((Liese)), I don't have anything to add, just wanted to say we're in the same boat with our Hs. Mine is scared I'm going to grow and later abandon him, but he doesn't want to work on himself in therapy. He thinks he knows his own issues and can work on them himself. It makes me sad, and I too feel like you do about leaving them behind. But we have to do what's best for ourselves and realize that we each have our own work to do, and we can't force it on others to do their work. They have to...Read More...

Thanks, BG - I really do need to learn how to stand up for myself. That is why I like going to GP. She makes me feel safe to assert my own opinions. Liese - Thanks so much for asking after me. That's very sweet! I have a separate thread with the details in Personal Accounts section, but I am just spent right now. I feel like I don't have any more to give, but the toddler I watch is coming over soon, so I will have to find something in myself to offer these precious little ones.Read More...

Anxiety???Read More...

I often give my T thank yous. Only once or twice have I been able to muster my ability to say those words directly to him in a heartfelt way, for the depth of everything he is giving. However, when he said he would like to see my journals, I started writing little prefaces to the journal entries I email and including a quick little blurb that is a direct note to him, and usually express my deep thanks for how considerate and careful he is with me. Sometimes I text thank yous as well. These...Read More...

Ag, I can see how it seems as though much of the convo was about Ts feelings. In her defense, I started the convo by stating, "I would like to discuss how things went during our last session and I'm wondering how you are feeling about things now?" I intentionally made an effort throughout the convo to check in with her and not just make it about me because it was important for me to know how she was feeling. Typically, I do not feel that she makes the therapy about her. However, I do still...Read More...

Hi again, Thank you all for the encouragement about sharing more and I really do intend to but there's been a lot of grief associated with both the memory I processed and leaving my T which stands in sharp contrast to how incredibly good the session was and all the positive things that came out of it. So I am struggling to process all of my emotions. I don't want to write about all the grief and give the impression that things are bad. On the other hand, if I talk about all the good stuff, I...Read More...

((((YAKU)))))))Read More...

Based on my very limited knowledge of the session, I respectfully disagree. Therapists are trained to be very conscious of their demeanor, voice and tone in response to clients. It sounds to me like she was being callous on purpose, like she was trying to stir you up, to get you to question your fears in the first place. The reason is probably because you did try to get over your phobias by sampling some of the foods you're scared of, but then you went back to not eating them again - your T...Read More...

Thanks Jones- you really get it. I appreciate this so much. Yes, yes yes. I think I am going to try the pillow punching thing, next time. I am going to whale the hell out of those suckers. I used to kick my dryer, but that gets my kids too scared as it is so loud, so I better not do that.Read More...

Oh Daisy, I am glad you contacted your T and that he responded so quickly! This really is NOT a trivial thing - I think any of us would feel let down by what happened with your appt time. And this might be just my own stuff, but especially when another client comes into the mix. Please ignore if it doesn't apply to you, but I get VERY TERRITORIAL with my T when it comes to the "others." I also know that embarassed or sometimes guilty feeling that creeps in after contacting T. Please try to...Read More...

Morning all, Quick update - the rash has stopped spreading and stopped itching. I still have the hives and such, but they are starting to fade. I'm hoping it was simply the meds and it will all be gone soon. Now, I just have to make it til Thursday so I can get something new. Happy (argh) Monday!Read More...

Hey, Smiley....... I hope you are okay. Thinking of you. Please let us know how you are doing. TNRead More...

TN, Thinking of you!! So sorry you are hurting. I hope you can post about what happened when you are ready. seablueRead More...

http://www.lumosity.com/ This website designed by a univeristy has different "brain training games" including a course for people with PTSD. I did it for a couple of months about a year ago, and I think I am going to do it again. It's supposed to help over time with some of the cognitive effects of PTSD. I'm not sure if it does that for me or not, but I'm working on going back to school and I think it helps me with focus. Either way, it's a good distraction. It's free to try out for two...Read More...

Maybe you can bring that up to her. My T does the same thing and I have told him that the inconsistency is confusing to me.Read More...

I was doing OK this morning...and then the sermon at church was very triggering. The pastor talked about the four different types of difficulties we face: trials, temptations, trespasses and troubles. The first two, yeah, sure whatever. But when he was talking about trespasses of others against us (even saying the word "abuse") and troubles brought on by our own choices, I got triggered into feeling attacked. I started feeling things happening to me. I had to hide in the bathroom. And then I...Read More...

Yep, I get that popup for my messages as well and I have to click on it and read what I wrote and then it will go away. It is super annoying!Read More...

Go MH!!! nothing like asking for something and not only getting it, but feeling validated in the process. Way to go!Read More...

Not in that way. I'm trying to work on a way to tell her that. I have to admit (I'm in denial, ashamed etc) that I sent her an absolute war and peace document just after my session telling her how it is for me in that room. You are probably right PF. I know that she has been there for me consisently, and that she has had to deal with a lot of sh*t from me and yet she's still there... but, if she could just repeat those words you wrote in a very unforced manner, that would be so nice :-)...Read More...

Hey Deepfers, I gotta agree with STRM here, that this seems like the important stuff! I wonder if maybe it will be easier this time round for you, simply because you have already done it once through with your regulariT. I'm pretty sure your T won't be disappointed to hear it - in the grand scheme of things, it's actually really exciting and healthy that you are feeling safe enough to draw closer and feel scared, if that makes sense. And your T isn't into judging you, remember? Big hug, JonesRead More...

janedoe, I LOVE this comic strip! Thank you for posting it! I'm reading them from the beginning now.Read More...

Just testing my siggy....Read More...

Awww, Sadly. Maybe you could write and ask him about it. What it made you think, but you were afraid of misinterpreting things? That might be a bit scary, I know. I keep saying how I want T to come sit with me and put an arm around me or give me a hug, but in the end, if he went 99.99% of the way and expected me to be the one to initiate it, I'm not sure I could. That .01% chance of rejection feels like a thousand tons crushing me.Read More...

((((Sadly)))) Thanks for the hugs. I'm sorry you are having a rough time too. Too bad we don't know each other personally, than we could both get the holding we need, whenever one of us gets all little! Texted T like crazy. He finished reading my email and said everything was OK. I let him know all the awful things I was projecting and how when he said N was "immature" that it made me feel like he had revoked my right to feel angry/injured by what happened, and I feel so stupid for needing a...Read More...

LG - I aspire to be like you someday!Read More...