I'm sorry that this is so hard for you. My T has cried before and I also found it incredibly difficult. I cannot cry and to see him tear up was really challenging for me. I imagine that your T cares for you deeply and is feeling pain. I think it's worth asking if this is a soft spot or if she has personal experience with this issue.Read More...

TN, You deserve to have this beautiful experience after all you went through. This guy will not let you down. The attachment stuff is psychodynamic? It just seems so basic. My T has no problem with me getting attached to him. He knows he's the center of my world and he tries to make that comfortable for me. Even though the treatment approach is different, don't the CBT's have to have a general theory of the mind and dysfunction?Read More...

No, but deleting is!! j/k do whatever ever works for you, BB.Read More...

I find the same thing in my profession. I shirk away compliments as they bother me immensely. A small part of me (my superego, I believe) loves the compliments, but the rational part of me is always questioning my worthiness of receiving them. I hope that all of our Ts get satisfaction out of creating a safe space so that their clients can comfortably open up. I hope they also get satisfaction out of the fact that they are able to hold the trust of the least trusting people. I can imagine...Read More...

I journalled with all of my previous therapists but burnt them all in 2006 (long story and I really regret it as they could truly help me now) when my ex C started holding me in June, the dramatic change in me and my interior awareness was so dramatic that I wrote it out as a story and that is how my blog started. EMDR T asked me in December to write a journal and I resisted but did because she kept asking me to. I now find I write my deepest most secret things in that and really allow...Read More...

I will gladly answer any that I can!Read More...

Very wise words AG. This is something that I work on with T as well. It's hard and not an instant process, but it is a work in progress.Read More...

Thanks, my sister seems to be doing really well. My nephew is a bit traumatized, stuck to his Mom. I have to watch him five hours tonight and he screams if she even hands him to me for a few minutes. I have been his major caregiver outside of her, but he's just freaked out. I'm struggling to process my own stuff with people around all the time (I can deal with people sometimes, but am introverted enough I definitely need alone time to recharge and my sister is very extroverted). So, I'm...Read More...

Wow, MH, and Monte too- I could have written that. I'm so sorry you feel this way, I know it is awful, but it won't last forever- I *have* to believe that. One thing that this whole thing has pointed out to me, is that the whole "cry it out" method of child-rearing that is *still* so prevalent, even in our knowledgable age, is truly hellish for a baby to experience. I knew beyond doubt that I was re-experiencing that in the relationship with my T- before I ever visited this website or did...Read More...

Dear PG's sister, I’m so sorry for you and your family's loss. You are so kind to honor your dear sister's wish to let as all know about the loss of your dear sister. She was a wonderful caring and kind person! She will be sorely missed here but she will always be remembered! My prayers for you and your family through this terrible loss.Read More...

Welcome back, DF! Tongue piercing? Nice! That's hot.Read More...

Interesting thread. I felt,and still feel, at times, undeserving of therapy. I voiced my concern and my T had IMHO, a GREAT reply. I was feeling incredibly guilty about wanting to have more than one session a week (I wanted 3, but scheduling allowed for 2.) She said it is not the weak that seek out counseling and support, but the opposite. She said it takes an incredibly strong and courageous person to seek therapy, to look deep inside and spend XX amount of time each week to examine...Read More...

This is making me so tempted to try, LOL. My curiosity will not win though, because I am so honest with T, I would end up telling him eventually and I don't want to have to tell him that until I'm a little more secure he's not going anywhere.Read More...

Irony makes me feel more detached and is soothing to me. So I do pick ringtones for that purpose.Read More...

Yes, exactly! #1 is constantly on my mind. #2 is what I call my "so what?" feelings. I have a jumble of things I want to talk to T about, to reveal "me" to him and be known and accepted and cared for. But #1 makes me feel those desires are unrealistic and #2 keeps me from being able to see any of the things I want to discuss as important enough to waste his time with. So, instead I waste both of our time and my money blanking out on him.Read More...

How lucky of you to have someone in your life who gives you such comfort with his words. I think that is something to treasure, revel in, enjoy--if you can. I know that when I start to feel positive feelings towards my T that I can have a hard time. It's funny how we can create rules that only apply to ourselves. I read this and think, well, of course it was okay for yakusoku to react the way she did. I understand that she had reasons to be upset, and I understand how it may feel...Read More...

(((((((((((((AG)))))))))))))) I'm sorry you are grieving, but also so inspired by how you are working through this transition that I know I will some day have to face.Read More...

My T just terminated therapy. This board has been a big help - just to read through all of the posts. His behavior felt incredibly cruel, demeaning, and punitive. It's so hard to understand that everyone leaves. I needed him to stay and he couldn't.Read More...

Jumping on way late here, but I feel compelled to reply as this thread has been HUGE for me to read. Big time. I just uncovered a photo of my T through a mylife search, which led me to her "other" last name, which led me to her son's FB page (which does not have the photos marked private) which led me to her Husband's FB page (again, photos not private) which landed me a photo of her. Attachment? Yep. Boundary issues? Yep. Fear of her kicking me off the couch, so to speak? Yep. But I'm...Read More...

I've been kind of trying to get this info out of my T. Like, please label me! Please show me step-by-step how to get through this! But, I doubt he will, because I'm really good at pretending health and am an over-achiever and a people-pleaser and it might be dangerous to give me the tools to just do what I thought others wanted/expected of me.Read More...

MH - so glad you didn't hit the delete button! This has been a great thread for me to read, and of course, so timely for me. I've learned that no matter how alone or lost I feel, there is always someone out there who understands cause they've been there too. Unfortunately, the only way I know that is by "talking" about it, which I rarely do - until this forum - so glad I've found it and everyone here!Read More...

Yes I am reaching out for support here, and finding it- thank you so much for the encouragement. It's really hard for me to do this. I love how your T reacts, pushing you and then getting animated when you make a connection. He sounds wonderful. I think I would like it if my T did that, however he is more laid back, which is fine too. I just wish he wouldn't "let me off the hook" as easily as he does, but I don't see what I can do about that. I'm sorry you are missing your T...when do you...Read More...

LG: I think this is excellent advice. But very difficult to follow... BBRead More...

Yeah, best I have gotten is my anger connecting with me...and that hasn't been too safe. It's my need to achieve though. T told me to stop shutting out my feelings and by the third session, I had several pages about how I thought and felt about the incident. And then I kind of fell apart. I don't think he anticipated at all how my on-off switch works. And I will tear myself apart trying to achieve something I've been asked to do.Read More...