommended by my psychologist.unfortuantly I can't say it helps for sure, since I have not remember to take it consistently. arg. It's a combo of 5Htp which is known to help depressionsignificatntly and other stuff. Hope this helps- BBRead More...

Glad to know you're back safely SadlyRead More...

Thanks, DF. I could really receive and relate to everything you have to say. Especially, the above. I actually spend WAY more time talking about me, my journey, my growth, my processing and understanding of myself than I do about my T. So, in a way, I am obsessed with therapy as much as I am emotionally fixated on T at times. I think if H had described T as a tool in the way you say (like a resource), I could have accepted it. The way he meant was, "use and discard," and with my...Read More...

I think my T recommended this one when my assault stuff came up, or maybe a different one by Allender. I heard it was intense.Read More...

i think i will check this one out myself. thanks for postingRead More...

Draggers The Road Less Travelled was very good. I go back and read parts periodically. Makes me think. I can't remember names of books because I read from a kindle now. So I don't see the cover of a book ever. Only when I start it. When I turn the kindle back on to continue reading, it just pops on where I left off. I am reading a page turner by Kristin Hannah right now but have no idea what the name of it is. I probably should pay more attention to the titles so I can recommend to someone...Read More...

UV - That's interesting. My H shames me for apologizing about stuff I shouldn't. He gets angry at me. It makes me apologize more. I outright told T my problem with feeling sorry/responsible for too many things and how H reacts. We talked about how it was probably about preempting attacks in the past, but T also saw it as kind of a way of "connecting" with people and letting them know I'm thinking about and feeling for them. Rather than tell me not to do it, he'll just ask, "Are you...Read More...

just what I was looking for - thanksRead More...

((((TN))))) Sorry. I can't imagine how that must feel. Hugs (and affection in general) are such a sensitive subject for me, because they were nearly nonexistent with my parents during my childhood. The idea of being rejected for one feels like dying. I am so happy my H is such an affectionate father. Boo will grow up having lots of hugs, kisses and snugs from my mom and dad.Read More...

Thanks BG... I've read what you wrote, and I will write a proper reply tomorrow...right now things are really black, so I can't really write about me. Thanks for your advice, support and the virtual hug. It helps, really. MayRead More...

Oops I put my thanks to you AG in the wrong forum, I was so excited about the new sub forums! So going to repeat it here, thank you so much AG for all your hard work and effort and for making this place even better. LLRead More...