Hi Stoppers, On the other hand, there's new T, who has an excellent memory. He actually told me that that's one of the compliments he gets from clients, that he remembers what they tell him. I've noticed if I drop a name once, he might actually bring up the name several weeks later. However, we went through a period when every session felt like ground hogs day. It seemed as though he didn't remember anything about me either. He didn't follow up on things we may have talked about the previous...Read More...

Littleplanet, Hi there. Your post was concise and packed with meaning. Wondering if that T was right, if trusting back was not in the cards for you? It seems a bit grim that a T would say that. I like to believe that learning is always possible.Read More...

incognito... that was a beautiful and amazing response by your T. This man really gets it and I feel secure that you are in good hands with him. I agree with Pan that you are really doing good work and making progress. I also like that he reminds you that you can contact him in between sessions. I know that good feeling you speak of and sometimes it lasts with me for a few days, sometimes a few hours, sometimes it's gone when I reach my car. But if it goes away too fast I reach out for my T...Read More...

Hey UV, I too have had late onset of symptoms, although things for me were probably unresolved all along. I think the stress of life wears us down as we age. But good news is brains plasticity!!! Thank god!!! And that god we live in a time when more and more practioners know about the brains plasticity!! It takes me longer now to get things but I feel those neurons growing on occasion.Read More...

Oh June, what an important insight this is. I sometimes think that with my mom leaving so abruptly i never had the chance to seperate from her properly, and that something similar happens to people who are abandoned with unethical termination in therapy. So that step from beating yourself up to being able to see yourself is a very big and important one. Hooray for you! Pan PS From the missing my mom thread, funnily enough my mom was an amazing woman and hearing you say it touched me very...Read More...

((((((Itshardtosay))))) Sorry things are so rotten. You have to take care of yourself, first and foremost. ((((((HUGS)))))) LieseRead More...

Have you considered going to a sex therapist with your husband? Or, if that is a bit too much, what about designating one night a week as "date" night. No kids, no household talk. Just you and hubby. Try a new restaurant each week....and a new sex position, perhaps??Read More...

This is hugely illuminating to me too, I feel so grateful to this forum, and for the helpful and insightful comments by TN and UV. Thanks UV - very good comments.I am amazed I am seeing this, and one of the most amazing bits is that I can remember how strong the 'vortex' is when it is operating, it sort of fills my mind and being and is all consuming. I am not in it now - part of seeing it seems to reduce it. I actually saw sweetP today as he had sweetly agreed to do a one off family session...Read More...

AG recommended that book to me- and I thought it was FANTASTIC! I gave it to my T to read, which he did, and he kept it. Ah well, glad he read it. It has lots of me in the margins though so I hope he does not lend it out. I write lots in the good books. There is one page in the book (AG knows it- I think in the 50s or 70s- not sure)that jumps out at me- about the power of the theray relationship. It begins... Those with hazy parental relationships...ah not even sure if that is correct. AG...Read More...

a little self disclosure is bonding. but, too much, and i feel like...who's therapy is this anyway... that old sack, t3 talked all the time about herself. i can't begin to tell you how BAD she was. ohhhh!!! anyway. things that show their humanity and own struggles, a bit...like pa talked about the death of a friend just a bit today. it helped me to hear him share something with me that meant alot to him. so, a bit is good. NONE is too weird...too stiff (t1) ... jill and halo...that is SICK!Read More...

yay, sounds like the perfect solution...taking a little breather but not quitting. I love it! Enjoy your time off.Read More...

Hi Pan, Miss my Dad something awful sometimes so I can relate. On the first year anniversary of his death, we had a dumb dinner - I think it was called. Check it out on the internet. I can't remember the rules but it turned out to be a lot of fun with all of us eventually sharing really nice warm memories of my Dad. Part of the dinner is in silence but we all did eventually talk. My kids admitted afterwards that they were nervous at first but really enjoyed it. With your mil's birthday so...Read More...

Permafrost ~ That is a really tough spot. I think it is one of the hardest things for me to not distrust. It’s also a pretty essential thing. It’s taken me time to not distrust my T and to risk that she could be a safety net. Honestly, it's still a matter of that she "could be" a safety net, but I believe that is possible enough to take the risk. And it's taken a lot of time to get there. We’ve talked through about what to do in a crisis beforehand. She’s explained and reassured me a number...Read More...

Incognito, I'm sorry that you are going through this. I feel very similarly to you right now. In fact just last Tues. during my session I sat there in silence and maybe said like 20 words (and none of them really made any sense). I go in to therapy feeling like a failure...like we've discussed all this before so what is the point. While you're words are worthless and loneliness, mine are pathetic and weak. The fact that I seem to not be able to verbalize anything when I go in some weeks just...Read More...

There are many different kinds of meditation and i find mindfulness particularly useful. I have been meditating for years and there are two aspects to it. The first is to calm our minds a bit, we have so many thoughts and ideas and so much activity in our heads that having something simple like a pebble or your breath to focus on is a starting point. It is fascinating to see how swept away we get in emotion and memory and it is a long hard struggle to begin to change that pattern. The...Read More...

Hi again, I'm seeing my T in a few hours. I'll probably take along the pro/con list, and I've written a letter explaining some of how I'm feeling. Pan, it's encouraging to hear that telling your T your were terrified of him helped you to make progress in therapy. I didn't originally go to therapy for anxiety, but I'm developing a serious anxiety problem through the process of therapy. It feels very discouraging to be going backwards rather than forwards. (I originally went to therapy for...Read More...

I like sweetP too!Read More...

LG, I am so glad she got back to you and you are going to see her. I hope you are able to clear up any questions you may have on Thursday. Keep us posted. (((HUGS)))) LieseRead More...

Glad you guys enjoyed this...I did too.. Df, what is the "It gets better" movement? I hadn't realized it was a real movement... BBRead More...

So reassuring for ME that you write this Ingognito. I have just posted on my own blog yesterday or Monday all about the dynamics over me trying to reach my P by phone and him not responding and me living in anguish about rejection etc and yet remembering how sweet my P is and that if he knew I needed to hear his voice, he would have phoned. So round and round I went. We are going to discuss it all at my next session on Friday, so that I can find out, as I said to him on thephone yesterday...Read More...

Hi Daisy, I'm very attached to my T right now and find it unsettling and giving me a sense of peace at the same time. I'm very dependent upon him right now for validation of my world and a positive sense of self worth. I think ultimately if the relationship ended abruptly say due to his untimely death, I would probably be okay. He knows I find my dependency unsettling. He also reassures me that it is part of the process and that ultimately I will be able to give myself what he gives me. I...Read More...

Jill, I need skills too. Sometimes I think like my T purposely makes it so hard for me to talk about my feelings that I get mad. But talking about my needs and feelings is really hard for me to begin with. He has told me that he hopes that what happens in therapy will transfer to the real world. So, I have come to believe that he makes it hard for me because to make it easy wouldn't help me. And, if I can learn to open up to him and trust him, I can do the same thing IRL. It's a very...Read More...

i just feel like im at the end of my rope and i want an answer from, are u in or out. is that unfairRead More...

Just popped in and actually had another thought...in your dream your left arm is broken. Left arm/hand is connected to the right brain...in fact, some therapist I've heard, will reccomend that righty's try writing and drawing with their left hand in order to reconnect with their right brain...hm. Just a thought. Not trying to say anything like that you have a "broken" right brain, but more, maybe it's an area in your life that needs development or healing with your T's help, and...Read More...