like three!Read More...

That's OK, BB. I've admitted the transference, but I still need to tell my T that I am a dissociative borderline with attachment injuries. Because, obviously my wikipedia searches are on par with his PhD in psychology, right? I think he will probably point out that the labels are not helpful and say something about how God isn't interested in labeling me, but healing me. I feel like I want to scream, "Please, define this horrible experience for me!" For some reason, I feel like a label would...Read More...

T has never given me homework, I think if i asked him to he would give me another speech on how I'm the only one who knows what I need, and everything I need to heal is inside of me (which i don’t mind because I love those speeches). But not a week goes by that i don’t have some sort of assignment for myself, besides spending at least 2 hours listening, processing, and journaling my sessions. And yes, I always (almost always) go over what I worked on with T. If it’s a book or workbook then...Read More...

that made me smile :-)Read More...

What an ass. Now I've never been married, but I think your Husband should be your #1 supporter, more so than your T. If you were in a serious crisis, would he just make fun of you for that too? :/ You're right, that is such BS and it makes me so irritated just reading about it. I hate it when people don't take things seriously or assume you're exaggerating. My dad didn't blink when I told him I was assaulted, he assumed I was exaggerating and just drunk (which I wasn't, I was hysterical more...Read More...

Ugh. Still don't know whether I am seeing T tonight or not. He said he might be sick, but never texted to cancel. So, I texted this morning to ask if we are meeting for our session. No reply yet. I was feeling good this morning, like it's OK if I don't see him...but now I am panicking again. And my new client (a friend) just told me she can't handle separating from her kid yet, so I get one day of work and lose the rest. I'm at peace, because I was concerned I wouldn't be able to emotionally...Read More...

Yes, indeed!Read More...

Nice to see you, Marsh-Read More...

BG - those boundaries are so important. I'm the only one who doesn't do financial entanglement stuff with my mother. Low and behold, I'm the only one with any sort of independence and credit score to speak of. It doesn't mean I won't be there for her. I've been helping her a lot with documents for a legal issue she's dealing with. But, I'm not going to do anything that jeopardizes my ability to care for my own family. It's a really hard line to draw, but essential!Read More...

What she said!!!Read More...

On my first birthday with oldT he just said "I want to wish you a very Happy Birthday" ... he knew because it was a session with my son and my son who was 8 at the time told him because he was excited. On my next birthday which was a beautiful day, I brought in donuts and a book I was reading that had resonated with me. So we ate dounts and I read to him some passages from the book and we talked about them and then at the end of the session he VERY unexpectedly hugged me for the first time.Read More...

For what it is worth, I have quit several times just to feel the relief of me being in control. After a few days or a week, when I start to feel differently, I let myself call them for an appointment and go back. They do not seem to be fazed by it.Read More...

I get this a lot. I think it is so rough for me to deal with because it is exactly what happens in my family, and I've never liked the anticipation of whatever it is, as it was often something that wasn't necessarily in my favor. I think it's totally passive-aggressive, just not in as hurtful of a way as it often seen. Personally, I've done this many, many times, especially in my past, when I was hurting and in need of feeling special. I never took it far, more of a "hey, did you hear?"...Read More...

I think being honest is the way to go. I too worry about being pushed away. Honest got me berated, threatened and kicked out of my home throughout my youth. But, there are safe people to be honest with. Like the others have said, T is a good start. I am slowly taking steps into relationships with people I think I can count on with that honesty. Right now, it's just my T, my pastor and his wife, a set of friends from church who has similar family history...but it is slowly increasing. I also...Read More...

The only pattern I really can see between T1 and T2 is that I have to pay both of them to take an interest in my life.Read More...

Hi SG, My smpathy to you over the loss of you pet. I know that it is painful. In addition I am very sorry that your mom just doen't get it and Probably won't. That is a rejection from hell. Never could understand that type of behavior. (((((((((((((((SG)))))))))))))))Read More...

I would keep being yourself and do what feels right for you and they can say if they don't like it. I shake hands a lot with people in formal settings and did with my P when I first met him but was aware he was completely stunned by it. I touched him!! (horrors!). Normally I give and receive hugs in therapy and am held when the pain has me sobbing like a small child, but this P as you have probably read, has never touched a patient in his entire 23 years of practicing, so we are well tangled...Read More...

Confused... about why therapy has made me worse and not better so far. Other than connecting with another human being and being able to begin trusting/needing someone else, everything has gone down hill. I've struggled with depression (and related thoughts) all my life, but never gestured until therapy. I've struggled with hating myself, but never physically punished myself until therapy. I've struggled with anxiety, but never had it cripple me into not achieving the things I absolutely must...Read More...

Thank you all for your responses. It has made me think =) I feel that she pushes me to talk even though i feel uncomfortable with her. I'm not seeing this T at the moment as we sort have never developed a rapport. I think the idea of posting was just coming to terms with my experience.Read More...

Thanks. I appreciate both of your encouragement. I guess I just wish I could edit out the passages of the Bible where being authentic and humble in our brokenness before God involved all those "one anothers." Like, if I could be childlike without the having to be loved, prayed for, have my burdens carried by another, confessing to others...you know, all that stuff which becomes problematic when you just can't trust people? That would be great!!! I guess I'm just getting frustrated, because...Read More...

Incognito, I love your "all roads lead to Rome" analogy. I have felt that way quite a few times lately so much so that it was either I quit therapy or I approach a particular topic. When I was having the "you don't care about me" conversation, at one point I told T this story about when I was little. I used to play with this mean girl all the time. When I went to her house, she told me I could have a yodel or an apple and which one did I want. I kept saying, I don't care, I don't care. She...Read More...

I noticed it was missing too. I was thinking the same as MH so thanks for the reassurance, AG. ~D.Read More...

He has been incorporating them, but my transference stuff makes it less successful than when other people respond to me in the way I asked. I am still constantly freaking out about how he hates me even though, logically, I know he doesn't.Read More...

Could you start by saying something like "There's something I want to tell you, but I'm afraid to speak about it because other therapists have reacted poorly in the past" That could be one way to start. Even if you don't tell her that day, at least it starts the conversation. Also, it gives her a bit of time to let the info sink in. She won't be completely blind sighted by the news. It sounds like you've built a relationship with this person and she should be accepting of all of you. I know...Read More...

Honestly, when I first started therapy I wouldn't have been able to articulate any of these things. I think my goal would have been - try not to cry all the time I think it's worthwhile to think about goals in this way and try to imagine what you want from therapy and your life. If you are strong enough to imagine this and articulate these needs, then kudos to you. I do think that some people (myself included) come to therapy and aren't able to articulate goals or what they want from life.Read More...